Not corresponded in love.

[Anonymous]

I can manage, I can manage. Nope. I always managed the fear of loss by not falling in love.
...
But this time something is out of my control.
I found this person, J , nothing serious, at the beginning I was only seduced, something unexpected at all, this person told me that he/she's not looking for a relationship etc, and I accepted that fact without difficulty.
I continued to live my life, we are friends, we were out and had fun.

A third person came to my life, C, someone interested in me, and I accepted to try a little story with this second one, to see if there was an interest even from me.
C is a good person, maybe even nicer etc than J, and probably we have more thing in common than the things that I can share with J.
But I started thinking about J. Ok.
This happened months ago. I'm still a friend of J and C. Etc, I don't want to talk about C cause the point is another one.

I started thinking about J everyday. I'm very independent, I never needed the presence of someone like today. I started staying away from J, and I'm not happy about that for our friendship (I'm sure I'm not the only one...) but the thing is that I need J not like a friend.
I don't want accept that maybe I'm in love for the first time in my life. When I go to bed I want someone in my bed, J. I want to feel the skin, the voice, the eyes...


I think I can manage this situation, cause I use to manage emotional things bigger than this, but... Also recently I've got a lot of time to think about J, and this is not an help...

Which kind of advice can I ask?
I don't want to forgot J, cause we are friend etc, but I want to calm down myself and maybe restart to think about me and a 'random-fantasy-partner' etc. I don't want to depend on a person, specially in a similar situation.

Thanks.

[southbiochem]

The big question here is:

has J changed his stance on not wanting a relationship? Have you talked to him about it?

If he hasn't, there is little else you can do other than moving on..hard as it may be...

now, C seems fine as you describe him, so you wanting J and developing these feelings, could it possibly be due to that trait we humans have in wanting what we can't have, maybe?