12-17-2013, 09:46 PM
Greetings,
I'm new here so be gentle. My boyfriend and I love each other and are in a monogamous relationship. He came out last year and has been sexual active for about five years. I came out 20 years ago. He's 35 and I'm 43. We are both Christian, strong faith, family values, and plan on marrying sometime next year.
My boyfriend has a high sex drive. He can ejaculate up to four times per lovemaking session, and has been masturbating since in his teens because he only started to be active at 30. Late bloomer, but he was raised that being gay is wrong, so he has had a lot of issues. His parents love me but will never accept me as part of the family.
Anyway, this is not what this is about, but it gives you background.
Our sex drives are different, and lately, I have a hard time staying hard. Although I can ejaculate once or twice during each session, and I can do it a couple times a day. But the past few times it's difficult to stay erect for me, and he thinks it's him but I told him it's not. I really do think it's stress and that I'm tired. I still ejaculate though, usually after he goes twice, or three times.
However, I get jealous when he masturbates when I'm not there, and I feel pressure to perform, or stay erect when we are together.
He "LOVES" masturbation. He's been addicted to porn in the past, and at times, wouldn't leave his room while a student because of his addiction. This was when he was younger, and he's been open and honest about it, and has talked about it freely with our church small group.
I'm not a fan of masturbating, although I do it once in a while, but I don't feel the passion as he does, and he's had so many years of experience with it that sometimes I wonder if I'm even needed for sex. He really loves it and seems like he goes into a different world. He's told me he's a top and now we are versatile. But lately, he wants to be a bottom and when I can't stay erect it gets very frustrated.
The other day when I stayed at my place I know he masturbated and used his dildo, and this makes me feel awkward. I knew he never stopped masturbating, nor do I expect him to stop, but because of what happened recently, I don't know if I should address him or say anything about it. I am starting to feel inadequate.
Anyway, I'm concerned the masturbation may start to interfere with our sex life. We have talked about it and he says he much prefers me and that it wouldn't interfere, but this seems to add more stress for me to perform and I don't want this to become an issue. I know there's nothing wrong with him masturbating--but with his past--and with my new found lack of sex drive, I am just concerned.
We've both said sex isn't everything and we value and respect each other, but I want him to be happy and not disappoint.
Thanks for
I'm new here so be gentle. My boyfriend and I love each other and are in a monogamous relationship. He came out last year and has been sexual active for about five years. I came out 20 years ago. He's 35 and I'm 43. We are both Christian, strong faith, family values, and plan on marrying sometime next year.
My boyfriend has a high sex drive. He can ejaculate up to four times per lovemaking session, and has been masturbating since in his teens because he only started to be active at 30. Late bloomer, but he was raised that being gay is wrong, so he has had a lot of issues. His parents love me but will never accept me as part of the family.
Anyway, this is not what this is about, but it gives you background.
Our sex drives are different, and lately, I have a hard time staying hard. Although I can ejaculate once or twice during each session, and I can do it a couple times a day. But the past few times it's difficult to stay erect for me, and he thinks it's him but I told him it's not. I really do think it's stress and that I'm tired. I still ejaculate though, usually after he goes twice, or three times.
However, I get jealous when he masturbates when I'm not there, and I feel pressure to perform, or stay erect when we are together.
He "LOVES" masturbation. He's been addicted to porn in the past, and at times, wouldn't leave his room while a student because of his addiction. This was when he was younger, and he's been open and honest about it, and has talked about it freely with our church small group.
I'm not a fan of masturbating, although I do it once in a while, but I don't feel the passion as he does, and he's had so many years of experience with it that sometimes I wonder if I'm even needed for sex. He really loves it and seems like he goes into a different world. He's told me he's a top and now we are versatile. But lately, he wants to be a bottom and when I can't stay erect it gets very frustrated.
The other day when I stayed at my place I know he masturbated and used his dildo, and this makes me feel awkward. I knew he never stopped masturbating, nor do I expect him to stop, but because of what happened recently, I don't know if I should address him or say anything about it. I am starting to feel inadequate.
Anyway, I'm concerned the masturbation may start to interfere with our sex life. We have talked about it and he says he much prefers me and that it wouldn't interfere, but this seems to add more stress for me to perform and I don't want this to become an issue. I know there's nothing wrong with him masturbating--but with his past--and with my new found lack of sex drive, I am just concerned.
We've both said sex isn't everything and we value and respect each other, but I want him to be happy and not disappoint.
Thanks for
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Capricorn
Not all guys have issues at this age, but it's not unusual. Seeing a doctor is not a bad idea, as erectile issues 