My coursemate is very hateful towards me and that hurts me.

[Anonymous]

I won't reveal my name, but I hope it won't cause any problems.

So I'm a young gay guy, I'm a student and I'm having hard situation at my university. There is a homophobic guy in my course who's very hostile towards gay people and especially towards me. We've never been friends, but once he found out I'm gay, he's treating me as if I was some kind of a pest or something. He has never called me by my name, for him I'm fa_got, sissy, queer and so on. He laughs about me every time he can. Once I came to the class with a new T-shirt on and suddenly he asked loudly "didn't they have it in rainbow colors for our little mr I-love-it-in-the-ass?" Of course, most of the students were laughing. He has a small group of guys that he hangs out with and they also laugh about me, but they only do it when he starts it. When he's not present, no one offends me.

Some time ago we had some small holiday in university and I was talking with some girls about how to spend it and where to go, what to do and he was passing by and he obviously heard our conversation and he was like "go to Iraq, they'll hang you like a dog in there and they'll be right."
I usually hang out with girls mostly, because we get on very well and they also defend me against his attacks. Girls like gay guys for some reason, I guess, and he also hates me for that. He says he doesn't understand what do girls find in such an assclowns like me.

Every day he talks with his friends how much he hates gays, every day he's like "f*cking fags, you should all be shot dead" and he's looking right at me when saying things like that. He has never attacked me physically, although sometimes he hits me with his bag when passing by or pushes me, as if accidentally and then he's like "oh sorry, did you get a boo boo?" and guys are laughing again.

I don't understand what have I done to make him hate me so much. I would like to pull him aside and talk to him when no one else is around, but he's almost never alone and I'm also actually scared to approach him. Why is he treating me like that? He doesn't even know me. I don't know him as well, and he's not the first person that had made homophobic remarks towards me, but for some reason his words hurt me very much.

What should I do?

P.S. He's handsome, what maybe makes this problem even bigger. I know I wouldn't care so much if he would be ugly.

[Woollyhats]

Go to school authorities with witnesses and press for threats/harassment charges, brutally beat him, or ignoring it seem to be your options. OH, and moving schools, but that's probably not practical.

Personally, my college guarantees a safe environment for everyone, and they would take significant action, including police involvement and dismissal from the college, if that was happening, and allegations were proven.

It's not right that you're going through that. I hope it gets better for you.

Edit: I'm obviously joking about the beating, however attractive that option might be.

[Expat]

Your little PS is going to evaporate a lot of people's sympathy.

If someone is an abusive bully, why does it matter whether or not he's hot?

[dfiant1]

He is a weak piece of shit that is so insecure with himself that he has to try and belittle other people yo make himself look good. He is also a bully.

You are stronger than you know, certainly stronger than him, because you know who you are and you don't need to 'show off' in front of a group of people to make yourself feel better. You are a rock.

If I were you, I would report this, not just for yourself, but for others that are, have and will be bullied by this weak piece of shit. You know it's the right thing to do

There is an old saying that is always true 'Those that protest the loudest are the one's who have the most to hide.'

[Pix]

He should be reported. And if the college ignores it then maybe the media should report on it instead, that will instantly change the faculty's view on the matter in a heartbeat.

And as for why...he's obviously insecure about something. My first guess is he's in the closet and projects his hatred for his own homosexuality onto you. But that's not the only possibility....especially as his behavior is rewarded with a lot of male approval apparently.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He is very uncomfortable about his own sexuality and is, no doubt, deflecting his self hatred onto you. https://www.google.com/#psj=1&q=why+are+...homophobic I personaly can tick off a list of 15 individuals who I know personally that were extremely anti-gay when young who later turned out to be as much gay as myself - if not more.

No, this isn't a healthy situation for him nor yourself, however this is usually the underlying cause of this sort of situation, and I fear that the louder they protest when young, the more issues they have when they come to terms and accept themselves later on in life - he will, undoubtedly, come to regret every last word he has said.

Now you can go and report him if you so wish, however all that will do is drive him deeper into the personal hell he resides in and will not accomplish much in changing who he is as a person. You will, no doubt, gain a good deal of relief... in public, however 'telling' on him may actually escalate the issue to the point where he will take a baseball bat to hand and find you when alone and render you near death, or perhaps dead for not only being a homosexual (which offends his sensibilities and threatens him already) but also for the public humiliation of being called out on his overt self hatred.

I personally would try the 'information route' I would attempt to send him information anonymously on such things as to the more recent studies on what motivates homophobia. I would attempt to clue him in that people know this stuff and that his actions are sending a message, but not the message he most desires to send - in fact he is most likely outing himself to the extreme in the minds of many of those who attend your school.

Since you are a student you do doubt know how to use the Internets and search engines to find out more about the more recent studies of homophobia.

I am a bit more gutsy than that, however I do have some basic self defense training and I do enjoy so much (at times) surprising people at how swift and well accomplished I am in that area by opposing and ending my enemies. If you have some self defense training (able to handle yourself in a physical confrontation) you may want to play at being the nice guy, and pull him aside (if at all possible) and explain to him that his tactics look bad on him, and of course clue him in into the latest research on homophobia.

[sillyboy86]

Maybe he's in the closet etc, but for sure he's pathetic and immature, cause... You told about University, gosh what a stupid kid is that boy...

You need to talk with some authority in the Uni, if there's this kind of office, but maybe another way is to face this guy and speak directly with him, maintaining yourself calm.

[Joshular]

He is a weak piece of shit

THIS. also things like this make me mad. If you were my friend at school I'd kick his face. And be like how's the bitch now >:C

Also I'd got to the see what the laws around hate speech are around where you live and do suthing about it.
Also he probably wants the D in his A

[Chase]

Go to the police. Discuss your situation with a law officer. Even if you can't prove any of his "accidental" shove-ins and every hateful comment he says is Freedom of Speech, he can still be told by a police officer you are protected by the law. Also go to your university's security staff, and consider a lawyer if the university fails to cooperate with you.

[Shiner]

He probably has an internet dating account somewhere, and I dare say he is in the closet.

You should totally be a bitch, sign up as a hot fake guy, hit on him, get him keen for peen, then publicly out him about it. But then again I'm an asshole for stuff like that if people are chronically making others lives miserable.

Don't use physical violence unless it is in self defense, you will only get yourself into bad levels of trouble and ruin your future in that establishment.

Ignoring him, but being an alpha son of a B is probably your best bet. Be confident, stand tall, don't let dicks like him get you down. If he mocks you, don't lower your head, just stare back at him and smirk, keep your shoulders back and just laugh at him, after all he is the one being a "faggot"