Okey. I was nice enough, time for real talk Stud.
If he was ya real best friend for better or worse, then you should be able to say, "hey look, I'm gay, does that make you uncomfortable?"
Either he says yes or no and you move on with your life. From what you say, this boy should at least be willing to still be your friend, but if not, oh well fuck'em.
Serious though, he isn't the only person that will enter your life, he won't be the last to leave it and he won't be the only person you will have feelings for.
Real friends ride with their friends for better or worse, fake friends snap off like branches and to those friends, you just gotta move on. No matter how close you guys thought you was or whatever, point is, they want out, let them go.
I really do wish he says yes to your proposal at being potential boyfriends, but really, being friends should be enough. But you can't make him be either if he can't or won't accept you. Fuck'em.
You have a long road ahead of you of people who won't like or accept you, trust me I definitely know, but you have to respect their feelings and move on. Sure you will be hurt, but you have to be strong, being sad and all that is normal, but don't sit in that space.
And as for being a "Stud" or whatever in Highschool, tell all them niggas to go get a life. Like who even does that in school anymore? Even my school, plenty of guys, including myself were outwardly feminine and nothing beyond some slight insults happened to us. And we have a more Homophobic culture than America.
And even still, you can't let titles and standards completely rule your life. Your Gay? You wanna play football? Then you Do what you love to do and fuck all the haters and ignorance.
People will talk about you till the day you die, whether to your face or behind your back, no matter what you do, so the sooner you get over it, the better off you will be.
And don't think I'm saying this cause I am this way already and that it's "easy". No, I know it's hard and I know what it takes, which is exactly why I am telling you, because when you do get more comfortable in your skin and who you are, you will understand and will be happier for it.
Nothing in life is easy. It's "easy for us to say", because we had to fight and struggle for it to be so and that by no means is easy.
You need to be the Stud you claim you are and take control of your life dear. You determine your own life, the good and the bad and need to take responsibility for your actions and their outcomes.
May be a little harsh, but I had to hit you with the real.
You constantly asking how or why or moping is not gonna get the ball rolling(or tossed in American football). You've been given loads of advice, now you need to do what has to be done. No ifs ands or buts sir.
My best friene
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