hey new guy, advice?

[zuffenhausen]

Hey I'm new.

For starters i like cocks, but i like girls too, so call me want you will.

The gay community is much more accepting of bi guys than the straight community, so I often hang around gay guys, I don't have to hide one part of my life.

But over time issues arise. I'm very picky about what guys I hook up with, so i often get get kicked out of groups for not hooking up enough. They will invite me into their circle but if they haven't got any off me within a few months I get subtly shoved aside. I don't wanna brag but I'm pretty hot, which in a way makes things worse.

Straight groups annoy me a bit because I have to "hold back" and while gay groups I feel more free they only seem to want me for sex.

I was only going to say hi but its turned into a bit of a winge lol sorry.

And any advice would be great, I don't know if this is the right section.

[Miles]

Hey and welcome to gs

The gay community is much more accepting of bi guys than the straight community

In my experience it's been almost the opposite case. All my straight friends have been totally cool with me coming out to them but I've heard gay folks talk about their contempt for bi folks, like they're greedy, sluts, de-legitimizing their cause, or in denial about being fully gay or fully straight. I get that a lot of folks use the bi label as a buffer or transition label to 'ease into' being gay, which makes it hard for actual bi folks to seem legit. And I also understand the fear that a good number of non-bi folks have, of not being able to please their bi partner because they can't give them the experience of the other sex. And many of the non-bi folks have been burned for that reason, so that must sting. But all that other stuff...I dunno, I've just seen a lot more hate from within the LGBT community than without, some of it with its rational bases, much of it without.

As for your predicament, I say if these groups are kicking you out because you're not hooking up enough, then good. They're doing you a favor. You need to find some different groups. Ones that aren't obsessed with shtupping each other.

[zuffenhausen]

Thanks for the reply.

I probably should add that i have come-out as bi to a very select group of straight friends with varying success. I can see where you are coming from because some were very cool about it, that said some lost loads of respect.

In my experience the gay community are more accepting initially, while less accepting in the long run, while straight people are less accepting initially but more accepting in the long run. And yes some people think its a "soft-entry" to being openly gay but I've been havinh sex with both for 10 years and I can't see myself dropping either one. Actually if I was forced to I'd drop guys even after 10 years I still prefer girls (sorry everyone)

Maybe I'm being weak. I like my straight guy image I have with my friends and i don't want to jeopardise it or worse it leaking to my family that I'm bi.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Interesting you like cocks and girls - not guys and girls - cocks and girls.

Perhaps what is attached to the cock displeases you?

cocks, erm I mean guys - are more hardwired to 'just sex' than girls. There is this running joke that lesbians enter into instant relationships while gays enter into instant serial monogamy, every night its a monogamus situation with a new guy.

This is more due to how males and females are hardwired when it comes to sex. This is not due to sexuality (straight/bi/gay).

Women are taught that its not OK to have many partners, if they do they are sluts. Guys are taught that if they have many partners they are studs. Negative for girls, positive for guys.

Straight men are hampered by the needs of the women, who need to be pure and abstain from slutty behaviors if they want any chance of being married.

Gay guys ain't hampered, the people they go to bed with are like them and are supposed to rack up the body count because it is 'studly'.

Unfortunately the image of the bi-sexual male is not a good one, because there are so many of them who appear to switch teams at will and too there are too many 'straight' men in marriages who claim to be bisexual to put themselves on the meat market for 'just sex'.

So gay men are more reluctant to accept bisexuality than straight people.

Then there is this 'straight guy image' you are going on about. I'm a 100% gay man (at least in bed) but I have a fairly strong 'straight man' image. The assumption that to be gay means you have to act like a fairy is distasteful to me. There is a great deal of assumption about sexuality which is based on stereotypes.

My advice is going to be rather simple: To thy ownself be true.

Get to know who and what you are, then don't be afraid to be that. right now your situation sounds very familiar to a lot of gays who go through a 'bisexual' stage. Fear of being considered as a sissy or less than because they prefer men, cause them to pretend to be 'bisexual' because it feels more acceptable and it eases them into a situation where they can have the best of both worlds - the 'straight man image' and all the cock, erm I mean guys - they want.

As for friends - honestly if these people can't accept homosexuality (just a tendency or full blown homosexuality) in you, then they are not really your friends.

[ShyGamer4012]

Hi, welcome to GS!

[zuffenhausen]

Honestly I don't care much for muscles or faces or anything like that, as long as they're not ugly. It might sound really superficial but to me the cock is 80% of a man, if i don't think he has a nice cock then no matter how perfect the rest of him is i just won't care. I hate to say it but I've never enjoyed an encounter with any guy that was under 7". Girls however I like on a much broader level.

As for getting to know who I am, well I really don't think that's the problem, I've been with dozens of men and even more women I don't think there is any mystery left, the only conclusion I can come to is that I'm genuinely bi, and believe me if i was gay I would be ok with that, if anything it would make my life much easier.

And this straight guy image is not something that's fake that the real me (minus the odd cock-fondle). One problem is a lot of girls when they find out I'm bi get this idea in their head that im going to want kinky sex and that i hook up with guys every weekend, which I dont.

As for this switching teams thing I don't date guys, its just the odd encounter. In fact I haven't been with a guy in over a year and that's not that rare, I sometimes will go awhile. Girls are my bread and butter and guys are like a little holiday, but some people don't get that.

This isnt a "I'm confused" post I just want some advice on how to best handle a life as bi.