02-17-2014, 01:05 AM
Not sure whatâs going on with me lately â Iâm probably in a Valentineâs Day funk or something.
Background: the gay scene where I live (despite being a capital city) is pretty dire â very clichéd and cliquey (Iâm too skinny/young to be a bear and too fat/ugly/etc to be a twink). And my gay social circle is fairly limited â essentially my experience has been guys are only interested in friendship if they want to fuck you as well. And since I am too old/fat/ugly/hairy etcâ¦..well, you get the drift.
Basically at the moment am kind of in a âavoid gay guysâ kind of mood. A gay friend of mine recently got together with a new boyfriend and is apparently throwing some party to introduce friends to said boyfriend. Really and truly I canât bring myself to even go. I am single and donât want to be; it pisses me off that said friend is a million times more good looking than me and for quite a long time didnât frequent the scene but then of course found a boyfriend within two seconds. And hereâs me on countless crappy dates with crap men. Thatâs when guys arenât telling me that I am a visual abominationâ¦.
Anyway, as a result I canât even bring myself to go to this party. Our other mutual friends are all going on about the new boyfriend *all the time* and going âoh, itâs so nice that heâs found someoneâ. And yes, I *should* be happy but the whole ânew bfâ thing is really a sore point for me at the moment. I don't particularly feel like going and making stupid conversation with the new bf because the guy will no doubt be all "oh, so why don't you go out on the scene then?" as if I'm some kind of idiot with no brain cells just because I don't go in bars that make me feel like utter shit about myself.
Sorry - it's not really in need of advice, more like a rant
Background: the gay scene where I live (despite being a capital city) is pretty dire â very clichéd and cliquey (Iâm too skinny/young to be a bear and too fat/ugly/etc to be a twink). And my gay social circle is fairly limited â essentially my experience has been guys are only interested in friendship if they want to fuck you as well. And since I am too old/fat/ugly/hairy etcâ¦..well, you get the drift.
Basically at the moment am kind of in a âavoid gay guysâ kind of mood. A gay friend of mine recently got together with a new boyfriend and is apparently throwing some party to introduce friends to said boyfriend. Really and truly I canât bring myself to even go. I am single and donât want to be; it pisses me off that said friend is a million times more good looking than me and for quite a long time didnât frequent the scene but then of course found a boyfriend within two seconds. And hereâs me on countless crappy dates with crap men. Thatâs when guys arenât telling me that I am a visual abominationâ¦.
Anyway, as a result I canât even bring myself to go to this party. Our other mutual friends are all going on about the new boyfriend *all the time* and going âoh, itâs so nice that heâs found someoneâ. And yes, I *should* be happy but the whole ânew bfâ thing is really a sore point for me at the moment. I don't particularly feel like going and making stupid conversation with the new bf because the guy will no doubt be all "oh, so why don't you go out on the scene then?" as if I'm some kind of idiot with no brain cells just because I don't go in bars that make me feel like utter shit about myself.
Sorry - it's not really in need of advice, more like a rant