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Unsure boyfriend :(
#11
Wow... I mean "ouch". You are right, maybe I forced him to say things that were not the matter. Also I havent mentioned if Im bottom or top bc Im inexperienced in that matter. You are right, I messed up in my own way... I dont know what will happen now. I sent him a big message this morning, read it and havent replied, he is at school so I understand. I'll just try to talk about us again and see what happens. I'll update if anything happens.
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#12
He asked "What if something happen between us, how would things turn out? Would we still be friends? Would we still hang out?"

Taken at face value, this could mean that he's reconsidering whether he wants to be in a committed relationship. The emotions are real, but now that he's had time to think about what he's signing up for, it's kind of scary.

It also would kind of surprise me to find that at 18 he's really so sure that he's a bottom. At 20, you're not sure, and for me, it was quite a few years before I realized I was.
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#13
That's one of the things he said, that he doesn't feel like he is ready for a commited relationship... Ugh I dont know what to do! Should I try to talk to him again?
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#14
If he loves you like he says he does he will manage.

Sex is important, sure, but hardly the most relevant aspect of a relationship

No one should have to make you feel like that if they say they love you.

If he can't, it's his problem, his loss and no blame on your part.

He's young, so he will stumble a few times before learning what relationships are all about.
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#15
EJ13 Wrote:That's one of the things he said, that he doesn't feel like he is ready for a commited relationship...

Now we're finally getting to the bottom (npi) of it. Have you put any serious thought into whether you're ready for a committed relationship? Have you discussed an open relationship with him? Clearly you don't want to lose him, and it sounds like he may feel the same.
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#16
Well, he just called me and he talked to me like nothing happened yesterday... I asked him again and he said that he loves me and always will but he doesnt know what he is doing. And that he is very sorry for everything and for getting my hopes up.

@questioning All I dream of is to be in a commited relationship, but maybe thats what he doesnt want... Open relationship? I havent talked to him about it, Idk how that would work out though. And no, I dont want to lose him and seems like he doesnt want to lose me neither. But I dont know what to do/say. I just dont want him or anyone to feel sorry for me in any way, so idk if I want to keep up a friendship. Ugh Im very confused and feel crappy...
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#17
I'd probably give him a day or two and give him some space.
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#18
Definitely will do that. The thing is that he contacts me though... ugh I dont want to lose him Sad
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#19
Wow... he really is an idiot and an immature guy. I tried talking to him and he just didnt care anymore about anything! Not me nor us! He said that he NEEDS a big penis for a relationship to work. Since he was so stubborn and stupid, I told him that I want nothing to do with him, not even a friendship and he just said: "Well, ok. Bye". Just like that so he NEVER really cared about me, he just wanted to have fun and do naughty stuff with me... Oh well, moving on then. Its not easy Sad but I have no other choice.
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#20
EJ13 Wrote:That's one of the things he said, that he doesn't feel like he is ready for a commited relationship... Ugh I dont know what to do! Should I try to talk to him again?

Sorry I haven't seen this thread in two days... My bad.

What should you do?

Hang with him, and strive to be friends first and foremost. Stop trying to force him to be a lover.

There is this saying about if you love something let it go... Try it.

I don't mean totally turn your back on him, but I mean if you really love him, care for him stop trying to force him to enter into a committed relationship.

Sadly there are no assurances in life no matter what we do. He may not be willing to commit to YOU someone else, sure... but you? No, why? Because he values what you two already have, this friendship.

Don't underestimate or downplay the power of a friendship. humans need those as much if not more so than lovers. Having someone you can relate to, tell your secrets to, hang out with without all of the sexual tension is often a lot more meaningful to a person than having a sex-partner.

Since you don't know your preferred role in bed, then his telling you he is a bottom is most likely his acknowledging that you don't about yourself, but he knows about himself and he doesn't think that if you decide that your preferred role in bed is bottom that this relationship is going to work out well.

Yes I know, you have all of those emotions and desires and wants and stuff going on. However you have the front part of your brain, that rational, reasoning part - bring it to play here. Yes its hard since love take place in the animal part and the animal part of the brain is huge, and older and knows how to survive over the fore brain.

I strongly suggest that you hook up for a coffee or whatever you two do as friends - no sex involved and let him talk about his feelings and stop second guessing what he means.

He is most likely as uncertain and full of emotions as you are. He is most likely struggling with his own brand of love, and may actually want to be in a lovers situation with you, but is terrified that it won't work out and not only will he lose a lover but he will lose his best friend as well.

And stop worrying about your dick. Honestly it ain't that small, and a lot of guys actually prefer smaller since it does less damage to the anus. Yeah I know, porn.... Actually go back in your head and count how many times a really large dick in a bottoms butt leads to the bottom maintaining a hardon.

Those grunts, whimpers and moans are not pleasure, they are pain... There is a fine line between 'Oh My God!' as an expression of pleasure and "Oh My God!' as an expression of pain.... Most of those porn videos with bottoms guys getting their guts rearranged by Mr. Horse Dick is usually suffering, thus they are working their hand real hard to get 'something' in the way of pleasure from that.

Also understand that the only place in the anus a dick, a finger a traffic cone feels nice is on the prostrate, which is around one inch up in there - If you learn how to hit that spot with your dick and keep massaging that area with what you got, I assure you every bottom will absolutely positively love what you got to offer.

Its the skill of the top, not the size of his endowments that really matter in end. Xyxthumbs
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