Acquaintances,Friends,Best Friends,and True Friends

[AlfredM]

Hey people~! So I've been inactive for quite a while now,around 2 months? :tongue: New semester really caught me.

I've been trying to differentiate these 2 categories of people around me lately and it hasn't been that well. In my culture,the term acquaintance doesn't really exist. Apparently every one is your friend if you could talk to them without being awkward. And the line is even blurred by the internet,where people would just add in fb anybody that they've met or never met yet in real life,regardless of prior communication. If I'm to follow the guideline here,then most people that I consider as my friends are NOT in actual,which is depressing.

I'm not sure why I'm obsessing about labelling people. I guess,it won't hurt me if it turns out we lost contact or anything happen between us,as we were never friend to begin with.

Then comes the many categories in friendship that maybe I just made it all up. So we have friend,good friend,close friend,best friend,and true friend? I guess good,close,and best friend could be in the same category.

Anyway,I recently had a minor accident which resulted with a cement cast on my leg due to small crack on my ankle bone. Most of the friend that I consider as my best friend don't even contact me to express concern,not even a 'get well' wish via sms or fb chat. This got me thinking that they are not my true friend. Then I contacted my one and only true friend,and he said the same thing. He even mentioned about the "friend comes and goes" thing which I've always thought that the quote mostly refers to geographical factor,but apparently it's not limited to that. So now I'm left with even fewer true friends.

With all the rambling,I just wanna know where do you put line to all those categories? How do you face your best friend who turns out to be not your friend in need (not true friend)? My friend suggested forgiveness,which is the easiest to do,but I could never be really sure if I have forgiven some one completely deep in my heart.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have something on the order of three friends in my life. Everyone else falls in the 'acquaintance' zone.

I use the measurements of time and their ability/willingness to put up with my crap.
For instance if I broke something like, oh I don't know a leg and was unable to get around, who shows up to say hi or call to who comes to my house to actually help me with stuff around here would decides fairly rapidly who is 'friend' and 'mere acquaintance.

The same is true in reverse - how much of an individual's crap can you handle?

The using mentality, where a person is always coming to you for something and never giving anything to little back - that isn't a good thing. The Party people - the ones who come to the party and manage to get away when the party ends instead of stay and help clean up - not very friendly....

It is a good thing that you are starting to figure this out. You are breaking out of the social mold and moving on to greatness.

As for dealing with the learning experience of what individuals really are to you/for you - depends on the person I suppose. Way back in the stone age when I started figuring out the real difference I allowed myself to be hurt by the situation. it was a learning curve, and once I weeded through all of the so called 'friends' and figured out who were really their for me, I got to a place where I didn't pin much hope for 'best friend' on anyone I just met.