Love, love, love, love, love...

[XRIMO]

Oh, it unites... but does it really exist?

More of a philosophical question. I always wonder about love. We say it to many people, sometimes with more affection to certain somebodies, but do we really feel it? Where does love end and lust begin... is there a seperation between lust and love?

Is love nothing more than a biological response to mate and reproduce... or is it something deeper? After all, human beings minds have developed beyond any other organism... perhaps are minds fool us into emotion where really we are acting on base instinct.

In the media, we get many different interpretations of love. From overly sentimental views that it is the strongest force in the universe to the pure act of intercourse... is the concept of love contaminated by the media's portrayal?

What about religion's portrayal of love... many faiths preach about love, but it seems few know how to actually feel love. Instead, many religions breed hatred and segegration among us, when we are all merely cellular orginisms inhabiting the planet. Why does the love in religion seem so distant? Why must one faith that preaches love fight another faith that preaches love?

Why are the negative emotions so much easier to feel than the positive ones? It seems that many people reach for the negative emotion (for themselves) than the positive one. However, they will treat someone else's plight with sympathy, while still holding onto their own negativity about their own situation. Is it possible to feel love without emotional support from someone?

Anyway, I'm just having a philosophical moment here.
Discuss, disagree, or contemplate what I have said.

[Personal]

It can be hard to realize what love is when you assume it’s something that it’s not. In some situations, I feel like I should say “I love you” because that’s what’s expected of me, even though I don’t feel any sort of enlightenment from someone, and this is what can delude my thoughts of what love is.

In many cases, it comes to my attention that our society is expected to “love” something or someone that we get lost in the “game” of loving that something or someone that we forget to see how we really feel. Our society is so used to identifying with a “role model” (a Famous person, Religion, Character from a story, etc...) to figure out how we should act or feel.

This is more likely a separate discussion than it is an extension of your initial post, but I’m in a philosophical mood and thought I’d share the view

[RoydonLeeJ]

Personally love to me is only that between family and friends. Also the kind of love for nature and the world around us. I don't think I feel love for a single person. I simply don't believe that love is so important in a relationship.
Perhaps it's my age, but love isn't what i would want, not now, not at the moment, and i can't see me wanting it in the near future. People think I'm heartless when I tell them this, but I feel that love wouldn't even exist without sexual feeling and attraction, basically I agree that perhpas love isn't at all love, but simply an instinct.

[JohnnyB]

Just wanted to comment on what you said bout how we experince negative emotions. Its thought that we are born optimistic and then for some of us we end up acquiring pessimism (I can't spell that word).

Anyway, as for love... What is love anyway? The only love that I know is the love that is in the media which you rightly stated. And lets face it... The way movies portray love these days it can't be anything like that in real life, can it???

[princealbertofb]

Just wanted to comment on what you said bout how we experince negative emotions. Its thought that we are born optimistic and then for some of us we end up acquiring pessimism (I can't spell that word).

Anyway, as for love... What is love anyway? The only love that I know is the love that is in the media which you rightly stated. And lets face it... The way movies portray love these days it can't be anything like that in real life, can it???

Well how would you say love is portrayed in the media? I've seen so many films and series and other things and it seems to me that love is depicted in so many different ways. I don't think there is just ONE way that it can be shown or illustrated, or even felt. But I'd be interested in having your definition of how it's depicted in the media.

[fjp999]

I love being in love - it can be the highest of highs and the lowest of lows but never middle of the road.

[Shadow]

Hey babe,

Hokay ... my take on love ... wowzers - I could write you a book ...

First off, I think that mentally I make a distinction between three types of love :-

1) Love for an object or pastime
2) Love for a living creature
3) The state of being IN love with somebody

I totally separate love from lust in my mind.

1) Love for an object or pastime

I love tea. Don't you ? I love cream cakes and the rain and driving my car and listening to music and stretching when I'm comfortable ...

... but these are either material things (like my love for dunking Rich Tea biscuits), or pastimes (like driving my car), so in this sense my use of the term "love" is really just a quicker way of saying "really do enjoy" - it's one of the little pleasures that life has to offer, which I cling to as it gives me a measure of pleasure.

2) Love for a living creature

I loved my late dog. I loved my late Grandfathers (both of 'em), and my Grandma. I love each and every one of my friends, and I love my best mate's little brother's dog Zido.

Love for a living creature is a perfectly natural state of being, in which you hold them dear to you - they are precious to you, and you develop an emotional attachment to them that transcends (in my eyes) your attachment to something physical.

As much as I love Rich Tea biscuits, I'd stamp them into little pieces if it meant Zido didn't get hit by a bus for example ...

((( silly comparisons but I'm just illustrating the levels of "love" that my mind perceives )))

I think having love in your heart for people is what motivates you to do things that are generous, or spontaneous - it's what makes you hold that door open for that perfect stranger, or stop to help an elderly lady cross the street ... it's not love for them individually - it's love for life in general.

3) The state of being IN love with somebody

This is the most poweful and exclusive form of love, where your attentions, affections and obssessions are focused from being a broadly-painted canvas down into a single stroke of the brush. You fixate on one person (or, for some, more than one person but it's always a small number), to the exclusion of the majority of others.

Your feelings towards this person are strong and it is in THIS type of "love" that you experience your greatest levels of physical attraction.

