(big hug) directed at the big lug....
What you need is a pal who will pal around with you and drag you to these places. No not a boy friend, not a sex slave/FWB/Butt-Buddy whatever they are called now day - but someone you trust who can "chaperone" and introduce you to 'the scene'.
I was lucky, when I was introduced to the scene as a gay man I had my first lover with me... I honestly don't see myself ever screwing up the nerve back then to go into a gay bar... Scratch that, I don't see myself ever screwing up the nerve to walk into a gay bar even today by myself....period.
So I get the apprehension.
Now I know we have a few other people who live in Texas - I understand its a slightly large place, so I have no idea how far these folk are from you (
Mr. Tinkles, quick how far are you from Hank?)
But I really really think that one or more of those of you who live in Texas need to do a physical reach out here and walk Hank into the scene. Or drag him - Mind you - you may need assistance, its my understanding that he's a big guy....
Hank, you are isolated from 'your kind' which isn't helping you to reach full acceptance. If I lived closer I would gladly go with you to those places and help you to introduce yourself to your new fan base. I'm sorry, I don't.
All I can do is send you a bit of energy and strength that hopefully will be boosting your confidence to where you can get out of the car and walk through that door... A whole new world awaits for you...