Problem with guy on dating site PoF, what happened?

[Tulloni]

I've recently been chatting to a Brazilian guy on the dating site Plenty of Fish who I thought was living in London at the time. He seemed like a real nice guy and if his photos were anything to go by he was really, really good looking. He claimed he could cook and seemed in general smart and sophisticated. I found him very attractive.

I suggested we meet and then he said he was living in Rio. I wasn't aware of this though maybe I overlooked something. So anyway I just said 'never mind' and 'have fun over there' as in 'never mind about my suggestion of meeting up' and 'I hope you have a good time in Rio'. Now for some reason he took offence at this and accused me of being rude and basically just saying goodbye when he still wants to meet.

But how can we meet if we're living thousands of miles apart?!

So I posted a long message back saying I am disappointed he thought of me that way.

And now I feel bad about the whole exchange as he did initially seem like a really nice guy and he looked really handsome. I hope I haven't hurt his feelings. Maybe he was too sensitive? Maybe I was inadvertently insensitive without realising? Maybe we just misunderstood each other? I dunno, but I feel bad about the whole episode. Maybe there were just too many cultural differences between us.

Still its a shame. I never seem to have much luck with online dating. But its not like I have the confidence to go out to a gay bar and start chatting to a nice, young guy there I don't know. If I do go out I only ever seem to attract guys who are well into their 40s and 50s. There's nothing wrong with older guys at all its just that I prefer someone a bit nearer my age in their 20s and 30s (the oldest I'd go for is 38 which is 10 years older than me).

So what happened here do you think? Has this ever happened to anyone on PoF or elsewhere?

[Jake]

Well I don't really see in what way you were wrong or rude... since he wasn't close to you and although you may have missed his location, I'm pretty certain he saw yours. I hated it when I was on dating site that some guys far away on another continent approach, me taking in consideration that it's practically impossible to meet. No matter how much money one may have it's just not practical. PoF also stands for Plenty of Fake. And buddy unless you are incline to meet people out of range next time you may want to specify it in your profile. At least when you do and someone haven't read it (like it's so often the case) you will not feel ashamed or bad for having been somewhat rude. I come off often rude with people on Online dating because they are not respect the net ticket... they see a good looking guy and it's often all they cared... it doesn't matter to them the 15 minutes you spent on telling what you're looking for and/or who you are. So don't worry too much... I'd say he was a little too sensitive no matter of how cute he looks you certainly don't want a drama queen in your life.

[Dreamer]

Internet dating is sketchy as fuck, by nature.

I wouldn't take to much consideration into it, as you are.

Just move back to the hunt, and forget about him.

He's probably an imposter anyways,
since he couldn't even get his location straight.

And since he's "supposedly" in Rio,
it probably wouldn't work out anyways, location-wise,
if you were somehow able to reign him back into your prospects.

[Jake]

He's probably an imposter anyways,
since he couldn't even get his location straight.

Oh you can be almost certain he is... although sometimes you may be lucky... but really I wouldn't feel ashamed or bad for having been rude... online dating is like a book... one chapter's over, go to the next or throw the darn book away if it was boring to the core. And find a better library

[Tulloni]

Thanks guys! Yeah I am on the verge of giving up. I am meeting someone off there on Wednesday but I am starting to get weary of the whole thing. There are so many dodgy people on these sites and they are often dishonest in one way or another. I suppose we all lie from time to time for all sorts of reasons but these people practically make it their profession. I am going to continue with it but I will cut down on it for sure.