Healthy places to meet people?

[starbelly]

I feel like I'm actually coming into my own right now after a long bout with depression that I've dealt with for years. I still have my downer moments, but I've been through some traumatic and near-death experiences the past couple of years and currently am beginning to feel comfortable with myself— my confidence seems to slowly be on the uphill, and I'm comfortable at the moment with just being myself. I feel mentally, as well as physically, healthier than I have in a long time.

And, since I'm feeling that way for maybe the first time in my life, I'd kind of like pointers on where/how to start meeting people. I think I'm ready for it, and if I'm not entirely, I'm at least close to ready.

I'm not really into the club scene or mixer crap, and I tend to find the meatmarket mentality of bars to be a bit disgusting. I'm not a hookup kind of person, so one-night-stands and the like simply aren't going to happen. I want actual connections with people. I go to school at a large university downtown (the largest one in my state, actually), so I feel like that might be a good place to start, but I'm not sure where to look or how to look since I've never done this sort of thing before— seeking mutual interest from a guy, romance, flirting, and everything else that comes with that is totally foreign to me, so I need some advice or at least some pointing in the right direction.

I've pretty much longed for romance and intimacy with someone ever since I saw Leonardo DiCaprio onscreen when I was six years old (HAH), and I think I'm finally ready to actually put my best foot forward and meet people, even if they aren't potential partners. I know that relationships often start in the most roundabout and odd ways, but I'd like to increase my chances of running into someone I really connect with.

So, that said, what would you say is a proper fit for me to go about this? Should I join a club at school? I just don't know where/how to look for what I'm looking for in someone. It seems to come easily for a lot of my friends, but I've got a much different mentality than most of them and very different interests, so what's worked for them isn't necessarily going to happen with me. It's hard being gay and trying to find others like you in the day-to-day because you don't always know who is gay and who isn't, so I figure that an event or something geared toward the gay community would be the best bet, although, again, I don't want it be something that's like a meat market.

Where should I start with this? My classes at school begin in a month, so I'm going to be in the center of the city all the time, but so far doing the things I've done hasn't brought me across any sort of princes (and no, I'm not literally expecting prince charming, but you know what I mean).

[Pix]

I'd think a GSA club (and other gay community centers) would be a good place to start, though tread carefully with university students, many are just experimenting and hooking up (some say they don't have time for their studies AND a relationship, especially if they have to work a job as well, so they're just killing time being with someone rather than serious). At the very least maybe they can introduce you to someone or get you into the community where you can have a better idea.

But yeah, avoid places where people meet up for love and sex, it sounds like a major meat market to me.

And VERY IMPORTANT: do NOT wait for someone you like to come to you like some passive flower waiting for the "right bee" to come along! If you do that then you'll almost certainly get the players who are playing you while those who are more real will think you're not interested. Keep your eyes open both for interest that is restrained or low key and for being played by someone showing obvious interest and do some selective shopping of your own (and nothing says you have to be aggressive about it).