Dating: Do guys rush to meet?

[JtheYoungBear]

Well to be honest ? A few months to a year is the amount of time I'd want to invest of myself in getting to know somebody online before deciding about dating them ...

MEETING them sooner, no problem at all - WLM and I met after ... babe how long ? 8 months ? But Martyn (whom I'm dating) didn't come see me until just gone 12 months into our knowing each other, and shortly after that, we decided to make a go of it ...

... so I'd say talking on MSN/the phone/text etc., until you're comfortable meeting (however long that takes you - depends on you and the other person, how well you gel, etc., etc.), and then from that first meeting, that's when the clock starts ticking on the dating thing for me ... and I'd look to start dating from reflecting upon how our meeting went and so on and so forth ... I think that's the point for me purely because, up until that point, you've not really had an opportunity to sample the individual or their company with all five senses as it were ...

... you might get along great in here, but IRL they might smell, or you might not be what they want, or one of a bazillion other things might just not be quite right, or (God forbid) send alarm bells ringing ...

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

P.s. Incidentally I do think that many homosexuals do rush to get into relationships, as at the back of our minds many of us have this "I've been waiting and alone for so long ... and I really want to have that ideal relationship I've always dreamed of" mindset going on, and that can cause us to THROW ourselves headfirst into things that we might ordinarily think twice about ... not a bad thing - perfectly understandable in fact, but unfortunate all the same in many instances ...

I think you are spot on with all of this. I always take my time before meeting someone face to face, and get a good impression of them online or on the phone. I have met so many good people this way.

[JtheYoungBear]

I'm over chatting up guys online... My phone has this gtalk chat thing and every time, without fail, the guys I've chatted with online ended up being jerks. All of a sudden stop talking to me, remove me as a friend, and don't even dignify me with a response when I message them or (if we've exchanged phone numbers) text or call them even when I beg to know why we fell apart. It happened even up to today and this last time hurt beyond all comparison. So much so that on the first night I worked up the courage to come out to my parents, the hurt instantly soured me to that idea. I'm pretty sure I'll get over it and be less trusting when I chat again but the key word is eventually. I'll probably make a thread detailing this later but until then...



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I hear ya man. I have had a few people recently connect so strongly with me, then suddenly brush me aside as if I was yesterday's news. I also have a very close friend right now who has not responded to any of my messages recently, and I am trying to get over the hurt from that.

I am so sick of even trying to form friendships right now, because it just seems like every time I get that connection, something gets in the way, and then its 'move onto the next person'.

[matthew91]

Replying to a slightly old thread - sorry!
But yeah currently I am talking to this guy and we have been talking for about a day and we both haven't spoken about meeting up even though we realised we lived in the same town.
I have spoken to other guys I met online, most are tw*ts who are only after one thing or want too meet up as soon as you start speaking.
I see internet dating as an only way to pick up guys to be honest because ive tried most other thing to no avail. Clubbing just garuntees you sex, gay bars have a bit too much of an older audience.

[xHurtAngelx]

Dating online!? wow!, yeah i've had my fair share of that, but it hasn't turned out well so i just plan to keep my GS friends as friends nothing more.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

My plan it to travel the world and meet all the friends i have made here as friends

[marshlander]

Okay. Is there anything you don't eat?

[latecomer]

OK I'm going to buck the trend here: I met my current boyfriend online. We met up THE SAME NIGHT we met online. We've been happily together for ~6 months now. Just goes to show there's always an exception.

[fredv3b]

I presume you had the good fortune to meet someone who lives pretty close to you?

Me and my bf didn't meet until about 6 weeks after he first contacted me online. However that was partly due to practical issues.

[mooninleo]

I've found that with online dating, I can usually tell a lot about the person by the way he converses online. I generally don't really meet someone unless I've had enough online conversations to warrant an inperson meeting. Otherwise, its like i feel like I won't have anything to talk to them about anyway

[sephirothtx]

in my opinion a date is a date, out of our life on the web people "meet up" for date shortly after meeting eachother all the time. My problem is most people these days rush to get into bed, and if your trying to build a lasting relationship, using sex as the foundation to build upon will never help the relationship to last.