Childhood friend and me....something weird is going on

[Anonymous]

So I'm straight guy so I guess I don't really belong in this site, but I'm gay friendly. I've problem with my friend. We're both 17 years old and we know each other for almost 11 years and we're also classmates. He's a really good friend, we know each other very well. He has pulled me out of so many troubles and I appreciate his friendship very much.

However something strange is happening between us during the last few months. I know I'm straight and I think he's straight too. We've never talked about sexual orientations, but he speaks of girls often, even just few days ago he told me about this sexy girl he saw on the street. But when we're together we're both behaving kind of weird. At school we're sitting together at one desk and sometimes I feel him pressing his leg against mine and I realize I don't want to push him away. If there's no one else around he sometimes ruffles my hair. When I was very distraught about failing in math, he was comforting me, put his arm around my shoulders and got so close to me and again I realized I want to rest my head on his shoulder ( I didn't, though). I've started to notice things about him I didn't care about before - that he has nice hair, long lashes and beautiful eyes.

Then there was this one time at his home when his parents were gone, I had come to him, because we were doing a research project together and we were studying, laughing, telling jokes and then we started to wrestle in a friendly manner. I was real fun and again I understood I don't enjoy it in just friendly way. I liked to feel that he's much stronger than me, to feel him close to me. When I feel bad, I always realize I want him to hold me. And I don't understand how can it happen to a straight guy?

I've never liked him in that way before, I never liked guys that way. I can't talk to him about it, never, it would be too embarrassing, I don't want to show him I like him in a different way. Maybe I should stay away from him for a while? But that would be hard, as we're classmates.

[Complicated]

Hate to break it to ya buuuuttttt im pretty sure you like him as more than just a friend

[Rainbowmum]

First of all there is nothing wrong with how you feel about him or liking the attention and attraction.
Your hormones are all over the place which is natural for a boy your age.

I really do not think staying away from him is going to solve the way you feel.
In the animal kingdom which we are also part of most, if not all are bisexual it's actually the "norm".

Trust your instincts ,don't throw away a long friendship and relax what you are feeling is normal.

[southbiochem]

First, the top poster here, who happened to have posted above me, is a straight woman....GS is a place for anyone, including LGBT-friendly straight people, don't ever say you don't belong here, you are most welcome

From where I stand if you indeed are straight and not at least bi, you do seem to have a deeper emotional attachment towards this guy in particular..

there would be nothing wrong about it, considering how much time you have been developing this friendship.

and from what I see, he seems to correspond that closeness

staying away from it won't solve the "problem"

You know...2 men, straight as they may be, ARE allowed to show emotional closeness towards one another without it being such a big deal and without meaning they have to question their sexuality.

Go with what you feel...if he does something like putting his arm around you, do the same, make him know you appreciate him

I won't go as far as telling you to confess any feeling, but who knows..he may even correspond..

if it doesn't go that far keep him as a friend, if you find out that either yours or his (you usually can tell by the way he looks at you) feelings go a bit beyond that, then and only then you should be honest and talk..(yes, it would be scary, but it wouldn't be wrong at all)

I think the friendship you have with him can survive a situation like this should the subject ever comes up

[philsguy95]

I would never label you anything you didn't feel fit you. I don't feel like people can be defined as anything through a singular, emotional experience, since orientation deals with actual sexual attraction and even so I can't say feeling a pull towards one person of the same gender could constitute genuine bisexuality. Anyway, as far as I can tell, you're a man who has developed a deep, powerful bond with another individual. The gender of this person is irrelevant. If you let this fester and the feelings grow it will be progressively more difficult to have him in your life to a lesser extent than you'll desire, so, as always, the best advice I can offer is to have a frank, open discussion about what you're feeling. Test the waters a tad first, by which I mean possibly bring up the topics you've avoided, just to be absolutely certain you know where you're coming from and get a small sense of where his head/heart may potentially be at. Good luck with all this!

[Woollyhats]

I don't understand how that can happen to a straight guy either. Maybe you'll want to consider yourself hetero romantic...

More to the point, you have a crush. Fairly basic; it's going to feel more confusing because it's on a guy, which is uncommon for you. It's not a terrible thing - you can still be friends! You might need some comfortable distance though.

He might even have a crush back. Many straight people realize they're not quite straight when it comes to a Special someone, and it's not uncommon for those people to date. If your friend ever does show feelings back, be candid with him.

As it is, if you want the no risk route you're going to have to ignore the crush. If you want to be honest, you'll have to consider that your friendship will change. Whichever decision is up to you. I will point out though that your friendship is going to change no matter what on account of your crush.

And for that I'm sorry. But on the same note, that doesn't mean that this is a bad thing..

[Dreamer]

Don't sweat it, and don't question it. Just let it be. There's no reason to distance yourself from him. You're both young, and very close to one another. If things turn sexual, it doesn't necessarily mean you're gay, but even if you or him happened to be, there would be nothing wrong with that either.


My best friend today is straight, and when we were in 6th grade, when we met, all the way towards our mid-teens, we fooled around sexually. It was pure innocent and we didn't put labels on things.


People straight or gay, tend to experiment when they're young, and get feelings for one another (especially close friends), regardless of gender. It's not gay, and it's not straight... quite frankly, it's human.

[Ashy]

Personally you sound like you are developing a deep emotional bond with your childhood friend, but that is nothing to be afraid of.
What you are experiencing in my opinion is that of a protective bond, a sort of multi-level friendship that has extended to that of comfort on many different forms that you have described.
I think the friendship that you have with him is amazing !
I assume it makes you feel safe and secure, as well as kept in line and in sight.
You shouldn't fear this bond that you have, I'm a gay guy and I've had a very similar bond with a girl. Its just a higher level of experience and awareness. I never told the girl that I felt this bond, and its been five years and I still haven't told her and we are completely fine.
I don't believe that you have to tell your friend, obviously the friendship between you too is perfect the way it is, its just that you two are more comfortable with mutual affection.
Don't stress, just enjoy the friendship that you have, a million people would kill for that kind of mutual affection (:

[Undreamt]

Stop worrying about labels, they can come later when you know what you have ans what you want.

Just because you are straight, doesn't mean that you always have to be straight.
I had a girlfriend for two years, that doesn't prevent me from being gay now.

If you are that worried, talk about it with your friend, but if I was you, just enjoy it for what it is.

[Will101]

I know that feel bro. Haha
Well first of all... I do think you like him more than a friend! I mean have you read what you Just wrote? It is almost a love song! Lol you want him, and you want him CLOSE. So give your hart a break, and let it feel. Also i would recommend you to...before talk with him about your feelings get to know HIS feelings better. Don't hurry the things up. If you want to Play it safe and wait to more signals you could. And don't torture your self. It is JUST LOOOOOVEEE BUDDYYYYYY