Settling to just be single..?

[justbry87]

..Is that a thing?

I mean it's not for the lack of trying or anything, but I am
getting to the point that I am starting not to mind being by
myself. [relationship wise]

I used to feel real crappy every time my friends and I go our
separate ways and they go back home to their sig-other and I
come home to.. well, my room. Now, I don't feel good or bad
about it, it is just what it is.

I am starting to believe that relationships aren't for everyone
and that some people are just destined to be single for the rest
of their lives and there's nothing wrong with that.

I am perfectly content with the company of my friends and loved
ones and I just don't feel the need to keep thinking 'what-if' anymore.

I might be swayed again to think otherwise, but has anyone else ever
felt like this at one point or another?

[Miles]

I've never seen my brother happier, more determined, and secure in himself than when he stopped being in relationships.

90% of what I've witnessed between people in relationships and heard from them both during and after their relationships has been bad.

I can't imagine why people would want to rush headlong into this kind of thing. But people keep doing it. It genuinely mystifies me.

[Wade]

I might be swayed again to think otherwise, but has anyone else ever
felt like this at one point or another?

Yes, very much so. I'm sure many others here have as well. But it's just some defense mechanism your brain is putting up because you happen to be lonely right now.

You don't know what the future holds.

I'll say it again, because it bears repeating.

You don't what the future holds. It'd be ridiculous to settle into what you think is going to be the rest of your life. You want different? Change? Then make change dude. If every day is exactly like the last it's because your behavior is exactly the same. Do something you wouldn't normally do just because it's not part of your "script," or that make believe thing we call our "identity."

Talk to a stranger. Go bowling. Sing a Coldplay song in the middle of the mall. You never know what might happen.

[Geminize]

I might be swayed again to think otherwise, but has anyone else ever
felt like this at one point or another?

You can make that choice, but you're pretty young to let it go entirely. I was starting to feel that way when I was 25, wondering if I would ever meet that special someone. We had actually already met at that point, but didn't get together for another year or so.

Being satisfied with your own company is a great thing, but I encourage you to stay open to the possibility of a relationship. You just never know.

[Waylon777]

It's good that you accepted that it's nice to be alone sometimes. I think it's nice to hope sometimes, but at the same time, you should be happy with you got as well. I've been wanting to be someone for a long time now, but I can't really find anyone either. But then again, just because you want it, doesn't mean that you get it. But, it's also nice to have someone beside you, know that this person cares so much. I'm glad you made your peace it with it though! You may meet someone soon!

[starbelly]

I get what you're saying, because I'm also someone who is usually "satisfied" with my own company. I often prefer to spend time by myself and do things on my own— I'm pretty independent in that way. I'm the sort of person who values and needs that alone time to recharge my batteries, so to speak.

That said, I also long for the day where I have someone to be able to share my time with. In other words, yeah, I would absolutely love to be in a (healthy) relationship with someone. It hasn't happened for me yet, but hopefully will one day, and I know in my heart that I wouldn't fare well if I had to spend my entire life single. I've daydreamed about having a "prince charming" since I was six years old, no joke. I think everyone is inherently built with the capability to have romantic relationships with people, but the biggest problem that I've observed among my friends and family is that people lose their identities when they enter into relationships, and then things just implode. It's important to remain who you are and stick by your virtues and passions WHILE being in a relationship; because, when you think about it, your partner fell in love with you because you were YOU. It's dangerous when couples become so involved and obsessed with one another that they lose their own senses of themselves, and I've seen that happen over and over again.

[Lilitu]

I've been feeling like that this year. But obviously I don-t really know what I'm feeling because I'm like 17...

Still, I wonder whether I could be completely content living alone.

[trywait]

I was seeing someone again earlier this year but as we got to know each other more, OMFG....I was soooo turned off by the personality and couldn't overcome it.

then I had an epiphany. I can now understand why some people can be in a relationship just to be in a relationship and not be alone.

as heavily introverted as I am, I relish my independence and have no problem in my solitude on most days.

im not looking for mr. perfect or mr. right now, just mr. right who takes my breath away!

[justbry87]

...but the biggest problem that I've observed among my friends and family is that people lose their identities when they enter into relationships, and then things just implode. It's important to remain who you are and stick by your virtues and passions WHILE being in a relationship; because, when you think about it, your partner fell in love with you because you were YOU. It's dangerous when couples become so involved and obsessed with one another that they lose their own senses of themselves, and I've seen that happen over and over again.

..Speaking of this, I've always thought about my past relationships
and I'm actually guilty of this.

I remember being totally invested in the interests of my sig-other
that I was being someone totally different.

I've also seen friends who've fallen into this and I can always put
myself in their shoes, cause I get it. You change yourself to suit your
sig-other so that they'll like you and won't leave you. Who wants to be
lonely and heartbroken, right?

But after some lengthy time not being in a relationship I realized this and
have made a promise to myself that I'll never ever be like that if I ever
enter into another relationship.

Talk to a stranger. Go bowling. Sing a Coldplay song in the middle of the mall. You never know what might happen.

I'm pretty social, trust! I talk to random strangers all the time. I'm the random
person who talks to people at the bar/music events.

I remember I used to beat myself up all the time when I didn't really make
a 'connection' with someone after every time I go out. Now it's not really a big
deal to me anymore, if not a 'connection' at least I've made another friend ;]

[Pix]

They're not for everyone. Many happy people are single (and I mean to include those who aren't looking even for one night stands) just as many people in relationships are miserable. And perhaps ironically such people can become more attractive than others always looking for someone (as they have their own interests which makes them interesting and they don't come off as smothering or too clingy, plus if they do end up dating someone it doesn't just feel to that someone like they're "filling in until someone better comes along").

I'm not even sure I'd be in the relationship I'm in now had it not been for a mix of circumstances. Sometimes I think that in a few years maybe (especially if my relationship falls apart) that I'd love to just go camping for a year or so just by myself, feel the seasons flow past me, almost no internet and being about a complete hermit (I'd have to have something to read, however) and just see what I can realize about myself and the world doing it...I just have a strong feeling that I'd be a better person for it. And I wonder if I'd ever come back from it...