He's 18, I'm 36. How to tell him nothing is possible?

[Anonymous]

I never date guys so much younger. That's my principle.

Yes, I care about him, but in a friendly way. All this time nothing has changed, he's so persistent, that I just don't know what to do. I tried to turn his attention to other nice guys of his age, however he keeps coming back to me and asking me out. I've already thought about moving to another city just to not meet him again.

[Arkansota]

I need an advice about a complicated situation in my life. I'm receiving a lot of attention from a guy who's much younger than I am. He's 18, I'm 36. When we met, he was first very shy, then more friendly and finally he asked me if I'm gay. When I said I am, he then said he's gay too and he likes me very much.We have to see each other pretty much every day and he always comes up to me, asking me how am I and what are my plans for the evening. He has asked me out so many times I can't even count. I really don't understand what has he found in me, actually he should be disgusted, I'm old enough to be his father.

I've already told him that nothing will ever be between us, as our age difference is too big and he always says that age is just a number. I asked him why doesn't he go out with guys of his age and he said they are all boring and just want sex.

I really don't want to hurt him and his feelings, because he's a nice guy, but I need him to stop all this attention. He's just hurting himself. I believe partners should be more or less the same age and I just want him to understand it.

18 years is too big? LOL 18 years is nothing in the gay community.

[Arkansota]

In principle I think it is fine. You care about him and he cares about you and that is all that should matter.

However - (a) people will judge you harshly as he is so young. Can you live with that? (b) when he's in his 40s, you'll be close to retiring and drawing a pension.

10 years difference is definitely workable - almost 20? It's a toughie.

Speak for yourself, please. For some people, 50 years is workable. For others, 10 years is a toughie.

[Chimpy]

Speak for yourself, please.

I was. I try to start my messages with "I think" or "In my opinion" to make that clear. I also meant it was "a tough question for me to answer". I apologise for any confusion.

[Arkansota]

I was. I try to start my messages with "I think" or "In my opinion" to make that clear. I also meant it was "a tough question for me to answer". I apologise for any confusion.

Thanks for clearing that up.

[Charon]

I was exceptional, I was 13 and took my first lover when he was 43. Lasted 16 years until he was killed in a plane crash. The point is, we both wanted each other. YOU don't want him and, as many have said, convincing him of that is going to be like playfully slapping water at Gibraltar in the hope of making a cave. You're going to have to verge on being rude and dismissive. Give him no hope of their being anything ever. Don't thank him for his attention, just tell him to, please, go away and not become a stalker. You say you have to be in proximity to him frequently, make those times when you are with another person and tell them, in advance, precisely what the problem is.

He's 18 and has a crush. He'll be heartbroken for a few days when it doesn't work out...that's happened to most of us. And then he'll find the next person, develop a crush...but it won't be you.

[Baby]

Oh , and I just wanna point out that the age difference thing isn't that uncommon in the 'gay-world' either

There's a 8 year age gap between my boyfriend and I. When we first started dating, I was 17 and he was 25, which I suppose doesn't sound too bad. Next year, he'll be 30... Which sounds really old to me... Especially since I'll be 22/23... Haha.

[Chimpy]

There's a 8 year age gap between my boyfriend and I. When we first started dating, I was 17 and he was 25, which I suppose doesn't sound too bad. Next year, he'll be 30... Which sounds really old to me... Especially since I'll be 22/23... Haha.

When I was in my twenties, 30 sounded old. Now 30 sounds young :\