Ive come out to a few close friends after realizing i am bisexual
I have one close friend that is gay and would love to turn to for advice and to let me meet new people with but am unsure yet if I am ready to tell anyone else that I know ie friends and relatives
How can I take the pressure off myself untill im comfortable with my sexuality and im ready to come out to everyone
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How to take the pressure off you to do something you're not ready to do? Who's pressuring you? Not me or anyone but yourself. My suggestion is to slap yourself in the face and tell him to stop pressuring you to do something you aren't ready to do.
There's no written out schedule or timetable for you to come out to anyone. Get that in your head. You don't have to wake up one morning, hang a sign around your neck saying
[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]"HEY LOOK AT ME I'M NOT A HETERO"
[/COLOR][/SIZE]
You just do these things in small steps when you're ready to do them and stop listening to that voice inside you telling you otherwise.
What else is on your mind?
Ohh and welcome to GaySpeak. hahahhaha!
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Take your time to be fully comfortable with yourself, no need to rush. You say you have a close gay friend ( I wish I had when I came out  ) so he could be the perfect person to first come out to and talk with. As for family, friends and workmates you can tell theses people when it feels right for you. Try to kinder to be yourself and not be in a hurry to just blurt out that you are bi to everyone. Each time you do come out it will be easier and less of a issue for you, good luck and all the best. 
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Does one ever become 100% comfortable with themselves? There's always that self doubt and apprehension. Fist day of school, prom, college, applying for a job, first dates, moving out on your own, driving for the first time...
As in all things in life, you educate yourself best you can and balance the rest with baby steps, and a leap of faith - go for it and see what happens. YOU will never see yourself as a Bi guy until you get out there and start owning it and being a Bi guy.
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Chances are if you've told a few close friends that you're bisexual it will wind up being gossip before long. The best way to broadcast a message about anything is to share a secret with a few people.
You sit tight for a little while and get yourself ready to spill your guts to whoever you're most afraid will have the big emotional reaction. Like V said, no one's pressuring you to say anything until you're ready. You probably have some time to craft the right words to say to your family and coworkers. But as Borg pointed out, its easy to fool yourself and put off breaking the news until some magic moment happens and you're completely ready.
Don't fool yourself though. Knowing that you've already broken the news to some people, and no matter how close to you they are, this info is going to go into full fledged gossip girl at some point. You should probably mentally prepare yourself to start telling your immediate family the truth. The alternative is to remain passive and hope they don't hear any gossip.
I guess my question to you is do you want to do damage control after the fact if they find out from someone other than you, or do you want to be there and shape the confession yourself, in your own words? It may well be difficult for you either way, but from speaking from experience I'll say that it's easier walking into a room knowing what to expect rather than wondering when someone will ambush you with their version of the truth.
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Borg69 Wrote:Does one ever become 100% comfortable with themselves? There's always that self doubt and apprehension. Fist day of school, prom, college, applying for a job, first dates, moving out on your own, driving for the first time...
As in all things in life, you educate yourself best you can and balance the rest with baby steps, and a leap of faith - go for it and see what happens. YOU will never see yourself as a Bi guy until you get out there and start owning it and being a Bi guy.
Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! What grade was that?????????????????
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It was called Crisco day when I went to "school".
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Virge Wrote:Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! What grade was that?????????????????
I remember being terrified my first days of kindergarten, grade school, Junior high, high school, and college. Pretty much anything very 'new' fired up my "fight or flight" mechanism... primarily being "FLIGHT".
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As a general rule (not 100% true), people are most comfortable with people who are comfortable with themselves. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to be more comfortable with other people, the way they are. It's when we give *too much* importance to what we imagine other people may think of us that things get all screwed up. As a general rule (ditto), most people don't think about us at all beyond, perhaps, a moments irritation or appreciation. Beyond that, we're as "nothing" to them as they are to us. Exceptions are people we care about and who care about us: Our "families" whether blood related or not. But if they we/they truly do *care*, then being 'who we are' should be comfortable, perhaps even comforting. Doesn't mean we're all alike. Difference, spice of life, makes things interesting, and all that.
Point is, *being* who you are as opposed to "coming out" about who or what you are. Just be it. They, the people who matter, will figure it out.
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MikeW Wrote:Point is, *being* who you are as opposed to "coming out" about who or what you are. Just be it. They, the people who matter, will figure it out.
That. Right there. That's what I've been wracking my brain trying to say and couldn't find a way to say it. MikeW, as is usually the case, gave awesome advice.
There's no reason to go around telling everyone you're bi. It's like... why would someone go around saying "I like it when my boyfriend tickles my pucker with his fingertip." Seriously, with most people it shouldn't be any of their business anyway, unless you're considering bedding them. THEN, it's useful information.
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