So I met this amazing guy about 4 weeks ago through an online dating website, met him 2 times so far, 1st time we just talked and ate something small, 2nd time we went to the cinema and at the end when we both went home we hugged and he gave me a kiss on the cheeck, so it all seemed like he really likes me as well and because of that I asked if he felt like coming to my home in about a month(during christmass vacation) so we can cook something together and watch a movie, only I wonder is that to quick for him to already come over? My mother has been saying it all IS going to quick and I'm not sure myself if it is so would love to hear opinions abour this.
Another question my mother and father knew I went away with him and because of that they said the following:
''real gays do not touch or kiss each other on public''
this just seems stupid, I asked someone else in a pm and he agrees that's stupid but I still want more opinions in case I miss something
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How "fast" its going is up to you and him.
Personally, I dont see anything wrong with asking somebody over. I mean, you have already been out a couple of times and you feel ok with each other apparently.
I mean, as long as you both arent jumping into a relationship (which I think is way too soon), then its ok to have a friend or date over.
Especially if you "do" holidays and dont want to be alone.
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Quote:so we can cook something together and watch a movie,so we can cook something together and watch a movie,
Is cooking and a movie a gateway drug or something?
As long as that doesn't imply sex in the course of the evening, I think that you are going slow enough.
You have known this guy for a month now - I assume you both communicate between dates - phone, email, text, blah.... if so then you are going at a steady pace.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:How "fast" its going is up to you and him.
Personally, I dont see anything wrong with asking somebody over. I mean, you have already been out a couple of times and you feel ok with each other apparently.
I mean, as long as you both arent jumping into a relationship (which I think is way too soon), then its ok to have a friend or date over.
Especially if you "do" holidays and dont want to be alone. Yeah I also think that it would not be a good decision to start a relationshio for now.
I thought I was going to fast because I sometimes see people say they met eachother only after a couple of months.
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Is cooking and a movie a gateway drug or something?
As long as that doesn't imply sex in the course of the evening, I think that you are going slow enough.
You have known this guy for a month now - I assume you both communicate between dates - phone, email, text, blah.... if so then you are going at a steady pace.
What do you mean with the gateway drug comment 0_o?
Oh no, I told him that I at the very least want to be in a relationship first for around half a year before sex would happen.
Yeah we chat everyday on whatsapp, from the moment we wake up till 1 of us goes to sleep
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Is cooking and a movie a gateway drug or something?
As long as you arent snorting flour and getting wasted on vanilla extract!!
(like SOME goblins I know!!)
LOL
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MisterTinkles Wrote:As long as you arent snorting flour and getting wasted on vanilla extract!!
(like SOME goblins I know!!)
LOL
Wha that happens? Is that even safe 0_o
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havikryan Wrote:What do you mean with the gateway drug comment 0_o?
Oh no, I told him that I at the very least want to be in a relationship first for around half a year before sex would happen.
Yeah we chat everyday on whatsapp, from the moment we wake up till 1 of us goes to sleep
It was a bit of humor mixed with a bit of serious truth.
Lets see. Pot is considered a 'gateway drug' - its fun, basically harmless but tends to lead to far more serious drugs which are far more harmful.
So is cooking and movies going to lead to something more serious and more harmful? I personally think the answer is 'no' but then I'm not you.
6 month waiting period? WOW - you do better than me, I have a 30 day no sex policy which sends the message that I am looking for a serious relationship.
You are better at this thing you think, having a serious 'no sex' policy and making it perfectly clear what it is you are looking for (beyond sex). Plus you have known him for a month and are making a plan for a month from now, not this Friday (tomorrow).
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:It was a bit of humor mixed with a bit of serious truth.
Lets see. Pot is considered a 'gateway drug' - its fun, basically harmless but tends to lead to far more serious drugs which are far more harmful.
So is cooking and movies going to lead to something more serious and more harmful? I personally think the answer is 'no' but then I'm not you.
6 month waiting period? WOW - you do better than me, I have a 30 day no sex policy which sends the message that I am looking for a serious relationship.
You are better at this thing you think, having a serious 'no sex' policy and making it perfectly clear what it is you are looking for (beyond sex). Plus you have known him for a month and are making a plan for a month from now, not this Friday (tomorrow). Ah sorry I was never really good at understanding jokes :3
If you say it that way I understand, I suppose with serious and harmfull you ment sex?
Haha I just want to play it very safe eventhough having sex would seem amazing to me :p
Yeah, it seemed best to wait a couple o weeks with it so I chose the vacation, biggest reason being school, he already has to travel 1 hour so if I chose a weekly day (or even weekend) I was afraid it could bother him too much
Another question(will add it to main post once home) my mother and father knew I went away with him and because of that they said the following:
''real gays do not touch or kiss eachother on public''
this just seems stupid, I asked someone else in a pm and he agrees that's stupid but I still want more opinions in case I miss something
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MisterTinkles Wrote:How "fast" its going is up to you and him. That's exactly what I was going to say.
He seems into you and it's pretty clear that you like him as well, so much.  So instead of giving a fuck about what people say and think, do as you wish. Your relationship involves you and him no one else. And don't be afraid of his reactions don't have doubts. Be Confident. He'll like it. And if you ever tell him what you feel like doing, say anything, suggest anything, etc. that he doesn't agree on; he'll tell you. When you're comfortable around him and you speak your mind without a second thought, he most likely will think you trust him and you really like him. He'll also be comfortable around you and you two will build a strong connection.
I know you guys are fresh now but I'm not just talking about you and him. You don't know what's waiting for you. My words are for all your relationships waiting in line. It's up to you to take them serious or not. Wish u the best.
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havikryan Wrote:Ah sorry I was never really good at understanding jokes :3
If you say it that way I understand, I suppose with serious and harmfull you ment sex?
Haha I just want to play it very safe eventhough having sex would seem amazing to me :p
Yeah, it seemed best to wait a couple o weeks with it so I chose the vacation, biggest reason being school, he already has to travel 1 hour so if I chose a weekly day (or even weekend) I was afraid it could bother him too much
Another question(will add it to main post once home) my mother and father knew I went away with him and because of that they said the following:
''real gays do not touch or kiss eachother on public''
this just seems stupid, I asked someone else in a pm and he agrees that's stupid but I still want more opinions in case I miss something
Harmful is whatever is harmful to you... Some people just don't want commitment that fast, it terrifies them - others want commitment but have been stung so much in the past that the idea of commitment hurts.
Its not just sex - its how ever you view relationships and where this one is going.
Quote:''real gays do not touch or kiss eachother on public''
They don't because straight society hates it when we show Public Displays of Affection (PDA's).
Most gay men are very much into touch, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, kissing (innocently kissing, not deep tongue explorations) But we in the LGBT community have been raised in a world where being allowed to demonstrate our love ends up with us being openly and hostilely hated.
We hide our love because of how we are treated when we show it.
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Am I going too fast?
