can someone help me? im so confused

[chocolatecake]

I need help/advice... I recently met a girl who I initially didn't really feel any attraction to but after a few casual encounters I've started feeling things that I've previously only felt for guys (I've always been pretty sure I'm straight). I don't think it's a girl crush because it's not as much about admiration/looking up to her as it is about just not being able to stop thinking about her in a certain way and I recently heard same love by macklemore and now I associate that song with her and I can't stop listening to it. I've always been comfortable with my sexuality (or so I thought) and I often admire the physical attractiveness of other women (and men too) but I've never had any emotional attraction to a woman. I've had a couple of boyfriends who I've definitely had feelings for but I don't remember the last time I had genuine interest in a guy... I don't know what to make of this situation. I'm 18 so is it possible I'm just going through a phase or am I discovering who I really am? Above everything else I'm just really confused and I don't know if I should talk to someone about this or even who to talk to

[cardiganwearer]

I'm probably not the best person to offer advice and I have little to offer, but here's a couple of things.

Your description of your predicament is a model of clarity, so while you may be confused, you obviously have the apparatus to assess and monitor your predicament and analyse any advice you do get.

You're only eighteen so you can afford to make a mistake, you don't have to sign up to anything for life. There will be pain and anxiety but there's plenty of that in even the most well ordered lives.

You may be just going through a phase, or it may be a discovery of who you are. It may turn out that who you are is someone who goes through phases. I promise I'm not just playing with words or being facetious here, it may be true.

If nothing else, you've now got evidence that someone has at least read your post. Someone will be along shortly with something a bit more concrete rather than the waffle I've just put together.

[Vigilias]

On the other hand...

Why not simply go with the flow?

As long as you're not hurting your self or anybody else, what does it have to do with anyone else?

The girl your feelings are directed towards, does she know? Can you tell her without her having a bad reaction? Admitting to feelings doesn't mean you have to act on them.

Is there anyone close to you who you can trust to talk to about this?

Have you known this girl for very long? You say that you recently met her. Is it possible you've had one or two bad experiences with guys so far (Ohhhhh we can be pigs!) and you're simply imprinting on this new girl everything you wish could go right in a relationship.

This may very well be a phase or it could have been something lying dormant in you all these years just waiting for the right set of variables - a random convergence of events, the right mixture of the right hormones and a response from the brain's limbic system (The part responsible for emotions).

I don't know, it's a Gordian knot that some of us have to unpick slowly while others are fortunate enough to slice through it.

Whatever unfolds in the next few weeks or so, we're here to offer suggestions and thoughts.

Welcome to the boards, by the way

[MisterTinkles]

Youre just growing up, figuring out who you are.

You will find yourself attracted to different kinds of people, places, and things.
Thats because you are going from childhood to adulthood. Tastes change, things that make you look twice will change, things you like to look at or listen too will change.

Just because you find someone attractive enough on the inside, doesn't mean you are attracted to women now....well, not necessarily. She just could be a nice person. I find nice people attractive and interesting, regardless of if they are men or women. Nice people always seem more attractive than the "goodlooking" ones that turn out to be assholes.

I think you are finding that you prefer to find beautiful people.....that are beautiful on the inside.
Which are definitely the best kind of people you want to be around.

Just because you are attracted to someone does not mean its sexual. You can be attracted to people for various reasons, and most of them have nothing to do with sex, or the sex of the person.

People who are good on the inside make better friends too.