My coursemate is very hateful towards me and that hurts me.

[Anonymous]

I hope I'm not getting on your nerves so much yet, but I would like to speak a little bit more about this guy.

I kind of had a chance to speak alone with him about his issues towards gay people, but he didn't even want to listen, when I asked what is his problem. He just said that I should just die, to be run over by some car or something. It made me feel horrible, he has never wished me death before. He said that my d*ck should be amputated, so that I don't pollute the world with those like me. I thought that he would be a little bit nicer if we would be alone, but he was even more hateful than with his listeners.

And I don't understand what's going on with me, because I'm falling for him. How can you possibly fall for someone who hates you?

[hank]

Your bully sounds sadly familiar to me. I used to do and say the exact same things to the gay kids in my school. This really is more of a reflection of him than of you. The one thing that one guy said to me that really shut me up when i was saying some hateful crap about him liking it in the ass was "does that turn you on big guy?" I was furious because yes he was cute, great personality but he made me look like a gay guy that day. My feelings toward him made me want to say those things.

Chances are he is gay, or he is incredibly insecure, nobody that is not really threatened by homosexuals would ever say such things. What to do about it, i would say don't get offended by his comments best thing to do is laugh at them. He is trying to offend you that is what he wants. Don't give him what he wants, take away his rewards by laughing. When he bumps into you say "any excuse to touch me huh?"

[Pix]

How can you possibly fall for someone who hates you?

Possibly a variant of Stockholm Syndrome, the guy has such seeming power over you that you're instinctively empathizing with him as a survival method. Or you could have the same kind of sickness I've seen in too many women who love the psychos thinking they can make him fall in love with her and then protect her from all the other psychos in the world (and/or self-hate). Or maybe it's just being around someone attractive and you need to find someone else who's cute to hang around with instead by avoiding this guy as much as possible and hanging with others who are cute so you can crush on them instead.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think Hank has hit on a good stratagem as to how to 'deal with' this guys attacks. Fight fire with hidden knowledge.

Since he didn't lay into you physically in private, he most likely it not going to hit you.

And the things that Pix said about your reaction to all of this on course.

[JohnJames]

My goodness, a bully at a university??? That's unheard of here in the philippines. Even in high school, gays are seldom bullied over here..... I guess you have to seek help from the school authorities....or maybe seek some advice and help from your local lgbt organizatio?[/b]