Question abput erection and anal

[Dillon1986]

So my boyfriend of a few months just now tells me that he isn't into anal. Bottoming because he doesn't like the pressure and topping because he can never maintain an erection when he enters. When performing oral he stays rock hard all the way through. First of all what could this mean?

I'm a switcher but I can be a bottom for him. I suggested an erection ring but he says he doesn't like the way they feel. I've heard of those erection creams but do they actually work? Anything else I can try to get his erection to last?

[megumidesu]

if he doesn't like doing it then there's no point ... would you want him to pressure you to do something that you don't like to do ?

[dfiant1]

It means if you are asking this question, he loves you more than you love him...or at least he accepts you for your quirks and all.

[xzeik]

I guess it can't be helped, then.

I just find it strange that his erection won't hold up enough to do the job.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So my boyfriend of a few months just now tells me that he isn't into anal. Bottoming because he doesn't like the pressure and topping because he can never maintain an erection when he enters. When performing oral he stays rock hard all the way through. First of all what could this mean?

I'm a switcher but I can be a bottom for him. I suggested an erection ring but he says he doesn't like the way they feel. I've heard of those erection creams but do they actually work? Anything else I can try to get his erection to last?

Sex is a very complex emotional experience and appearantly neither one of you knows how to put words to all of those other emotions. No shame there, even I am hard pressed to express exactly the other emotions beyond lust and pleasure that being in a certain position brings about.

He is not a switcher/versatile. He is a bottom. Sorry, but that is what he is. IDK if you clarified at the beginning what it is you are and what you seek in a partner or not. If the question didn't come up, then that is what it is. If the question did come up and he said he was a top/switcher anything but 'I'm a bottom' he lied - either to you or himself.

Since you are switch, then you most likely can relate to both the top and bottom positions on an emotional level. I want for you to ask yourself what does it feel like (emotionally) when I am on top - and this goes beyond 'oh it feels good to have my dick in a tight hole' - What other deeper emotions are brought out of you?

Now ask yourself the same question but focused on being the bottom.

No doubt you will get different answers to the question, answers which should complement each other.

Example as a top being on top may make you feel more like the protector, while being on the bottom brings our your need to be protected. These emotions complement each other.

As a bottom he is not comfortable with or may not actually experience all the other emotions that being a top does for you when you top.

His erection is fading not because of physical ailment or blood flow issues - it is failing because he doesn't get the 'I'm Man/Top.' emotions you get.

It is nice he tries - but no cream, ring or appliance is going to change the underlying emotions of the position he is in. He still ain't gonna like it, and still not be able to perform.

What might work is if you can top from the bottom.

Basically, it is a description of sexual nature that could involve any number of acts: when a dominant person takes a submissive role but still remains in charge while the actual submissive person takes a dominant role but still takes orders.
A dominatrix is said to "top from the bottom" when she lets her submissive tie her up and perform oral sex on her, but all the while she is telling him how she likes to be licked and he does it how she says to.

Taking control of the situation and being aggressive while being on the receiving end of things. If you look up the phrase:

https://www.google.com/#q=top+from+the+bottom it may terrify you to see that it relates to a lot of BDSM stuff - however in reality vanilla can have the bottom 'topping' from the bottom. It is an attitude not so much a position. You 'dominate' the scene and pretty much are ordering him around to be your submissive toy.

Look he gets a raging one when giving you pleasure orally. It is not so much that he has you in his mouth, but the attending feelings that he is in service to you, giving to you while he takes nothing in return (sex is complicated).

This may actually work far better to meet his psychological/emotional needs while meeting your physical needs.

[megumidesu]

He is not a switcher/versatile. He is a bottom. Sorry, but that is what he is.

no he's not . he doesn't like topping or bottoming...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Bottom because he loses his erection which isn't a physical issue but a psychological one.

Yeah he doesn't like anal because it feels odd (which can be a physical issue). His getting a raging hardon while performing anal tells me he has a bottoms perspective on sex roles. Thus his issue is not physical but psychological when he tries to top.