Not sure what to do!

[archubbycub]

So here's the situation, my good friend told my boyfriend and I something in confidence. Well I just found out that my boyfriend told someone else the secret and my friend found out. Now my friend is pissed at my boyfriend because there is a good chance that this secret could get back to the wrong person and my friend could get into trouble over it. And I'm stuck in the middle of all of this and have no idea what I should do!

[justbry87]

I think that is your friend and you boyfriend's problem.

..your friend and your boyfriend should be the ones that
should talk it out and you shouldn't get involved in it even
though it's hard not to.

but just my two cents..

I hope it works itself out in the end. Good luck!

[archubbycub]

I think that is your friend and you boyfriend's problem.

..your friend and your boyfriend should be the ones that
should talk it out and you shouldn't get involved in it even
though it's hard not to.

but just my two cents..

I hope it works itself out in the end. Good luck!

I wish it were that easy, but they both keep texting me and dragging me into it. And to make matters worse, I'm at work and can't really do anything about the situation right now! God I hate drama!!

[archubbycub]

couples counseling is in order here. at the age of 36 this should not be a problem but gossip is bad. your house hold should function as a unit:
-never bring up your house hold garbage to the out side
-what you know should be common knowledge between you & your partner, no secrets.
-depending on the reliability of the relationship; at the end of the day partners should talk about your work, lunch, visit to the dentist so everyone is on the same page.

Sorry but I don't see where couples counseling is needed in this situation. My BF told something he shouldn't have that could get our mutual friend in trouble and I'm being pulled from both sides because our mutual friend is pissed and texting me complaining.

[princealbertofb]

I wish it were that easy, but they both keep texting me and dragging me into it. And to make matters worse, I'm at work and can't really do anything about the situation right now! God I hate drama!!

Now that the cat's out of the bag, there's very little that you can do except maybe tell the recipient of the secret (the person your boyfriend told) to be more discreet than your boyfriend was. If it can be stopped there, then good. One person was indiscreet, but it really is out of your hands, unless you can stop the flow somewhere along the grapevine line.

I would also suggest you tell boyfriend and friend that you hate drama, and are no longer going to get involved. It's all a bit pointless if you have no way of putting things right.

In the end what is really at stake if the indiscretion comes out in the open and is told to the wrong person? Someone won't have been totally honest with the latter, but it'll have come out. What's the friend's interest in keeping that person in the dark concerning this indiscretion? Work out if it's really really going to spoil a relationship that was worth upholding in the first place.

Similarly people who start treating you differently once you've come out and start dissing you never deserved to be your friends in the first place. Honestly makes place for clarity. I'll understand if this is potentially going to cost your friend his job, for instance, but then there must be something in his job that he doesn't like, and therefore he might be better off looking for something else to do, something that makes him happier. Maybe there's a way your friend can address the problem with his boss before he hears the 'nasty gossip'?

[davearoo]

justbry is correct: stay out of it. This is something your BF and other friend have to handle.

[matty7]

just ask your bf to apologies to this friend - he made a judgment error, cant deny that...just hope your friend can accept......its a mistake and we all make them - just dont expect been told anything again in confidence even though you were not at fault yourself buddy

[AbelD]

Your friend shouldn't blame you! Tell him not to say any secret to your boyfriend anymore... And you should ask to your boyfriend why he said the secret

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Clearly you ain't beating your BF enough to keep him from spreading gossip.

Seriously, this isn't 'your' problem. This is between the BF and the Friend.

While you are part of an Us, you are not the only brain in the us - and unless you are keeping your BF in line with switches, fists or some other form of coercion.

So maybe I am seriously about the beatings.....

However I would strongly suggest you step back and give your BF a good looking over. What motivated him to tell tales out of school? Is this normal behavior for him? Can YOU trust him with things about yourself?

As for your friend apologize for having an ass for a BF, but remind the friend he is your ass.... Maybe offer to beat him? Maybe the friend will find that agreeable?

[archubbycub]

Thanks guys. My BF did apologize to my friend and they are working it out. As far as why he told the secret, he said it was because he thought he was helping the person he told out. It has to do with her boyfriend and a concern she has about him. He called her and asked her not to reveal the secret to her boyfriend or anyone for that matter and she said she wouldn't. So now we can only hope that it all ends there. Don't know if our mutual friend (who told us the secret) will ever "get over" this or not, but hopefully he will. Only time will tell I guess.