It's my turn...

[ShyGamer4012]

I've been thinking deeply about coming out for the past couple weeks now. I've been bothered by the fact that I'm 30 and haven't done so by now. It seems like every time I think about it I just push it off for another day. I don't think it would be as bad as I sometimes think it would be. The subject of homosexuality comes up once in a while in daily conversation with family. I know the issue doesn't seem to bother my step-dad, my mom seems pretty neutral on it (although I don't know how she would take it if she found out her son is gay) I'm still living with my parents so that's probably why I'm still holding back, but I feel like if I don't do this it will be much harder for me to get anywhere with my life.
As I mentioned before, a close relative came out to me recently and I've been thinking about starting with him. He seems like the one I can trust the most and it might help me to build up the motivation I desperately need to come out to more family and friends. There are a few that I feel would not be accepting so I'll probably pick and choose to the best of my ability (although it's probably no great loss if they find out since I don't have much contact with them anyway)
Any advice or motivation would be greatly appreciated. It just feels like such a heavy weight and it would be nice if I could finally get it off my chest...

[Waylon777]

Come out to someone that you know who would be okay with it. I think it just helps to here that it's okay when you first come out to someone. Be sure to start at your own pace, don't push yourself anyway, just let it happen. If you need someone to listen, PM me anytime. Or you can start by coming out to us! haha XD

[trialbyerror]

Dear Shygame

How ever it works out for everybody else, being able to live without having to continually look over your shoulder will eventually be the best decision you ever made for yourself.

In every respect just put yourself first. You owe you, that .

Cheers mate,
Duckkie

[southbiochem]

Anyone who can have the guts to do this always gains my admiration...

As I'm turning 26 soon and I'm still closeted, I know how you feel...when I was 15, 18, 20 I always let fear preventing me from doing it thinking I was young and had all the time...now the clock is ticking...I don't want to get pass 30 and still being alone and in hiding...

Your recently outted relative is the perfect person to target first...someone who you know and trust and that will be understanding...can't think of anything going wrong there...

your family seems Ok, too, of course mom could always freak out a bit, but sisnce they seem to be Ok with the subject I'm sure they will overcome the shock if it takes place

you seem to have a pretty good enviroment arrund you...relax, get comfortable and go for it...

best of lucks to you

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Coming out is a big step for anyone to take, but you shouldn't feel pressured into doing it. Being out doesn't make you feel any more gay - at least on the inside, there are always a few exceptions on the outside ;-)

I was 40 when I came out, and life (almost) went on as normal.

Whatever you decide I hope it all goes well for you.

Keep us posted :-)

ObW
X

[ShyGamer4012]

Thanks for the support everyone, I plan on hopefully making it happen some time this week. I'll be sure to give you all an update

[Woollyhats]

I'm slowly coming out to different people right now, it's actually not really as dramatic as it seems (and it's not a big deal to tell strangers any more.... it's the emotional investment that makes it hard I feel). I recently came out to my closest friends, which was risky (I didn't come out to my most gay friendly friends, but my closest friends ever), but it turned out okay.

The responses were very uplifting. My best friend from childhood (See: Sister) was talking about me to someone, and said that she was going to support me no matter what, all of the time. I was very happy.

My only complaint thus yet is that one friend is treating me differently, and I realise it's because she liked me. Oh well. That might happen to you, but my line of thinking is that at least no one is going to waste time crushing on me.

Parents are obviously difficult, as I've been struggling with my own, but it's just a bullet I'll have to bite. As for your parents, from an objective view, I think they will be okay. Good luck.

[ShyGamer4012]

Well I made some sort of progress today. I came out to the close relative pretty much after I got home from work. We were talking a bit then the subject of me coming out to my mom came up. He started talking about how he would be afraid to bring it up in front of his parents (about himself), but how mine might be more accepting. So I started thinking about coming out to my mom and before I lost the motivation to do so (and before my step-dad would be home) I went for it!

It took like 2 minutes for me to gather up the courage to start the conversation, which felt like forever. We both had a little bit of a cry initially but she said she was glad I was able to say something. She said that she would accept me for who I was no matter what and that I would always have her support. She went on to tell me that too many people get depressed and sometimes commit suicide for keeping something like this inside for so long and that she felt bad that I had to go on this long without having anyone to talk to about it. So I think it went very well, definitely helped my confidence a bit. My sister and brother are next but I think I'm going to take it easy for now and calm my nerves haha. The initial release of emotions took a lot out of me.

[nfisher1226]

That's a big step. The first few times are the hardest.

After telling a few people, and taking a lot of looong breathers between, I've found that the pace has just naturally increased. I'm still not out with all of my family or all of my friends but the people who are "in the know" have increased exponentially since the spring.

It really does feel better to be out, and to be able to talk to those you are close to without having to censor yourself constantly. I, too, wish I'd done so a lot sooner. But it's never too late to start living the life that you want (well sort of, since we don't generally live forever, but you get my drift).

[ShyGamer4012]

I don't think I'd ever come out to everyone, but it helps if those that I spend time with already know so I don't have to live my life through a filter. There are a few family members that are very conservative but they don't need to know anything, I don't spend much time with them anyway
I still have a long battle ahead of me but at least I finally got things started