He still lives with his ex?

[kidchameleon]

3-4 months =/= 3 years, your ex still moved out by his own will, as op pointed here this dude is still making plans with the ex as in long therm, to keep living together, as I said on my previous post is totally okay to be friends with your ex, one thing is to be there when in need the other to relegate the new guy you're dating, is not the ex behavior the problem, it's the dude the op is dating, it seems to me that more than being over between them, they just decided to take a break.

Yes, but nothing in his post actually points towards your conclusion, you could be making him paranoid for no reason. I mean, anyone who is sharing a house would be well-advised to get permission from their flatmate when bringing someone over - they can't just take who they please in/out willy nilly, it'd be inconsiderate. And if someone you had known that long was having a family crisis, ex or not, you'd have to have pretty whacky priorities to just leave them to it so you can drop someone off at the bus.

At the end of the day, they've been broken up for 3 years. I'd say if they were any leftover feelings they'd have done something about it by now. And considering the state of rent prices, etc, right now, it only makes sense that they'd want to stay together - it'd be far safer financially for both of them. Age has nothing to do with it, housing is expensive no matter how old you are, and for all you know they can only afford to live in a house like theirs if they share, maybe if the op's man moved out he'd be forced to downsize and doesn't want to? There are plenty of justifications for them living together.

[26hughsie]

Sorry doesn't sound good at all, it's ok to still care about your ex , but not put him before you.

[Ryocchi]

Yes, but nothing in his post actually points towards your conclusion, you could be making him paranoid for no reason. I mean, anyone who is sharing a house would be well-advised to get permission from their flatmate when bringing someone over - they can't just take who they please in/out willy nilly, it'd be inconsiderate. And if someone you had known that long was having a family crisis, ex or not, you'd have to have pretty whacky priorities to just leave them to it so you can drop someone off at the bus.

At the end of the day, they've been broken up for 3 years. I'd say if they were any leftover feelings they'd have done something about it by now. And considering the state of rent prices, etc, right now, it only makes sense that they'd want to stay together - it'd be far safer financially for both of them. Age has nothing to do with it, housing is expensive no matter how old you are, and for all you know they can only afford to live in a house like theirs if they share, maybe if the op's man moved out he'd be forced to downsize and doesn't want to? There are plenty of justifications for them living together.

I completely get what you say, but sorry, age has something to do with it, at 41 most people are already settled on their lives even of they are not romantically linked anymore, I'm not trying to generalize but the attitude the guy has "I'm better with someone I know (that didn't work out) that trying someone new" come to me as if he's not taking the op seriously, otherwise he might have said, "I wouldn't more for the moment, but given i met the right and after we spent some time together of course I would me", when the op posted this it was a red light for me, he might date the op sometime but it seems the dude is not completely open for a new relationship at the same time he still wants to be loved and have sex, so it does make me think that he just wants the op to fulfill his needs for affection and sex but he's quite settled overall with the life he has and with the partner he has, because even if they are not romantically linked anymore they are still partners, and doesn't want to change that for the time being, maybe not ever, still I may be wrong but overall with what the op said that's the vibe he's giving me.