Ok, so I have a problem but don't know exactly how to specify it so the text below probably sounds quite chaotic.
I think I have a kind of obsession which makes difficult for me to interact with people. I'm insecure and suspicious if someone doesn't know I'm gay so even if I barely know other person I immediately try to confess it.
But it makes me nervous, my heart is beating faster, my voice is shivery and body shakes slightly.
Most of the time I find courage to come out but it costs me a lot. I don't know why.
Then, for example I said my grandparents that I'm gay but I'd like to say more about it but I'm nervous again and usually resign. My colleagues at university and some lecturers know I'm gay but even though I'm still uncomfortable.
For a few months I even had a rainbow bracelet and exercise book with pictures of half naked men for everyone to see. I know, it's pathetic but I think I wouldn't feel good until the whole world will know I'm gay :frown:.
So basically I think I have two problems: I can't stop showing people I'm gay but on the other hand I can't fight off the anxiety.
Today I had a presentation to present and obviously I put a picture of two kissing guys on my desktop for everyone to see. I felt a bit nervous about it but I really felt guilty that I didn't choose a topic about gay issues (because it could be everything). Although everyone probably knows I'm gay becuase I made a lesson about gay rights last year but I thought everyone forgot.
Sometimes I really think I'm going crazy :frown:.
I think I have a kind of obsession which makes difficult for me to interact with people. I'm insecure and suspicious if someone doesn't know I'm gay so even if I barely know other person I immediately try to confess it.
But it makes me nervous, my heart is beating faster, my voice is shivery and body shakes slightly.
Most of the time I find courage to come out but it costs me a lot. I don't know why.
Then, for example I said my grandparents that I'm gay but I'd like to say more about it but I'm nervous again and usually resign. My colleagues at university and some lecturers know I'm gay but even though I'm still uncomfortable.
For a few months I even had a rainbow bracelet and exercise book with pictures of half naked men for everyone to see. I know, it's pathetic but I think I wouldn't feel good until the whole world will know I'm gay :frown:.
So basically I think I have two problems: I can't stop showing people I'm gay but on the other hand I can't fight off the anxiety.
Today I had a presentation to present and obviously I put a picture of two kissing guys on my desktop for everyone to see. I felt a bit nervous about it but I really felt guilty that I didn't choose a topic about gay issues (because it could be everything). Although everyone probably knows I'm gay becuase I made a lesson about gay rights last year but I thought everyone forgot.
Sometimes I really think I'm going crazy :frown:.