Catchy double-entendre of a title aside, what i'm really wondering is about the whole long-distance thing.
How far away is too far away??
How seldom can you really see someone for it to be worthwhile??
Basically, has anyone on here actually managed to make a long-distance relationship work??
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Yes, for the last five years and for the foreseeable future. We're over 600 miles apart for too much of the time, but we are together for about a week most months although we talk several times a week, and chat, e-mail, and/or text every day, often several times. We spoke for a couple of hours on the phone this afternoon.
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Interesting question! It is not as much the distance as it is the connection you have with the other person and how often you get too see each other, spend time together ect. Can be in the same town and not see or talk with someone for 10 days or so. To make a long distance relationship work i believe it needs maturity and life experience. On that note a relationship of that kind is an experience itself whether one wants to pursue it or not is i guess, a personal choice.
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marshlander Wrote:Yes, for the last five years and for the foreseeable future. We're over 600 miles apart for too much of the time, but we are together for about a week most months although we talk several times a week, and chat, e-mail, and/or text every day, often several times. We spoke for a couple of hours on the phone this afternoon.
And those couple of hours this afternoon were just what I needed, thank you so much my darling... I felt more serene after having written the letter and discussed it with you and the Divine Miss M.
In answer to your question, yes I think LDR can work, but you've got to make them work. It's (almost) a daily commitment. What would you say, Marsh?
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Very timely question.
I seem to be one for the extremely distant relationships.
They are all agonizing but also pure bliss.
To get a PM or PING or ring or box or to send the same... just that little touch becomes so important.
The oddest thing is that even over thousands of miles you are still able to feel like your partner is just in the next room or about to open the door and ya dont miss a beat.
It really is a mind trip so if you are into those then I highly recommend them 
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I concur - I've had LDR's with guys from the USA, England and Wales, and none of them have failed for the distance - I think it depends on how the parties work together ... you could be in a local relationship and your partner might have to go away for business or something - you wouldn't necessarily bring your relationship to an end on that basis - so it's also a question of how you look at it ...
... for example ... is it always going to be a LDR ? Or do you (both) have plans to change that ??
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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It's odd, i don't really mind the PHYSICAL aspect of the distance, i actually quite like the idea of him not seeing my twice and three times a week or sometimes every day and it just being (by the looks of it) whenever either of us has a holiday/sufficient fundage to travel. I don't mind travelling either, long as i'm not flying, cos i have my knitting. (Whoever decided knitting needles belong on the no-fly list is perhaps the world's greatest moron. But that's another topic ENTIRELY...) Think i'd appreciate him more when i see him this way.
No what i really meant to ask about was the emotional aspects. Not so much that i'll not see him often, but it's not like when your partner who lives near you goes away on business, cos u generally have a date for when they'll get back or just not having seen them for awhile cos if they live near you it's easy enough to get to see them. I guess i'm daunted by the idea of not being able to just pick up the phone and say 'what you up to?? wanna come round??', its the idea of knowing he's far away and i won't see him for weeks and weeks i don't like.
I'm also kinda worried that when we DO see each other it'll all be about sex, like we're gonna miss out on having an actual relationship cos if things work out the way they're looking like they will we'll be seeing each other for maybe two two/three days at a stretch every three months or so. I'd hate for visits just to become some kind of booty quest...
*whew*
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sox-and-the-city Wrote:... No what i really meant to ask about was the emotional aspects. ... its the idea of knowing he's far away and i won't see him for weeks and weeks i don't like. There are days when that aspect of a ldr is REALLY tough. I can't pretend otherwise. When Albert and I were first seeing each other I would often come back to England not knowing when my next visit would be. That was terrible. A couple of years ago I made a decision that I was not going to take any work during the second week of the month and I would spend that time in France (July and December sometimes need to be a bit flexible though). At least now we know when we are going to see each other. Even if I have curtailed my earning ability it's worth it to me. I've usually booked two or three flights ahead.
Quote:I'm also kinda worried that when we DO see each other it'll all be about sex, ... I'd hate for visits just to become some kind of booty quest...
And what's wrong with that? :redface: You will both want the kind of affirmation that sex can bring. Still you are right to be thinking about it, because a relationship needs nurturing with all kinds of good stuff, not just the sex ... So, make a plan where you have to do something that involves getting out of bed ... sometimes  . Book tickets for a show, invite friends round for a meal, go out for a walk ... whatever you do, don't forget to make time to talk to each other. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
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marshlander Wrote:There are days when that aspect of a ldr is REALLY tough. I can't pretend otherwise. When Albert and I were first seeing each other I would often come back to England not knowing when my next visit would be. That was terrible. A couple of years ago I made a decision that I was not going to take any work during the second week of the month and I would spend that time in France (July and December sometimes need to be a bit flexible though). At least now we know when we are going to see each other. Even if I have curtailed my earning ability it's worth it to me. I've usually booked two or three flights ahead.
And what's wrong with that? :redface: You will both want the kind of affirmation that sex can bring. Still you are right to be thinking about it, because a relationship needs nurturing with all kinds of good stuff, not just the sex ... So, make a plan where you have to do something that involves getting out of bed ... sometimes . Book tickets for a show, invite friends round for a meal, go out for a walk ... whatever you do, don't forget to make time to talk to each other. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
Now they all know why you are TOTALLY worth while, my sweetheart... I just love you soooooooo much (    )
PS I've just noticed: I've gone from beyond godly to changeable user title... hehehe
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sox-and-the-city Wrote:No what i really meant to ask about was the emotional aspects. Not so much that i'll not see him often, but it's not like when your partner who lives near you goes away on business, cos u generally have a date for when they'll get back or just not having seen them for awhile cos if they live near you it's easy enough to get to see them. I guess i'm daunted by the idea of not being able to just pick up the phone and say 'what you up to?? wanna come round??', its the idea of knowing he's far away and i won't see him for weeks and weeks i don't like.
There are times when it's really hard, yep ... cuddling a piece of plastic to your ear (your phone) isn't the same as snuggling up beside the one you love - never will be ... but as you've said yourself earlier on in the post I cited (above), sometimes a little distance can also be a good thing, as it prevents (in some ways) things from stagnating - every time you see them is going to be special, non ?
... but yeah - emotionally it can be quite a heavy burden.
xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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