He's 18, I'm 36. How to tell him nothing is possible?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sending mixed messages. If he understands it that way, that's already his problem. I've told him thousand times - you're too young for me, I'm not interested. However he doesn't seem to hear it.

I don't think there's something wrong with wanting to be with a man like myself, not child.

[Killzone]

Just be sociable and keep some boundaries between each other. probably make sure you don't socialise on a one to one basis without others being involved. He either has a kind of crush which he needs to grow out of, or needs to maybe is more curious about a gay life in general. Either way it will wear off over time.

[matty7]

So u want him as a freind? but if hes too young as you say then why keep him as a mate,

[lukeito12]

When I was at your friend's age, I have always admired my PE teacher during high school. He is gentle, handsome and charismatic. I have tried to express how much I love him and want to start relationship with him but failed to do so. Because I was not sure if he had same feeling like me. And he didnt tell me either. We kept guessing and ended I graduated. And we are indeed miss this path of life.

So, please tell him straight and how you feel about him. Maybe miracle will happen when he has same faith on you. Sometimes, it is good to have communicate each other rather than guessing. Beside time is money, it is also for nurturing you two relationship stage.

[Cuddly]

Hi, I'm Cuddly.

I feel as if I've been spamming my life-story on these forums. So if you've read it before, feel free to skip it
I was 17 when I met my husbear (47) online. We've been together for 7 years now. Being attracted to bears as a teenager makes finding a partner of your own age exceptionally difficult (if not, in fact, entirely impossible), but aside from the physical aspect of the age difference (hairier stockier whatever) there's this amazingly attractive property called experience. One of many factors that often have me falling in love with my husbear all over again is this infinite well of wisdom he seems to be carrying around. He knows so much about so many things and has seen almost everything there is to see in this world. And I absolutely love hearing about it. I can listen to him talking about his trips to <country> and what amazing foods and sights that place had to offer, for hours and hours!

I can understand that you aren't interested in dating a guy who could be your son. But please believe me when I tell you; 30+(40+, 50+, 60+ ..) are attractive. Some of us, in spite of being gay and caught up in all things glamorous, have the hots for realistic old daddies, with hairy beer-bellies. I'm sure it will be hurtful for him to be rejected by you, but if you're not into that kind of relationship, then that's the only way.

[Chimpy]

I'm not sure this is the correct advice, but dude you have a free ticket to love and care for an 18 year old. who feels the same way. How many people get that opportunity? Take it and see where it goes. Just my 2 pence.

[freelandia]

"Nothing is impossible, but you're going to have a HELL of a time, on many levels, but if you love me, we'll try to work out the hard times."

[Letmar]

hmm it sounds to me like you are more scared of him, than him of you... yes, he is young and naive and all that, but that is he's biggest advantage!

you know how shitty it actually feels to be heart broken... ergo, you are the one who is scared... not him! how could he?! he is only hopeful and perseverant... can't blame him for that.

I am 28 now, but I've had proper love stories with older blokes... when I was 15 I went out with a guy who was 21... it was HAWT to be with someone who looked and felt so much like a man (me being 15 and all) then when I was 21 I went out with a guy who was 35 at the time... and we had an amazing ride, I met his parents, we traveled together, sex was mind blowing, and so were our conversations... the whole thing... brilliant!

so... i guess my point is... if you are not interested, let him know... he will bounce back in a minute! but if the issue is fear of being hurt by the way his life develops and the possibility of him leaving you after a few years... then we need to start a whole new discussion here...

[freelandia]

the possibility of him leaving you after a few years... then we need to start a whole new discussion here...

That's also the brutal truth of it. We're glad you pointed out the other side of the coin.

[Chimpy]

In principle I think it is fine. You care about him and he cares about you and that is all that should matter.

However - (a) people will judge you harshly as he is so young. Can you live with that? (b) when he's in his 40s, you'll be close to retiring and drawing a pension.

10 years difference is definitely workable - almost 20? It's a toughie.