10-01-2010, 07:17 PM
Shadow Wrote:Well to be honest ? A few months to a year is the amount of time I'd want to invest of myself in getting to know somebody online before deciding about dating them ...
MEETING them sooner, no problem at all - WLM and I met after ... babe how long ? 8 months ? But Martyn (whom I'm dating) didn't come see me until just gone 12 months into our knowing each other, and shortly after that, we decided to make a go of it ...
... so I'd say talking on MSN/the phone/text etc., until you're comfortable meeting (however long that takes you - depends on you and the other person, how well you gel, etc., etc.), and then from that first meeting, that's when the clock starts ticking on the dating thing for me ... and I'd look to start dating from reflecting upon how our meeting went and so on and so forth ... I think that's the point for me purely because, up until that point, you've not really had an opportunity to sample the individual or their company with all five senses as it were ...
... you might get along great in here, but IRL they might smell, or you might not be what they want, or one of a bazillion other things might just not be quite right, or (God forbid) send alarm bells ringing ...
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
P.s. Incidentally I do think that many homosexuals do rush to get into relationships, as at the back of our minds many of us have this "I've been waiting and alone for so long ... and I really want to have that ideal relationship I've always dreamed of" mindset going on, and that can cause us to THROW ourselves headfirst into things that we might ordinarily think twice about ... not a bad thing - perfectly understandable in fact, but unfortunate all the same in many instances ...
I think you are spot on with all of this. I always take my time before meeting someone face to face, and get a good impression of them online or on the phone. I have met so many good people this way.