Be Happy being single, then you'll meet someone...

[Drew]

I know how the OP feels, although my own life events are a bit different.

I have friends and they love me and I love them. I have a good job and a roof over my head, I'm slowly getting into the best shape of my life, I like a lot of different things. Yet I still get really, really lonely, when I'm not with said friends or I fall into a funk and isolate myself. It waxes and wanes, the depression. I wish I could vanquish it forever, but you know what always brings it back? Wondering who, what, where, when, and how I'll get a boyfriend.

Now, a lot of guys find me attractive, but it is almost *always* guys I never find attractive back. Or in my age range (they almost always are 45 and over...which isn't "old" per se, and no offense to anyone here that age and over...I just get puzzled as to why no one ever, say, in their late 20's/earlier 30's [my preferred age range] tries to strike up a convo or flirts with me...maybe I'm oblivious but I doubt it).

It's frustrating. I long for those special moments early in the morning, your lover's skin just barely touching yours as the morning sun spills gently over his shoulders, close enough to hear him breathing but just enough distance to take in his beauty visually. I love that. And that's not something a friend can give.

I guess I'm picky, and I know I intentionally create emotional distance with other men (I generally have no problem making friends with gay men, it's going beyond that that is difficult for me). Not sure if I'll ever meet the right guy who brings it all together for me. I

guess the only thing a guy can do is keep on keeping on. Make peace with your frustrations and lean from them. The answers reveal themselves slowly but they are there. You just need to learn to not let the frustrations overwhelm you (I am making progress there).

[princealbertofb]

Nothing wrong with being picky, Drew. After all a man's got to have a quality life and quality sustenance, so why not a quality relationship?

[trywait]

Nothing wrong with being picky, Drew. After all a man's got to have a quality life and quality sustenance, so why not a quality relationship?

it's def not quantity but quality

[BYoNexus]

I'm socially anxious. Whenever I meet someone I like, It floods my mind and I find myself unable to broach the subject of going out or anything of the sort :c

The few times where I've managed to ask someone out, I've been flat out rejected.

With no success, however minor, its hard to stay confident enough to ask others out..

[Bluelight]

I've never been in a relationship myself, and I feel like this sometimes... sometimes I feel happy being single, a lot of the time not so much, but I'm working on it. Today I feel whole and content, but that's only today, I have my good days and bad days. I'm trying to get some more good days, I'm figuring out what makes me happy and what makes me upset, I don't always realize what those things are in my life, and knowing what they are is helpful.

[sitchblap]

i understand all of this... your time will come and you will see everything makes sense. iu need to come out or at least go out and meet some fags in the wold. get real!

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie it all takes time.
You must put yourself out there ,join your local LGBT group ,you would be amazed at how many friends you can make.

Coffee shops and gyms are always great to meet people .

We are all here for you.

[Bluelight]

I know that I already commented on this thread, but I have more to say after reading some of these comments.

Anonymous doesn't need people basically telling him that he has no right to be upset about being lonely; I know all too well what it is like to never have had my feelings returned from anyone who I was ever attracted to, and I know what it is like to have never felt what it is like to be loved in that way while being surrounded by friends who are in relationships. I have had people tell me that I don't know anything about being lonely because I've never had my heart broken, and honestly, that only adds to the frustration, and it creates a sense of exclusion, which is the last thing people look for when they resort to joining on online support forum.

And I will not by any means deny that heartbreak is a terrible thing, but I will say that a constant heart ache hurts like hell, and when that is all you know, you will rather know what it is like to be loved, even if it means a painful heart break in the end.

And you know what? EVERYONE experiences heart break, it's a necessary evil that we grow and learn from. So why tell someone that they should be grateful for their loneliness, which had lasted as long as they have known?