Ok, he's half Russian half American, and I'm completely American.
Culturally, he's definitely more a Russian than he is American, and from having Russian friends (whom I can't ask this to since they don't know I'm gay) I know Russians have a completely different mentality than Americans.
This guy is so difficult to read.
It's like he could go on and on about topics that he's passionate about (such as politics), but then when I try "getting to know him" I hardly get anything. It's like his personal life isn't something I should be asking about, and he's never asked me about mine. All I know is he has never been in a relationship before. He's dated, but had no success, and he had a FWB in high school.
He's a mysterious person, and I love it. With other men, it's been like they'll tell me everything, but with him, I have to work to get to know him. But my main concern is, is he really interested in me?
I don't want to ask it, because he's misinterpreted things already of me coming on too fast, so I'm afraid to ask it. We have A LOT of shared interests; more than any other guy I've talked to.
I've tried looking up online tips on dating a Russian Man on Google, but it's complicated (all heterosexual results) Russian relationships are a lot like cavemen relationships. Russian women want protection and be held/kept warm, and Russian men like being chivalrous to women, and rough totalitarian sex.
This doesn't define a Russian gay guy, and I've even tried typing "tips on dating gay Russian man"
I know that the comparison of Americans to Scandinavians are like Peaches to Coconuts, but is this the same case with Russians? (If you don't know what that means, Americans are soft on the outside, but tough on the inside in which they don't tell you personal info unless you've broken through the nutshell of the peach, and Scandinavians are like coconuts. They have a hard shell on the outside, but once you've breached that external barrier, they tell you everything straight up, no secrets.)
I'd appreciate any advice from someone who has experience with Russians.
Spasibo!
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Simply put, you over think.
Over thinking leads to confusion, sometimes simple things are made too complex and hence your problem.
Outside of serious religious or strict cultural practices/teachings, and even then, people are still people, so if he is interested or not, then his race and or culture has nothing to do with it and is up to you to find out accordingly.
Sometimes, simple is the best approach. Trying to figure him out will most likely end with him either being flattered or offended and you either with a chance at a date or with you disappointed.
Get to know him beyond his culture/race. If he's not interested, let it go, if so, go see a show.
Welcome to GS sweetie 
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I dont think it has something to do with him being Russian American.. Maybe a bit but not totally.
It has something to do with his self, his personality, the way he was brought up..There are people who would tell you everything in a snap, but there are also folks who will pull back. It has something to do with his personality i guess, not on his race. I mean you cant generalize all russians to be like that..
How do you ask personal questions to him? Maybe you can make it more natural so he would soon lose his inhibition. It is cool to talk about things that interest hin, just go with the flow. Maybe he likes to know if you can hold a nice conversation, just be witty and smart always.. You'll get to the personal stuffs soon when he feels comfortable about it.. There's no need to rush. And isnt it good that you have a puzzle to solve? Let him be mysterious if thats what he is.
Let the "getting to know" phase be at his own pace (aw that rhymes haha). Just be cool... Welcome to gayspeak!!
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Assuming you really are 100% American, then how does being American affect your being Gay, or is being gay so totally antipodal to being American that anything anyone looked up on dating Americans would not apply to you at all?
Like it or not we are all raised to be straight. As soon as you pop out of mom (or worse, they cut you out of her), they start programming you culturally to be straight to do specific things that straight people do.
By the time you are old enough to figure out you are not straight, the damage is done, you are programed as your culture desires.
So He is Russian first and foremost, and gay secondly. If he is a product of Russian Culture, well then all of this crap they say about straight Russians will most likely apply since he was raised to be a straight Russian.
American/Russian - ultimately what matters is your species. You are both homo sapiens, thus have basic needs/wants/desires. Sure your individual social settings totally screwed you up as males of the species in how to express your emotions and crap, but you still have those things.
Like it or not, all of this perceived 'negative' about him is why you are attracted to him. These are strengths as well as weaknesses - and you can't have the strength of the situation without the weaknesses of it.
Try the point blank question route.
"Do you like me?" - Then sit there and wait patiently as he processes the question. No he most likely is not processing a lie, he is processing his emotions which being a male raised on this planet are most likely so stunted he has no idea what he really feels.
I bet you have tried the overload method, push for an answer, asking a dozen questions, never giving him a chance to reply. Worse, instead of actually seriously sitting there and contemplating his grunted replies, you make the assumption that when he says something like 'I might' - that he is stringing you along, when instead he has weighed the matter and is still understand that yes or no applies, and that 'might' is the right and proper answer at this time.
