Billington Wrote:How prevalent is this attitude amongst the gay community? Coz I find that really worrying!
I've been getting really hung up over the fact that we seem to love shoving people into boxes. As a few of you know I went through a bit of a phase of wanting to put myself in either the "gay" box or "bi" box... and just as I'm getting very comfortable with not really being in a box, it comes as quite a surprise to hear that there are gay people with such views.
I mean, I already was very aware of quite lot of "heterophobia" amongst gay people (I've actualy been a so-called "victim" of it in the past), but I just assumed bi people would just fit in amongst other "fully gay" people?????
I wouldn't say it's MASSIVELY widespread, but it's more than just a handful of people babe ... and yeah, I agree, that IS worrying.
My rl friends know me as being quite a fan of saying (and I totally agree with you on this) that it is, in MY view, one of the downsides of the modern age that we seem to feel the need TO compartmentalise ourselves so as to fit in with a particular group or group/s.
I fear sometimes that it restricts your growth as a complete, whole and healthy individual, to fixate solely upon ANY one aspect of your life, regardless of what that may be ... so I prefer to think of myself as a happy, healthy person who happens to be gay, rather than a homo first and foremost ...
Our sexuality is naturally a very fundamental part of our lives, but aren't we more than that ?
So I agree with things like Gayspeak, where people of like-mind can come together to share experiences, develop friendships and help support each other from time to time, but I wouldn't look to join anything more regimented, as I think that misses the mark somewhat.
... but perhaps that's just me ...
BiPenny Wrote:Thanks for the word of support shadow!
I'm not sure why there seems to be so much (in my experience) hostility between homosexuals and bisexuals. Perhaps because, particularly in the case of women, bisexuality is more widely accepted than being a lesbian? I know some lesbians disagree with it because they see it as a porn approach to girl on girl action - I.E. they believe a bisexual girl goes with women only as part of threesome/orgy in order to impress men and improve pulling power.
My colleague claims he believes bisexauls are A) just greedy and B) not fully in acceptance of their sexuality (gay) yet.
Can't really comment on hostility towards Bi men as I haven't really had close experience with it, in fact I'm not really aware of ever properly knowing a bi guy!! Never thought of that til now!!!
If people dislike what I am thats there problem as long as they don't activly get in the way of me living my life. I feel I get on with both gay and straight people as well as each other.
Any more thoughts?
I do actually yep
mile: - when I was made aware of one of my mate's dislike of bisexuals I actually DEMANDED of him that he explain to me why he was adopting such a thoroughly unreasonable stance, and his answer was "I could handle a man leaving me for another man, but I could never cope with him leaving me for a woman" ...
... so I think that certainly in
his case, it was his own insecurity about potentially
competing with a woman that fuelled his dislike of (male) bisexuals ... it was his fear of accepting that if his lover were to wake up one morning and decide he wanted to settle down with a girl and have children, then (my mate) would have nothing to offer to compete ...
... and whilst I feel sorry for him for feeling that way, I really don't think his stance was supportable ... I mean, just because bisexual people are ABLE to find both sexes sexually attractive, DOES NOT MEAN that you will wake up one day and suddenly think "you know what love ? I'm fed up with you, I'm going to dump you and automatically go with somebody of the opposite gender" - to even SUGGEST that in my mind is to slur the bisexual community with a baseless and inappropriate remark that they just don't deserve !
It's weird, but I actually do feel really strongly supportive of bisexuality ?
I think history itself proves that bisexuality has been around since time immemorial (look at Ancient Greek and Roman practices), and IS (and I am adamant that I'm right on this) the most logical approach to sex and sexuality that I've come across, because it's the ONLY sexual bracket that ISN'T exclusive, and embraces the DIVERSITY that is the human race.
I don't know whether I'd choose to be bisexual personally, as I think the double-edge to it is that you can sometimes feel really torn, but I certainly don't have ANY problem with it AT all, and I routinely pull people up about it if they do (and I'm really not like that - ask WLM - I'm a push-over :redface
.
xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!