I love my mum, but I'm not in love with my mum ...

Sometimes people fail (in my eyes) to make the very valid distinction between loving somebody and being in love with somebody, and that's a BIG step to take ...

The state of being in love with somebody is, for me, quite easy to tell once you're there, but hard to gauge sometimes when you're en route to it ... it's that feeling of painful loss when they aren't around ... the longing for them to return ... the deep, burning desire to just feel their caress ... smiling like you've just won a prize simply because they've smiled at you ... THAT'S what being in love is about.

I completely separate love from lust because lust (widely recognised as a sin) is (again, to my mind) the passionate drive to attain a state or position or thing, to the exclusion of reason and sense, logic and pragmatism.

LUST is that point just before you hit an orgasm when absolutely NOTHING in the ENTIRE WORLD means ANYTHING to you at the side of entering the orgasmic state of bliss ... it's like riding the crest of a wave to completion ...

Lust is my favourite sin, because it's so powerful and so consuming - it is purely selfish, and leads us astray - to conquer lust you would have to be VERY controlled ... moreso than I, and I pride myself on being in control of myself :redface:.

I think the problem with these distinctions (not mine, which are firmly set in my mind) is that many people find it convenient to substitute words ...

... how could you say lust is different from passion ? We say people have a "lust for life" don't we ? But to my mind that's a misused phrase ...

... so yes, I am a firm believer in love - I'm one of those "overly sentimental" people you described in your original post mile:, who believes that NOTHING in life is more powerful than love.

Love can cause you to take a bullet for somebody, or throw yourself into the path of complete ruination on any number of levels simply to try and protect the one/s you love ... to my mind lust has nothing to do with that - you wouldn't chuck yourself in front of a bus because you fancied the arse off the person you were saving - it would have to be a deeper connection than that in my mind - you'd have to love them, or be in love with them.

As for the media ?

I think that the media (if we're just talking about movies and songs basically) flourish by presenting us with aspects of things we consider on our own, often in different contexts ... things like a "Hollywood Kiss" are offered to us for our consideration as being iconic moments of love between two people ... but they're acted-out to play upon our emotions and ideals with a view to our identifying with them as being such.

So I think that often the media gives you something that's carefully-scripted so as to play upon your feelings and desires, and whilst this is acceptable, oftentimes it does not mirror the realities of life, as it's just a pre-fabricated on-screen scenario, where all the variables and factors are controllable ... and as we all know, life isn't like that.

Finally, as for religion ?

I think that religion, contrary to media (which offers you scraps to consider) functions through doctrine ... in order to commit to a religion, you have to accept its teachings and rules, and therein comes the trade-off, insofar as you are trading-in your freedom to choose and to decide for yourself, in exchange for which you are given a firm framework within which to operate, and the greater "love" (and I use the term loosely) of the religious collective to which you have signed-up.

I think that whilst many religions purport to promote love, they do so with an agenda, and so what you get with hardcore religions is "we promote THIS type of love" or "THAT type of love is strictly forbidden (for xyz reason)".

The thing about love is that it is (to use a visual example) to my mind like a river. Love as an emotion doesn't stop to consider the ramifications, nor does it take kindly to attempts to alter its course or to stem its flow - it pours forth from the purest of sources (your soul), and ebbs and flows into every nook and cranny of your life, affecting your judgment, your reason, your decisions, your objectives, your goals ...

Love is, to my mind, the most powerful emotion we know, and the more powerful force in the world.

... and if you're still awake after reading all that ? Thank you .

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[JohnnyB]

Well how would you say love is portrayed in the media? I've seen so many films and series and other things and it seems to me that love is depicted in so many different ways. I don't think there is just ONE way that it can be shown or illustrated, or even felt. But I'd be interested in having your definition of how it's depicted in the media.

Hey, thanks for your reply. It seems to me that films, series etc portray love as all a bit too perfect with a happy ever after (most of the time anyway). Yes I agree that love is shown im many different ways. I mean there can't be just one kind of love, there must be all sorts. In my experience I found that it kinda boosts your expectations a bit. So I found that the way to love is a rocky path.

P.S. Please don't think I am making myself out to be an expert. Its just my perspective.

[marshlander]

Hey, thanks for your reply. It seems to me that films, series etc portray love as all a bit too perfect with a happy ever after (most of the time anyway). Yes I agree that love is shown im many different ways. I mean there can't be just one kind of love, there must be all sorts. In my experience I found that it kinda boosts your expectations a bit. So I found that the way to love is a rocky path.

P.S. Please don't think I am making myself out to be an expert. Its just my perspective.

I guess that depends on what films you watch. I acknowledge that many of us watch films to escape reality, not reinforce it. I suppose there may well be a majority of films that resolve in a simplistic happy-ever-after way, but there are some very dark films out there which absolutely do not go this route. Besides which, how much reality can one incorporate into a 90-180 minute film before it becomes unwatchably confusing? Films by their very nature have to simplify the plots to allow the viewer a pathway through.

In terms of perspective, one can always try moving back for a broader view. If I only buy my food from a chip shop, will I ever know how much delicious, nutritious food I'm missing?

[princealbertofb]

Hey babe,
...
... and if you're still awake after reading all that ? Thank you .

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

I've managed to read it all.. Interesting way of looking at things.