I also think you are striking up way too much Russian culture and haven't considered that maybe he is young, raised in a world were gay is wrong, hasn't had much experience, is male in a world were males ain't allowed to feel nothing but happy and anger.... There is a lot of reasons for what you have expressed. Stop trying to shove him in a box and seek answers to 'his issues' as if he fits a stereotype.
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Ok. I wasn't calling for someone to come on here and contradict me, and attempt to humiliate me. I specifically asked for people who have had experience with Russians ( I should be more specific: dating Russians, or experience with Russo-American relations, etc.)
First off, I JUST KNEW when I was writing "I'm completely American" that I'd have someone barking at me for that comment. I shouldn't have to justify me being American. If you'd like me to, I will. My grandmother is cherokee. They come from a place called the Appalachian Mountains. I have inherited her epicanthic fold, making me look Asian in the sunlight. The rest of my family is European. Happy that I dissected my family tree for you? Maybe I'm not completely American, but the definition of American has become more like "mutt". The reader should be able to understand what I mean by "completely American", meaning influenced mainly by American Culture in this situation.
How has me being American make me gay? Who said it does? I sure as hell didn't.
I'm sure there's a blog out there for Russians on rambler that has tips on dating Americans.
Yes I'm stereotyping. Do they have a word for "Gay half Russian half American"? No.
I've talked to and dated only American men. I've never dated a Russian, and I'm asking someone with expertise in this matter to help me bridge the social barrier. Even though he's half American, he's still a bit foreign (to me), because like I said he's more Russian than he is American, and I'm having trouble understanding him.
I never said that him being "mysterious" is a bad thing, therefore it's not "negative".
Tell me stories of how you and your Russian boyfriend have had social differences and how you've solved them. This is what I'm looking for.
You dear are jumping to conclusions with the little details I've given you.
When I noticed that my questions were awkward to him, I stopped asking. No I wasn't bombarding him with questions, and no I'm not some naive little kid asking him twenty million questions on "what is it like to be American and Russian" in case that's what you're implying.
I'm sure you think I'm only spewing crap, but getting to know individuals is like an art to me. I enjoy it, because eventually I understand people to the point of I know what they're thinking, and I know what they're going to say before they say it. Most of the time, it takes years of hanging around an individual to get to that point, but for me it comes quickly.
I've come to a barrier with this guy, and I know it's the social differences.
One minute he seems to really like me and the next is as if I've said something offensive.
If you can't relate to my situation, then kindly keep your judgmental comments to yourself.
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Totalitarian and Chivalrous!? to bad there's no mail order Russian husband :biggrin:
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If he was raised in America with almost no contact with Russia then he's probably more American than Russian in mentality (which generally means more socially conservative than the average American but noticeably less so than the average Russian), and I say that having mixed with plenty of Russians and Russian Americans. Russian American families tend to be even closer knit than Russian families (which are much more closer than the average American family) because they were often treated poorly by Russia (assuming any contact) and America (especially if there was contact with Russia during the Cold War).
Beyond that there are divisions as always. The 3 primary divisions I noticed was Russian Orthodox, Russian Jews (I have zero experience with them but I'd assume they're even tighter knit than others), and "New Russians" (the ones eager to get rich, and it seemed to me these were the most likely to get wild sexually) and they almost never mixed and I got the impression they tended to hold each other in some contempt. Naturally the Russian Orthodox are the least likely to accept the gay lifestyle (and the one native to America or came here by the 50s are actually more traditional than many Russians in the motherland) so that gay members tend to stay in the closet as long as they're close to their families which they're much more likely to do than American families and see their family & heritage as much a part of their identity as being gay (perhaps more so). I was lovers with a Russian American lesbian who was like that and she found it easier to tell them she'd become an atheist than she was a lesbian (actually I'm not even sure she ever told them the latter). That said even they still have more tolerance and flexibility than those raised in Russia.
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I've never met or spoke to a guy from russia though welcome to GS 
What was it Winston Churchill said "Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" good luck wit that :p
PS - what fruit is a Brit… anyone?
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I don't really know, I only ever knew one Russian guy, and he was far from gay... All I can say is that if he makes small talk by complaining about something, he's probably not really complaining, but just wants to make conversation with you. That is how Eastern Europeans do, at least so I heard. Good luck!
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Advice on dating a Russian gay guy
