Sometimes I don't feel "fully gay" because I'm half masc, half fem

[Arkansota]

I am homosexual I feel like the feminine guys are gayer than me and it messes with my identity. Am I thinking about this the right way?

[Kenny221]

No, I don't think it is. I'm masc, and I still think I'm gay. I'm still a confident gay teen...I may not necessarily look the part, but I do feel it. I like dicks...and like you, I like much older dicks and it's just the way it is....Our behavior doesn't determine if we're 'gay' or not...behavior doesn't really even have a correlation with sexuality. There ARE straight men who are more feminine then me, but I don't think they are necessarily gay. Gay and Behavior are two different things.

[Genersis]

Not really.
Sexuality isn't really linked to how feminine or masculine a person is.(Be that look, behaviour ETC)
Though the most common stereotypes play off of the masculine/feminine thing a lot.

[Arkansota]

Not really.
Sexuality isn't really linked to how feminine or masculine a person is.(Be that look, behaviour ETC)
Though the most common stereotypes play off of the masculine/feminine thing a lot.

And those stereotypes do make me feel insecure. I don't mind people who are stereotypical- I only mind the stereotypes themselves.

[Evan]

Stereotypes are just that; stereotypes. There are plenty of masculine gay guys, and there are plenty of feminine straight guys. They just don't stand out that much because 1. no one assumes they're gay/straight because they don't fit the stereotypes, and 2. masculine gay guys are more hesitant to come out because, again, they don't fit the stereotype. Being (somewhat) masculine doesn't make you any less gay than someone who's feminine. It just makes them fit the stereotype more than you do.

Being gay means nothing more than being into guys as opposed to girls. The way you act, the way you dress, your hobbies.. they all have absolutely nothing do to with it.

You're just as gay as any other gay person.

[kidchameleon]

Your gayness isn't measured by how much you conform to stereotypes, or represent cliches. Just because you don't speak in a high pitched voice, wear pink, or... whatever the other stereotypes are... doesn't mean your sexuality is in question.

Some people are "just" gay, some people see it as their whole identity, and some people make it everything about them - people deal with their sexual identity in different ways.

Just because you don't match up to the gay on your left or the gay on your right doesn't mean you can't be a member of their club - it just means you're you, and not them Don't worry about it.

[sillyboy86]

I agree with all the guys before me, I'm not the most masculine in the world, but I definitely not feminine, I'm a male, I never wanted to be a girl and I still love dick (and pussy ;-P).
Luckily you're only eighteen, so you still have plenty of time to deal with your doubts.

Stereotypes are just that; stereotypes.

Like this dude says. ;-P

[Jake]

Ark little dude as much as I understand you want to fit in as Evan pointed out so eloquently there's no gay standard. Few years ago when I wasn't into a gay relationship, my mom and I were walking on St-Catherine street in Montreal by Beaudry subway - if you don;t know that's the gay village in Montreal... it's downtown and accessible to everyone and trust me it's not only gay you see there and sometimes you really can't make up your mind as who's gay or not. So to continue the story we were walking nonchalantly watching everyone, my mom and I have a similar activity that we call people watching... some people watch birds... we watch people LOL. And we came across a gang of biker... you know typical bikers with Harley Davidson's beard, tattoo, leather suit all the shebang.

Now for you to understand how Montreal see bikers... simple if you have watched Sons of Anarchy... well we have the same here... few chapters of Hell's Angel, Rock Machine and Belzebut... but then I was asking my mom... -"what the hell those bikers are doing in the gay village"... because listen the adage wants that no Hell's Angel or heavily tattooed bikers could be gay... the represent everything that is manly but not gay, they look manly and they stink manly too LOL. So we kind of walked around them but when we got close one of the biker went at the same ice-cream stand that we were and he was in line in front of us... tall man, long hairs, about 275 pounds dressed of leather (very scary look). And he ordered... OMG dude you can't believe the face I did... my jaw went straight for the floor... this huge guy looking scary and all had a Minnie Mouse's voice... at 15 I had a bigger voice than he did... so my mom and I just looked at each other silently but yeah my jaw was still on the floor and some ants were starting to get in LOL. I was too curious and too shocked I had to ask so I asked him if he was gay... and he was very understanding and brought my mom and I to introduce us to the gang and there it was the very first time in my life I was meeting a gang of gay religious bikers. They we're the nicest guy ever.

From that day on all stereotypes I had for gay just dropped. Hopefully you get something from that story Ark.

[MisterTinkles]

"Gay" is a man liking to be with man. It has nothing to do with how you talk, speak, or act....even though people will tell you different, its wrong.

Ive seen plenty of hetero men who act like fags. Ive seen plenty of "gay" men who are mean, tough, red neck types.

So who you prefer to be with on a date or kiss, has NO bearing on that.

[Jason111]

"Gay" is a man liking to be with man. It has nothing to do with how you talk, speak, or act....even though people will tell you different, its wrong.

Ive seen plenty of hetero men who act like fags. Ive seen plenty of "gay" men who are mean, tough, red neck types.

So who you prefer to be with on a date or kiss, has NO bearing on that.

I completely agree with this one!
Moreover, the idea that a gay guy has to be a queen who loves shopping, listens to Britney and screams like a lady when he sees a par of Gucci shoes is exactly the stereotype that most people in closed communities have about gay guys. We, on the other hand, should know better. You don't have to be Jack from Will and Grace in order to be gay. You can be whoever you want and act as you please.

I've met people who turned out to be gay and who seemed more masculine than my dad, let's say. I would never have guessed that they could be gay until they came out to me. Even then I thought it was some sort of a prank.

Besides, being a masculine gay guy is considered a plus "Straight acting dudes" are all the rage, at least in Europe. Use it.