When i was 9 this girl used to make me have sex with her and give her oral sex, it really messed me up, i remember crying hysterically and thinking i was screwed up.
6 years later i overheard some people mention her name, they said her father had been prostituting her, she used to tell me to run away with her, i was on the back of her bike when we crashed and she had blood coming out of her eyes. She was in wheelchair then and we moved areas.
Im not bi, theres nothing there.
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But I remember getting turned on by that description of a woman's b00bs. That's what bothers me.
Is it possible to have one heterosexual experience that you enjoyed and still be gay?
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I have cyclical OCD. Sometimes, it's fine and managable. But other times it gets out of control and leads to severe anxiety. I am just so worried about losing my identity and having to identify as bi, which I do not feel is right for me. And I feel like this is about to get out of control. I think I might need help but sometimes it just passes, other times it snowballs until I am practically insane.
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You may feel physically attracted to a woman, afterall some of them are beautifull creatures, they were designed like that so we would be attracted to them and reproduce. but maybe you feel you understand them too well and can associate too well on some level but dot think yourself a woman in a man's body, thats a crock of shit, you are a boy, Gay or straight and we are great! lol.
Why dont you forget your sexuality for a bit.
Just thinking aloud.
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Also, when I was in 2nd grade I had a women's leather boot fetish and in 5th grade I used to look at boobs a lot, although they didn't turn me on
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I tend to agree with Tavi. Why don't you turn it off for a while. Go and get some exercise or watch a movie or something. You may be gay but you don't have to be gay 24/7.
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I think it is possible to have hetero experiences and enjoy them and still be gay. I always knew I was gay but it didn't prevent me from enjoying four years with my girlfriend (at the time). Sex was good, the relationship was good, but when we broke up (still friends) for reasons that had nothing to do with how we got on together, I decided I'd never fool another woman, because it wouldn't be fair. So yes, you can be gay and yet enjoy straight sex.
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You also have to remember that part of our libido (probably most of it) is culture born-e. In some countries, they might find less flesh very erotic, and in some others, being naked is quite a natural state, so flesh requires more than just nudity to become erotic... We are geared, since our childhood to learn to like women's bodies, if we are men. Society and the media (advertising in particular) tell us continually how to react. We are partly influenced by all this.
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