Was I right about my BF's rings?

[LateBloomer]

Quick history:

My BF has had 2 serious past relationships. He kept the rings that he bought for both after the relationships ended. He spent a total of $600 on 2 sets of rings.

We are getting pretty serious. We live together. We have talked about exchanging rings at this point. But I told him I'd like him to get rid of the rings from his ex's first.

He tried to sell the rings at first, but couldn't get an offer more than $75 or so. So he decided to keep them. Our friends all agreed he should get rid of the rings.

Recently the subject came up again. We both held our ground, but eventually he gave me the rings to sell.

Now, a couple weeks later, although he's given me NO reason to feel bad, I do feel a little guilty. I still don't want the rings in our house, especially if we end up exchanging rings ourselves.

But my question is, now what do I do with the rings and the money I make from selling them?

Thanks for voting/commenting.

[Vigilias]

They're his rings so I suppose you should return the money from their sale to him.

[Matty71]

Quick history:

My BF has had 2 serious past relationships. He kept the rings that he bought for both after the relationships ended. He spent a total of $600 on 2 sets of rings.

We are getting pretty serious. We live together. We have talked about exchanging rings at this point. But I told him I'd like him to get rid of the rings from his ex's first.

He tried to sell the rings at first, but couldn't get an offer more than $75 or so. So he decided to keep them. Our friends all agreed he should get rid of the rings.

Recently the subject came up again. We both held our ground, but eventually he gave me the rings to sell.

Now, a couple weeks later, although he's given me NO reason to feel bad, I do feel a little guilty. I still don't want the rings in our house, especially if we end up exchanging rings ourselves.

But my question is, now what do I do with the rings and the money I make from selling them?

Thanks for voting/commenting.

I agree with how you feel. Get rid of those rings!

I was married before. When that relationship ended I took my wedding ring and threw it into the woods. I did not need any kind of reminder of that relationship.

Get rid of the rings in any way both of you seem fit to. Why keep them?

[southbiochem]

Sell them and you can both use the money on something for the two of you! Although it'll be probably nothing too wonderful depending on how much you get back...

[BobInTampa]

I'm with Pellaz, since he's NOT wearing those rings, it's YOU who is bothered by their presence.

Give the rings back to him and LET THE ISSUE GO!!!!!!!!

That said, i would also hold off exchanging rings with him for a WHILE! Why? Well, he sounds to me like someone who needs rings to "lockup" a relationship. They are a sign of committment and it sounds to me like he NEEDS the rings to solidify his relationships. Now he has 2 sets of rings from 2 prior LTRs and NOW he wants to exchange rings with you. Sounds to me like you both need to talk A LOT about what it means to be in a committed LTR - WITHOUT RINGS!

[Jake]

ahhhh the rings, this little metallic thing that suppose to tell others that you are engaged or taken, that little thing that one spend his life saving to show one he/she loves... wait what's a ring? It's a "thing" it's a symbol of union, if the union is gone so should be the rings. I ring doesn't define love, love defines love. I agree with Pellaz here, just forget about those things and focus on your relationships. It seems to be as BobInTempa said so well that his patterns is to lock his relationship with a ring... it seems that the rings for his previous relationship did not closed much of a relationship and he wants to reiterate the same patterns with you. Don't you guys think it's time to use a new symbol for your union. He did it with two previous boyfriends and he's repeating it with you again... be an agent of change and find something more original to lock your relationship.

I have married my dude last year and we did exchange rings too, but if you take a good look on my left hand and his... none of us are wearing them... first because 24k of gold is very fragile and gets damage quickly. Second I don't need a ring to show my husband that I love him, every little things I do for him and every little things he does for me on a daily basis is our love contract. The rings are well locked in a safe with our wills, our wedding contracts, my children's birth certificates. Those will be use in due time and the ring will either be buried with us if we go that far or they will be discarded if and when we divorce (so far we had no plans on doing so, therefore they'll stay where they are.)

Rings that cost $600 and that have been wore doesn't worth more than $120, a pawnshop will steal from you as they don't give a rat ass how much you paid for them and they do not share the feelings your boyfriends has for the rings. A jeweler can go up to $150 for both and will certainly not gives more. Might you two take the money for those rings and the two rings you were planning on purchasing and pay yourself a wonderful long lasting souvenir trip to the destination of your choice. Pampers yourself... leave those idiotic symbols where they belongs, the ancient mythology; and welcome to the new world where couples loves each other without the need of spending $600 or more for a useless "thing" that will again say nothing less than hey baby I spent $600 on a metallic band for you. If you guys aren't getting married, the rings means pretty much nothing.

[Pix]

I can understand why he keeps them. It's not about hoping for a "reunion" but about the memories, when he touches them he can feel wistful and remember good times...and that doesn't mean he's not happy where he's at, it's just a memento, a souvenir, something that represented a very powerful love. I know when I pour my heart into something (even if it's just baking cookies) I can't stand the thought of throwing it away, it's like throwing a piece of myself away and saying my love is worthless.

I remember past loves fondly (most of the time) but that doesn't mean I want to leave the one I'm with, the one I'm currently invested in. And I'd hope people could remember the good of their past loves as well, hopefully to wish them well (assuming they're not sociopaths or something) even after parting. The people I get nervous about are those with the philosophy of "if you're not doing anything for me now then you're dead to me" (or even worse, a habit of grudges and blame) as that tells me some bad things about his/her character, at least to me. Someone mature and compassionate enough to wish someone well after they're gone says good things, and I don't begrudge them for wanting to remember something special they had, as long as they don't forget what they have that's special NOW.

[MisterTinkles]

Have them melted down into something special just for you.

If you dont want to do that, you can try to sell them on Ebay.

I can tell you from experience, cause I used to work in the jewelry biz......diamonds and "precious metals" are not precious at all. In fact they are EXTREMELY cheap.

You can buy a handful of uncut diamonds for about $100.

The markup on jewelry is astronomical....usually anywhere from 55% to 90% (and thats the retail markup price from the marked up prices from the vendors they buy from). And up to 3,000% for "specialty" items and custom made items. So when you are offered $75 for one ring, then I would take it. Because the metal isnt even worth that much.

Just to give you an idea of the markup......when I was working at this jewelry company, I asked our vendor how much it would cost them to make me a special ring. I gave him the info and he told me it would cost me $1200. I asked him how much this would retail for in our stores, and he said about $7,000.

You might also check these online companies that buy old jewelry and melt it down. Ive heard they pay good prices, but dont know what a "good price" is, since that is all subject-able.

[James]

Or as I did give them to a couple that doesn't have the money to buy rings, giving them the hopes and dreams that you once had, James

[LateBloomer]

Or as I did give them to a couple that doesn't have the money to buy rings, giving them the hopes and dreams that you once had, James

That's beautiful.
I'll mention it.