Can't tell if he's interested.

[Axanderb]

I've been talking to this very attractive guy i met at work (we no longer work together as he left for new employment.) And I've had a crush on him ever since i first saw him and struck up a conversation. He's so friggen adorable

We've been hanging out at the bar and have talked via text and facebook chat quite regularly for the last few months. This past sunday I took him to my favorite restaurant and we just talked all night. We were both all laughs and giggles and the conversation only took a dive to silence maybe 3 times...It seemed like everything was gold. I told him afterward that he has to take me to his favorite restaurant next...he agreed and talked about where he likes to go for food. I dropped him off at his house, made sure he got in ok...and he texted me "text me when you get home"

But what makes me doubt his interest is that during the date he brought up his ex, brought up talking to guys at the bar, but in the same token told me he was ready for a relationship. I also found out that he made out with one of our mutual friends, it didn't upset me but it made me doubt a few things. No judgement passed but i'm really struggling to figure this kid out.

[Woollyhats]

Tell him you're interested and want something more. It seems like he is leaving the initiative to you. He has said he is ready for a relationship, and you've built something with him. Try to take it further.

[southbiochem]

He is, in my view telling you he is interested and making you know he has choices at the same time..perhaps to interest you into making a move and going for it?..

I would assume that's why he brought up the bar thing, cause other than that "text me when you get home" and "I'm ready for a relationship" are green lights!

[Kackerlacka]

Ahh, ive had these same complications with my gf dude. Listen up...You need to just tell him like wolly and south said. Not much more you can do. If you tell him you want more form him, but he says nothing too you. You need to ask him what he thinks about it. Thats what I did wrong with my gf. I told her I liked her and blah blah blah, and when I was done she never told me her feelings. I was so upset and thought she didnt like me. Until about a few days later I was tired of not knowing for sure, and I asked her and it turned out she liked me a lot too and was too afraid to say anything at all. And now here we are dating in a relationship! ! Just go for it buddy! you got it. Remember you tell him, and if he does not tell u his feelings he is probably just nervous or shy. So go ahead and ask him too how he feels! It looks like you have a great chance if you as me! Keep us updated! bets of luck!

[Axanderb]

Thank you. for your responses.

My hesitations lie in the fact that I want to keep him as a friend if he doesn't return the feelings. I'm scared of chasing him away you know. He's a really great guy and has been an awesome friend to me in the past few months. I'm nervous of loosing that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Exe's - eventually we all have them. Its really difficult to acknowledge that we are looking at potential new love without reflecting on old love. Furthermore, you may not like to here this but pretty much everyone carries a tiny spark for their ex. "WE" lived a life together, WE shared experiences - We..... All of that we definitely leaves an impact on 'I'...

Bringing up the past when doing the 'this is me, this is what I did' part of dating is going to include past relationships because WE affected I....

If he only had one relationship and is relatively new (ergo inexperienced) he may not understand where mere mentioning should end. Again, WE did all of this stuff, and like it or not that stuff there, however 'I' has to figure out how to compartmentalize and separate 'I' from the 'We' when dealing with others, especially prospective new mates.

Trust me, that is not very easy to do in many cases.

"I made out with ____________"

Well that simple statement there may cause you to focus on ___________ and him kissing, but the reality is he is attempting to demonstrate honesty, but letting you know NOW that there was this minor thing between him and ____________.

I don't know your circle, but circles tend to gossip and eventually this little fact is going to come up, so telling you NOW will save face for everyone involved when one of your buddies in your circle half drunkenly gossips to you about your BF forgetting for the moment that you are now his current BF.

You are friends moving toward an uncertain future. Mistakes are going to be made on either side of this. I can pretty much guarantee that your desire to not break the friendship and lose that is exactly what he is feeling too. No one like to lose a friend, and 'what if' we don't work out as a couple means that there is a very serious (and often certain) end to that friendship.

And being friends means he may be struggling with how to now turn conversations from things friends would talk about to what would lovers talk about. I hate to tell this, but the nature of what you all discuss is going to change, you both may not be s open and honest about stuff with a lover as you would a friend. Everyone does that.

[Sylph]

This is how you know




Sappy, I know, but hey! Sometimes sappy is right lol

[Axanderb]

lol sylph you're always able to make me laugh .

I think the next time we go out just the two of us I'll try to talk to him about this. I hope if his feelings aren't the same that we can still be friends....I don't think i'd have a problem with being just friends but I'm nervous that me telling him how I feel will scare him.

UGGH...dating is so shitty. You meet people who WoW you....and revealing your feelings could remove them from your life and I SOOOOOOO don't want to deal with that again.

[Evan88]

I guess some guys who date are really like that..they keep their options open.

But i guess, he's hinting you to make a big move.. i think he told you those things: about the bar and the statement he's ready for a relationship, so that you can act fast..

[driftwood]

But what makes me doubt his interest is that during the date he brought up his ex, brought up talking to guys at the bar, but in the same token told me he was ready for a relationship.

Doubts? - It depends on the context -
Sometimes people mention ex's just to let you know they're ex's, Means now he's available. Talked to guys at bar means he's looking, but he's with you - could mean he's found what he's looking for
You're the one he's telling he's ready for a relationship. He made out with some guy, but he's not with him; he's with you.

Don't over-analyze. I see nothing but green lights.