11-24-2013, 05:13 PM
I know how the OP feels, although my own life events are a bit different.
I have friends and they love me and I love them. I have a good job and a roof over my head, I'm slowly getting into the best shape of my life, I like a lot of different things. Yet I still get really, really lonely, when I'm not with said friends or I fall into a funk and isolate myself. It waxes and wanes, the depression. I wish I could vanquish it forever, but you know what always brings it back? Wondering who, what, where, when, and how I'll get a boyfriend.
Now, a lot of guys find me attractive, but it is almost *always* guys I never find attractive back. Or in my age range (they almost always are 45 and over...which isn't "old" per se, and no offense to anyone here that age and over...I just get puzzled as to why no one ever, say, in their late 20's/earlier 30's [my preferred age range] tries to strike up a convo or flirts with me...maybe I'm oblivious but I doubt it).
It's frustrating. I long for those special moments early in the morning, your lover's skin just barely touching yours as the morning sun spills gently over his shoulders, close enough to hear him breathing but just enough distance to take in his beauty visually. I love that. And that's not something a friend can give.
I guess I'm picky, and I know I intentionally create emotional distance with other men (I generally have no problem making friends with gay men, it's going beyond that that is difficult for me). Not sure if I'll ever meet the right guy who brings it all together for me. I
guess the only thing a guy can do is keep on keeping on. Make peace with your frustrations and lean from them. The answers reveal themselves slowly but they are there. You just need to learn to not let the frustrations overwhelm you (I am making progress there).
I have friends and they love me and I love them. I have a good job and a roof over my head, I'm slowly getting into the best shape of my life, I like a lot of different things. Yet I still get really, really lonely, when I'm not with said friends or I fall into a funk and isolate myself. It waxes and wanes, the depression. I wish I could vanquish it forever, but you know what always brings it back? Wondering who, what, where, when, and how I'll get a boyfriend.
Now, a lot of guys find me attractive, but it is almost *always* guys I never find attractive back. Or in my age range (they almost always are 45 and over...which isn't "old" per se, and no offense to anyone here that age and over...I just get puzzled as to why no one ever, say, in their late 20's/earlier 30's [my preferred age range] tries to strike up a convo or flirts with me...maybe I'm oblivious but I doubt it).
It's frustrating. I long for those special moments early in the morning, your lover's skin just barely touching yours as the morning sun spills gently over his shoulders, close enough to hear him breathing but just enough distance to take in his beauty visually. I love that. And that's not something a friend can give.
I guess I'm picky, and I know I intentionally create emotional distance with other men (I generally have no problem making friends with gay men, it's going beyond that that is difficult for me). Not sure if I'll ever meet the right guy who brings it all together for me. I
guess the only thing a guy can do is keep on keeping on. Make peace with your frustrations and lean from them. The answers reveal themselves slowly but they are there. You just need to learn to not let the frustrations overwhelm you (I am making progress there).