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Advice Please!!
#1
Hey there.
I am 17. My boyfriend is currently 24.
We have been dating for over 6 months now and ever since the first time I saw him I fell in love. I knew that he was the person that I wanted to be with. We met online and he was one of the first people I had ever met online. Despite the worries of being older and meeting him for the first time our first time meeting has been fantastic..
The past 5 and a half months have been fantastic. Age was my main worry when deciding to date him but I can honestly say that the past few months have been some of the best months of my life. But now I'm at a point where I need serious advice..

I went away on Holiday over Christmas and New Year of 2013-2014 to America. My boyfriend had been talking to a guy for a few weeks before. I had found out on the 3rd of January, 2014 that he had kissed the guy on New Year. I decided to try and sort it out as soon as I got home but all I did was worry about us.
I decided to forgive him as long as was being honest to me and he came clean. He promised me that it was just a kiss.. But I was wrong. The guy he has met is a massive slag. Also my boyfriend was going to try and book us a hotel to spend the night together on the 8th of January when I got back to work things out, however, I found out that they have had unprotected sex. My boyfriend is clean but imagine if I caught an STD.. I would have been so worried and my life and future could have been ruined..
He has started telling me information, dropping bits such as this guy has met his family and friends before me. And tonight he told me that they had sex on new year.. I broke down in tears and cried for the last 3 hours, throwing up multiple times. He promised me that he wold never hurt me again..
He problem is that I love him. I know that most people would judge me and say "I'm young and immature" but it's quite the opposite. I'm very mature for my age and I know what I want.
It hurts. I don't know what to do and he wants to meet me tomorrow and sort things out. I'm scared that he will hurt me again if I take him back but I can't live my life without him as my boyfriend. He means EVERYTHING to me and I wish that he loved me as much I loved him..
He claims it was a once off sex.. But after telling me had kissed him multiple times before New Years has really shocked me as I thought we had something magical and special.
I don't know what to do. Can anyone please give me some proper guidance and advice. Do I walk away from the best thing that has ever happened in my life or do I stay with him and risk the chance of having my heart broken for the third time in less than 2 weeks.
It seems to myself that whenever I pick myself up, I just get knocked back down. He claims that he wants to win me back and love me but is it too late or do I forgive, forget and give the man of my dreams another chance?
It's unfair as I'm being more mature in this relationship.
But can I continue like this?

I need to emphasise just how much I love this man. He means everything to me and he treats me right when we are together, but I am worried that if I take him back I could just get hurt like what happened this year.. I already know I am going away for new year again this year to Africa.. The most gutting part for me was that he spent new year, the most important day of the year to me with another guy. He knows that.. I just don't know if he really realises what he has done wrong and how much he has hurt me. Do I give him a third chance?

Thanks - Please give me some advice xx
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#2
Hello, dgooks, and Welcome to GaySpeak. So you write on your profile that you are 21 but in reality are 17 and you also say that your boyfriend is 24. You are underage, as far as the law is concerned but old enough for sex apparently. What I don't know about your relationship with your boyfriend is whether you have had sex together already or whether he's been waiting for something to happen in the sex department. If you were waiting and keeping yourselves for a special occasion, it appears he's gone and ruined it. If you had already had sex, and were looking forward to continuing having sex, then now he's had unprotected sex, it means you've both got to wear protection for a while until you've both ascertained that it's safe to go unprotected again. It could be that he's still clean but only a test will tell him and you what his status is. He took a risk, now he's got to pay the consequences.
His fling with this other person doesn't have to mean you are no longer connected or that you no longer have a relationship but it does mean that your couple needs to set some rules. Make sure they are rules that you both agree on and that you can both respect. If one of you breaks them, then the trust will be broken again.
Does your boyfriend also consider you to be his boyfriend or are you just an acquaintance whom he has a romantic attachment with? How can you define your relationship, and have you discussed what you were ready to do for each other and how exclusive you were going to be?
I know you must be feeling hurt and shattered but at least he's been honest with you. You, on the other hand, must now take into account the fact that he can stray. Whether he can be faithful to you now and never stray again is anybody's guess. I certainly would ask him to make sure that he doesn't hurt me further by bringing home an STD. I'd demand that he wear protection with me and with others from now on, at least until we'd regained some of the trust we'd built between us.
Good luck with taking those decisions and finding the strength to keep your sense of self worth and of self respect.
I wonder what your parents would advise you to do... Do you know? Could you ask them?
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