dfiant1 Wrote:I think we are too focused on each other flaws for this to be a healthy discussion. Everyone has their flaws and being judged purely for your flaws is a kind of bogotry.
You want to feel good about yourself, say something nice about another person rather than focus on your own flaws.
There are several threads dedicated to saying something nice (and others for fun). Do we really need more of that ego boosting?
Relationships are not broken by our positives, it is our negatives, our flaws that break/end relationships - and relationship doesn't mean just marriage, friendships are also on that list.
Understanding what our 'flaws' are allows us to to
choose which defects of character we want to work on and which ones we want to keep. I have no problem admitting that I have defects of character which I
choose to keep. For instance blind stubbornness is one I
choose to keep.
One of the hardest things I did in life was listing my flaws - my real flaws (not the ones I perceived were flaws), and then facing them and deciding which ones I was able and willing to work on.
I would rather be accepted for my flaws than have someone focus on my strengths and positives. I means anyone can get along with my positives, being able to handle/deal with my flaws is going to ultimately decide if we remain friends or not.
I am not suggesting we focus on our flaws all of the time and obsess on them, but it does a being good to remind themselves of their short comings.
And since everyone wants to remain in denial and never talk about this crap, a lot of people go through life believing that their 'flaws' are unique to them and them only. Airing our own dirty laundry once in a while reveals to everyone that we are not as messed up as we think we are, thus making it easier to pass through this life with a bit more self respect and self acceptance.
Perhaps a little revealing of our darker selves will also reveal that much of what we perceive in our self as a 'flaw' really isn't a real flaw.
The introvert thread I started recently has revealed that a lot of us share a lot of commonalities which undoubtedly most if not all of us believed was a shortcoming that we as individuals alone suffered from. This 'negative' and the airing of it may have actually done a few people some good.