Is my friend selfish or am I just exaggerating?

[Chris]

So recently I published a book and now I want to promote it. I asked my friend if he could post a link leading to information about the book on his facebook profile but he said he wouldn't advert anything that he doesn't know the content. However, I had asked him before and he refused reading it because it was out of his interests. It was surprise for me because even people I barely know helped me.

It's the second time I can't rely on him. A year ago we were about to go abroad on holiday but a few days before planning departure I had my wallet stolen and credit card and I had to stay home because there was a risk that a thief made a debt. But he took offense, saying that if something would happen I would go back.

What do you think about it?

[loserguy]

Hi,

I can accept someone not wanting to promote your book on their facebook page as facebook is more about the individual and I can accept that he may not have been interested in reading it for which he gave a perfectly acceptable answer. On that basis you could not call him selfish.

However his reaction to when you were robbed was not good. While I understand his disappointment, a real friend would have shared his money and been supportive in that scenario. That behaviour was not the behaviour of a friend but more of an acquaintance who tends to be ok on the surface but who when the going gets tough - he get going - in the opposite direction.

Based on what you have said and I realize he may have better qualities (which are unmentioned) I wouldn't be sharing too much of my time with him from now on!

[findingmyway]

Krysztof, what is your book called?

[Woollyhats]

Could be a trend. You get a general vibe with some people as to whether they're selfish or no.

If you share your books page, I'll share it through my Facebook, just so you know.

[Wardo94]

Personally, it was a little bit of an ass move that he couldn't even try and read the book. First he said he didn't want to post stuff on content he may not approve. And then you give him the option to read and see what he thinks and he still refuses that. Nonetheless, it was just an ass move like I said. Doesn't make him a bad person. He could have just been more considerate on his part. But the situation with the your wallet being stolen along with your credit card isn't good. The way he reacted to it was as if it was your fault and it obviously wasn't. Maybe he is a good person. Maybe not. But for now on, try not to rely on him on certain things. He doesn't seem like most reliable friend you could go to. Hope everything works out though.

[Pix]

Does he ever do good things for you? Does he ask you to do things for him (and how often do you)? Why is he your friend?

I'd have to know that before I could say anything.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

No reason (unless the Mods disagree) why you can't put a link either up here or on your profile page.

Of course if its written in Polish a few of us may struggle to read it ;-)

ObW
X

[Tulloni]

Well done on the book Krzysztof! Its not an easy thing to get a book published especially with all the competition out there. I hope it sells well!

As for the friend.... hmm, its a shame you've had a falling out but these things happen. I would try and mend it but if it gets worse you may have to dump him... as a friend I mean (not a lover!). Is there a reason there's some distance between you two? Has something happened? I would question him and challenge him. Ask him to explain why he's behaving like this. If he's not interested in the book's content then that's fair enough but even so he should surely post it on Facebook as a simple favour - that's what les amis do after all!

How long have you known this friend for anyway? Are you really really close to him?

It is bad he acted like that after your wallet was stolen. Given the circumstances he should've been a bit more understanding. If he treats you like that in a time of crisis I would just forget about him there and then but it is your choice. Still if he keeps behaving like this then you might want to consider quitting him. Just don't let him mistreat you!

[dfiant]

you asked him a question to which there was no wrong or right answer, and he didn't give you the answer you wanted so now you question if he is selfish?

I ask you what motivated you to call him a friend after it shows that he has a history of behaviour that you don't particularly like?

Instead of dwelling on negatives, go and make your own positives.