So confused it's seriously killing me

[Confused0]

This has been going on for about 2 years or so..please hear me out this is real and I'm not kidding about anything, so let's begin...well back then, I use to watch regular straight white guy white girl porn, then one day I came across an interracial porn video, and it cometely changed my life, I was loving it, I started watching more interracial porn and it got to the point that every girl I saw in person I would dream of them going black, then it got to the point where I didn't even wanna watch them have sex, I just wanted to see the girl give him a blowjob, then it got even worse, one guy wasn't enough, I started watching gang bangs, suddenly I realized the girl wasn't the thing turning me on...it was black guys, so I would look at pictures of naked black guys and I loved it, they're so beautiful, I slowly got into gay interracial porn videos and all I could think about was how lucky those white guys are, I thought to myself what about white guys? So I tried watching a regular gay porn video and it didn't turn me on at all..I needed black guys, I dreamed of them and I wanted them


Then I thought it was just a porn fantasy...then one day during class, a thug black boy was saggin his pants really love, showing off his boxers and his pants were under his ass cheeks, he goes to my desk to ask me for a paper, as I look down, I see his dick is literally showing off his boxers and it was right INFRONT of me, I never saw such a sexy thing in my life, I got really turned on, and then every day during gym class I'd get horny watching black guys change, I know for a fact now I find them extremely attractive in person now, and I ask myself if a black guy asked for a blowjob would I truly give him one?...the answer is I'll do anything he says..

Please help, is there something wrong? And am I gay? Bi? Please help it's been 2 years and I just need some clearance on this ..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

A lot - and I mean way hella lot - of 'straight' guys are watching so much porn that their 'normal' fare has become boring to them so they are looking for 'more erotic' more wild, more out of this world pornography to get off.

Now had you approached this from the I feel love, contentment, security, safety, emotional attachment and other various emotional stuff about a guy then I would say you are most likely bi or gay.

But you didn't, the only thing you have talked about is sex, lust and pornography which strongly points to you having worn out the pleasure centers of your brain, dulled them to the point where now you require something 'wilder' in order to be satisfied.

That whole 'gangbang' situation is not about love, its not about commitment, its not about relationships - its all about sex and lust and pleasure. Wondering if you are able to suck a cock has nothing to do with homosexuality in an of itself - it has a lot to do with sex, but it doesn't actually point to homosexual tendencies if all you are thinking about is a man's dick and your ability to get off with it.

Now when the day comes (if ever) you see a guy and your world is totally rocked to its foundations and you are thinking in terms of being with him for the rest of your life, building a life, working together playing together and it just so happens that there is good sex - then you can figure you are bi or gay.

I fear our modern world is a sick, twisted and skewed place when it comes to sexuality. While the words have sex in them, there is no emphasis on the sex part - sex being actually a pretty small part of Heterosexuality, Bisexuality and Homosexuality.

As long as all you are thinking about is the sex/lust/pleasure side of this, I can't officially declare you bi or gay.

[Woollyhats]

Biologically, you clearly have tendencies that are sexually in the homosexual category.

You would like to know if you're bisexual or homosexual, clearly, and I could probably hazard a guess based on the evidence you gave me, but it's more important for you to answer this yourself.

Questions you might begin with are, "Who do I see myself spending the rest of my life with?". Is it primarily a woman, a man, some weird combination thereof? Those are important questions to answer too, because even if you're sexually bisexual, but would only date a woman, you might consider yourself straight.

For that, you might want to refer to Bowyn's post. If you do want to figure out what definition best suits you, I'll post information if you'd like, but I unfortunately won't come right out and say "this is what you are", because I believe it's important for you to define yourself.

Edit,

Aftermention, seeing as you're grappling with what is clearly a bet of a fetish, but don't know where you are sexually, you should be cautious about the African American blow jobs (I just used that in a sentence, yes I did). I know you might reason that you can't get any sort of health issue from a blow job, but you can, so just be safe if that opportunity ever arises and you take it.