I have been in my relationship for just over a year now & i have found out that my boyfriend is bisexual and for me it seems to be a massive thing. When he mentions that a girl is hot or he re blogs "hot" girls on tumblr or straight people fucking i can't help but get in a mood and get really really jealous. I have spoke to him about it but he says thats him & he cant change it but that he wants to be with me & no one else. He has said that he's curious to what its like to have sex with a girl and this has made me think that has soon as he finds a hot girl that he's gonna end up being with her. Has anyone else had this problem ? I really need some advice because i love him and really dont want it coming between us.
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if you love him , get over it.
him being bisexual doesn't change anything about him as a person. it just means he's attracted to both men and women. that doesn't increase the possibility of him cheating on you or leaving you for someone else. the chance of that happening would be exactly the same whether he was gay or bi.
judging him like you are just because he's attracted to both genders is wrong. he's still the same person.
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Just because he's attracted to people who aren't you doesn't mean he's going to leave you for them. You are probably attracted to people (men) who aren't him, yet you aren't having thoughts of leaving him for them. The same can be said for him, even if some of the other people he is attracted to happen to be women. The important thing is that he is with you and he seems to be devoted to you. Attraction for others isn't what ruins relationships, unless we're talking about assholes. Bisexuality does not make someone an asshole.
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Ask him to stop posting "straight people fucking" or blogging "hot girls" or guys for that matter. Sorry he sounds like a loser. or maybe he wants an open relationship and you dont.
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What everyone else says here, divide it by 2 and the right answer is half way in between....or base it on your gut instinct.
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I guess it would be strange going into the relationship not knowing he went both ways, but all things considered, I don't see why it should be a particular hindrance on your relationship. I would date a bisexual man without question; he still has attractions to people, it's just not discriminatory to gender in his case.
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My advice?
First, why are you in an open relationship when you clearly want to be monogamous?
Secondly, get over it.
My boyfriend is bisexual too, and I've explicitly told him he can still talk about guys AND girls, because I want to love him for who is is --- not begrudgingly tolerate something I dislike.
I find the fact that's he is bisexual interesting, because I get to ask and have discussions that I imagine guys normally have about girls --- and that I thought I'd never get to have. Personally it just makes him more interesting to me.
Lastly, you're concerned with the wrong thing. You should be concerned with faithfulness, not the opportunities he has to be unfaithful. Because if you trust him enough to be faithful to you, it shouldn't matter who he likes. On the same token, if you don't trust him to be faithful to you, it won't matter how limited his choices are, you're going to be worried and jealous.
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I agree that it's more a question of monogamy and faithfulness than about your bf being bi. The important thing is to keep communication open. If you just shut down when he expresses any attraction to girls or straight sex, then you are more likely to have trouble. If you love him, he needs to feel ok expressing all of who he is with you. It's ok to let him know you feel jealous too, just keep the communication going.
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