Where should I live?

[Charlieboi81]

Hello all. I haven't posted anything in a while but now I have a dillema and would like to get your opinion. Here is the problem:

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years. For the last two years we have been living with my parents. This was mainly out of necessity and has caused a terrible strain in our relationship. A few months ago an opportunity arose for us to move out together. We planned on moving to a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom duplex that is located 5 minutes away from both our jobs. The rent is $1,200 a month. We patiently waited until the tenant would move out so that we could move in. Aside from its location, we wanted to move there because it was the only place where we could live with our pug Gena. Sadly, two weeks ago Gena died. It was unexpected and very painful for the both of us. Gena was our daughter and we miss her terribly. I suggested that we spend time at my grandfather's apartment in Miami Beach to get away and have time to heal. Everything at home reminded us of her.

Now, my boyfriend wants to move to the apartment on the beach. My grandfather is in a home and the apartment has been empty since January. It is a 1 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment with a beautiful view of the beach. It is located 20 miles/30 minutes away from work. The maintenance and assessment fees are $1600 a month (although in January 2010 it will go down to $600 a month). Its located in what is known as the "Millionaire's Row" on Collins Avenue. The reason we never considered moving there before is because the building does not allow pets. Another issue is that my boyfriend does not drive and I told him that if we move to the beach we would have to buy a second car (rent another parking space) and he would have to learn to drive on the highway.

The main problem is that in the not-to-distant future, I would like to adopt another pet. I know I can never replace Gena, but I feel like I have a lot of love to give a little furry pet. My boyfriend has said that he does not want another pet. Gena's death has been very painful for him and he does not want to experience that pain again.

Please let me know what you think. Your opinion will be valued greatly.

Charlie

[fjp999]

Sorry to hear about the passing of Gena.

It seems the death of your pet has become such an emotional issue that time is needed before you both can think clearly on what you want to do about moving.

Give the issue some time if possible.

I dont drive and would find it difficult to learn now. This may be a real problem for your BF. Is the first apartment available now? If not then moving to your grandfathers place while waiting for the apt may be best.

good luck.

[Dan1089]

It seems to me that you both haven't truly dealt with the passing of Gena.The first option seems spacious and much more economic than the apartment.Believe me,having an extra bedroom does a world of difference.Firstly decide on whether you're both willing to get a new pet or not as this essentially determines your living situation.Best wishes,buddy.

[wouldlikemuscle]

I would agree that you need some time to allow yourselves to get over the loss (for want of a better phrase) of Gena.

I know when my dog died, we (Mum, Nan and I) said we'd never get anymore pets, but just a few months later, we got 3 kittens, about a year after another one joined us and another few years later, we're up to 5 cats.

The pain of the loss of a pet is quite hard, but by moving into the non-pet household, then you are not left with an option anymore whether or not your bf changes his mind.

[marshlander]

My only observation would be that wherever you and your boyfriend are living together, you would do better to be in agreement before you add to the family.

[Charlieboi81]

Thanks to all of you for your input. I agree with you all. We definitly need to be in agreement and we just can't seem to reach a conclusion. He says he doesn't want anymore dogs. Making things worse is the fact that we have to decide by the end of this week or the house will go up for rent.

Oh well. I'll let you know what we decide. Thanks!