afraid to lose your masculinity?

[NayNay]

Alright, so I was thinking lately of how afraid I was for the longest time that I would lose my masculinity....

You see growing up I tended to like a lot of things girls like, for example the spice girls, playing with barbies with my sisters etc.. as I grew more aware of gender roles I hid what I liked.

I wonder if it is the same thing for anyone else here? Were you guys afraid of being less masculine and avoiding things that you liked doing, listening to etc...

I recently came across a hunk on a dating website and thought omg, he would never go for me i m not masculine enough.

The truth is I am actually a lot more comfortable with myself today, but I do worry sometimes that if I keep going this way I will lose my masculinity all together.

Then I realized that we are only labeling ourselves to conform to societal rules. It is still tough though, thinking that you are inferior because your not the masculine type.

Have you guys ever thought about this? What do you think about your masculinity. Do you think you ve become to feminine?

sometimes i question myself if I ve become to girly. Anyways I think this may be an issue others have as well and would like to hear your thoughts on it.

[Matty71]

Alright, so I was thinking lately of how afraid I was for the longest time that I would lose my masculinity....

You see growing up I tended to like a lot of things girls like, for example the spice girls, playing with barbies with my sisters etc.. as I grew more aware of gender roles I hid what I liked.

I wonder if it is the same thing for anyone else here? Were you guys afraid of being less masculine and avoiding things that you liked doing, listening to etc...

I recently came across a hunk on a dating website and thought omg, he would never go for me i m not masculine enough.

The truth is I am actually a lot more comfortable with myself today, but I do worry sometimes that if I keep going this way I will lose my masculinity all together.

Then I realized that we are only labeling ourselves to conform to societal rules. It is still tough though, thinking that you are inferior because your not the masculine type.

Have you guys ever thought about this? What do you think about your masculinity. Do you think you ve become to feminine?

sometimes i question myself if I ve become to girly. Anyways I think this may be an issue others have as well and would like to hear your thoughts on it.

Hi.

Well, I am not the exactly the most masculine man around. I never have been.

Growing up I shunned masculine things such as sports. I never fit into that.

I was always called "gay" growing up and got used to it. Then I dated girls for awhile and "proved" I wasn't gay. That made me feel better in my teens.

Now, I am older, not attracted to women, and dealing with my true sexuality.

I am not really feminine, but I have feminine qualities that I am comfortable with.

I would probably never attract a hard-core, masculine gay man.

I grew up in the Goth scene of the 80's and will always be mostly attracted to somewhat artistic, sensitive men.

[Sylph]

Yup, I lost mine and good riddance, best thing that could've ever happened to me...

Rather than posting my normal lengthy responses on issues such as these, I shall amend to this adequate statement;

Who Cares?

Love yourself, be yourself and live like yourself. All this changing to meet requirements can kiss my proud girly ass, on each cheek respectively!

[pellaz]

I came out when I was 40+ so my husband thinks I am not gay enough. He on the other hand felt he was gay like at age 6.

We fit together, not all relationships are based on couples liking the same things but rather what an individual brings to the table so the couple adds up to more than just 2.0

[NayNay]

Hi.

Well, I am not the exactly the most masculine man around. I never have been.

Growing up I shunned masculine things such as sports. I never fit into that.

I was always called "gay" growing up and got used to it. Then I dated girls for awhile and "proved" I wasn't gay. That made me feel better in my teens.

Now, I am older, not attracted to women, and dealing with my true sexuality.

I am not really feminine, but I have feminine qualities that I am comfortable with.

I would probably never attract a hard-core, masculine gay man.

I grew up in the Goth scene of the 80's and will always be mostly attracted to somewhat artistic, sensitive men.

ah cool, that makes sense.

I think I was attracted to my ex mostly because there were qualities in him I wanted in myself. More feminine qualities.

I do like watching sports and keeping track of my favorite hockey team, I am no hardcore fan though. Just a casual watcher.

I probably would not be attracted to a hard-core masculine guy either, dont have enough in common lol.

[Matty71]

ah cool, that makes sense.

I think I was attracted to my ex mostly because there were qualities in him I wanted in myself. More feminine qualities.

I do like watching sports and keeping track of my favorite hockey team, I am no hardcore fan though. Just a casual watcher.

I probably would not be attracted to a hard-core masculine guy either, dont have enough in common lol.

Interestingly, I like Hockey. I do not really watch it but I kind of find it the most fascinating of all team sports. The men playing are very tough!

Back in the day when I used to smoke pot, I would smoke and watch it. (I no longer smoke pot or do any drugs).

[MisterTinkles]

Ive always had stuffed animals.....more than any "boy" should.

I have always played with dolls....well, with the girl across the street.

Ive always liked pretty flowing things.

When I got out on my own, I did what I wanted to do.

Thing is, even growing up in "red neck" country here in Texas, nobody ever said a word about what I liked, who I played with, the colors I liked, or anything like that. I was never treated or acknowledged any different than anyone else while I was growing up.

Now that I am a grown man, I am who I am and to hell with anybody who doesnt like it.

I collect Garfield, Wonder Woman and high end Barbies.....when I can afford them.

I can change the brake pads on my truck, as well as the oil and transmission fluid.
I can also dress in drag and have everybody fawning over me.

I act like I want to act. Not how I am "supposed" to act.
Some days Im THE QUEEN. Some days Im a wallflower.
Some days Im big daddy.

[Kenny221]

No, I wasn't because I believed that's just a part of me. That masculinity is part of who I am, so why would I lose it? Yeah, growing up, I wasn't the biggest fan with sports or cars but I never saw that as a lack of masculinity. I just saw that as not who I am. I'm not into sports or cars but that's just me. Yeah, I'm more in tune with my feelings and I'm more sensitive when it comes to other people's emotions but I don't see that as a lack of masculinity. That's just me. You can't 'lose' you're masculinity or become 'feminine' because those two things aren't items. You can't just say 'I don't want it' or 'I want it' and suddenly become those qualities. It's part of who you are, regardless what others say.

Yeah, I'm gay. Yeah, I act masculine.Yes,I love video games. No, I'm not into cars or sports. Yes, I like chick flicks. Yes, I'm quite content of being who I am and I'm quite comfortable with it. This is me , no stereotypes, no labels, just me. Good Ol' Kenny

[Miles]

Subconscious fear of stepping out of gender roles for me. Slightly more conscious fear of stepping out of line with my own typical behavior, which is taciturn and not usually feminine. I have no fear of femininity or loss of masculinity outside of those spheres. In many ways I fail the manliness test - don't care a lick about sports or cars or guns, not keen on engaging in typical alpha male pissing contests, etc.

Like tinkles I had a lot of stuffed animals. As a kid I'm sure I'd have preferred to have a tea party with some girls and dolls than shooting hoops with the boys.

I actually like Stranger's distinction. Liking sports/guns/cars isn't masculinity. They just sometimes come with the territory. I've met plenty of girls who know infinitely more about those things than me.

[SolemnBoy]

Not really but then again I my behaviour was never really stereotypically masculine or feminine