THE solution to bullying

[johnnyboy]

Only you can let other peoples words hurt you....

Bullies are the most insecure people in the world.

[Arkansota]

Yes, it's called hypocrisy.

Same thing happened to all the nazi murderers who fled to Argentina and became respectful.

That is a wildly offensive comparison.

[matty7]

its good to own up to been a bully in your past and wise enough to realise how hurtful it can be, have you talked to the people you bullied since, offered an apology or tried to stop bullying mate - very brave to admit too as it opens you up for criticism too -

we had bullying at school but not on me, I found that been as crazy as bat crap tented to put other older pupils off from bothering you in case you did something far worse back to them - they always go for a weaker target - not saying this will work for everyone but if they think you are willing to hit them with a baseball bat to defend yourself then they will go elsewhere

[MisterLove]

That is a wildly offensive comparison.

I didn't want to offend anyone, I was just trying to say that time alone doesn't make it right.

Bullying is indeed a terrible thing and should not be taken lightly.

[Arkansota]

I didn't want to offend anyone, I was just trying to say that time alone doesn't make it right.

Bullying is indeed a terrible thing and should not be taken lightly.

But it's not acceptable to demonize bullies.

[James]

As a fellow virgo, being outed in jr high, guess that would be middle school now, I almost took my own life even being a 7th degree martial artist, I was taught not to retaliate, but after my sister stopped me from taking my own life, I did confront the bullies all together, and they did say sorry, as most of the school came out to see me clean their clocks, I didn't accept their apology as they were just saying it to not get a beating, but did not fight them either, Jim

[Arkansota]

As a fellow virgo, being outed in jr high, guess that would be middle school now, I almost took my own life even being a 7th degree martial artist, I was taught not to retaliate, but after my sister stopped me from taking my own life, I did confront the bullies all together, and they did say sorry, as most of the school came out to see me clean their clocks, I didn't accept their apology as they were just saying it to not get a beating, but did not fight them either, Jim

If you don't accept the apology, you cannot continue to hold that against them. In my opinion, not accepting an apology almost always puts you in the wrong.

[James]

If an apology is sincere, by all means accept it, but if it is an off handed comment, don't

[Arkansota]

If an apology is sincere, by all means accept it, but if it is an off handed comment, don't

But some bullies really do feel awful and really do want to fix the damage they have caused because they truly have changed. Remember that.

[Wade]

I disagree that most bullies are just fundamentally cruel and torment their classmates for amusement. In most cases I'm sure bullies come from broken families or at least deal with problems of insecurity.

This exactly.

I think the solution to the bullying problem, if there is one, is to attempt to understand what makes kids (and adults) feel the need to assert their power over others. And yes, studies have shown that kids who are considered "bullies" almost always come from homes where there is some sort of abuse going on.

Separating kids into groups of "the good ones" and "the bad ones" is just plain sick to me.

It seems to me that some adults who get really fired up over the bullying of children are trying to rectify the wrongs that were done to themselves as a child. Not that I think that wanting to eliminate bullying among children is an ignoble cause, but I think some people get so wrapped up in a desire to see their own bullies of the past punished that they project those feelings onto "bullies" today.

The whole anti bullying craze is very strange to me. Particularly in the "gay community" (I hate that term... but I'm a hypocrite) there seems to be this notion that there exists only bullies and victims. The problem is much more complicated than that. A person can be a bully to one person, and be a saint to another. We all have the capacity to bully, and probably all have been someone's bully without realizing it. It doesn't have to be physical bullying, it can be as simple as not being welcoming to a new member of a particular social group. That person will wonder why you're not nice to him or her, be convinced you hate them... and BAM! You're their bully forever.