Low Sex Drive.

[Wardo94]

We've only been together for about 3 months so far so I haven't gotten bored with him at all. And he seems pretty interested himself. Just the sex part is bothering him. He's new to all of this so it can be that too. I was his first in everything. And I'm personally a kinky guy in the bedroom. I have my share of fetishes and fantasies. I can't really say I know him too well yet to know how he is in bed, even though we've done it twice. I'm sure he has his fantasies as well though, but he's slowly opening up to me as a whole. No pun intended :p I'm willing to do anything. I just think our experience with sex probably affected him greatly and he doesn't want to even risk it to happen again.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Owing to what you said about porn and masturbation, I think the most probable thing here is that he has a far greater expectation based on fantasy about what sex is supposed to be like than what it actually is.

Understand that he would not be alone in this. Recent-ish studies and polls has uncovered that there is a large chunk of your generation raised on a steady diet of pornography and internet access to stuff that my generation was isolated from (forbidden knowledge) that has lead to a great deal of suffering in relationships and real activity in bed.

For instance, your understanding of fetishes and kink was, in my generation, a rare thing for a 19 year old to know about - one had to actually walk around the block at least once to be introduced to it. Now kids who have access to the Internets can be exposed to BDSM and lots of other stuff, getting an education which is often wrong.

Especially since few videos out there cover the checklist making, safe words and the all important after-care of scene.

In his case, the most probable thing going on is he has unrealistic expectations of how sex actually works, and now that there were two flubs in a real bed its been playing mind games on him.

I can't think of any blooper reals when it comes to pornography - if such exists he needs to be exposed to that.....

[BobInTampa]

this is another case of TOO LITTLE INFORMATION to really help. I have more questions than answers:
1) When you say he's "new" to this what does that mean? Is he "out" or still in the closet? MANY closeted gay men have issues with intimacy when they are actually ALONE wiht a guy and not just "tricking." Also, if he's "out" to you but not his friends, family, etc...there can be A LOT of baggage he could be carrying (ie: guilt, religion, etc) - that WILL have an impact on performance.

2) Aside from actual SEX, does he show affection? (ie: kiss you, hug you, touch you affectionately)
3) What kind of porn is he watching and jacking off too? Have you checked his internet browser history to see for yourself?
4) You've only been seeing each other for 3-4 months, how did you meet? Are you living together?
5) Could there be physical issues at play? Is he attracted to you sexually? WHen i hear a guy say he can be in an LTR and not NEED sex, that means there is SOMETHING ELSE GOIGN ON!
6) What kind of sex did you both try? Oral? Anal? Did he top or bottom or what?
7) How hung are you both?
8) Can you describe you both: age, height, weight, etc

Can you give some more background infomation about you BOTH..not just him!

[Wardo94]

this is another case of TOO LITTLE INFORMATION to really help. I have more questions than answers:
1) When you say he's "new" to this what does that mean? Is he "out" or still in the closet? MANY closeted gay men have issues with intimacy when they are actually ALONE wiht a guy and not just "tricking." Also, if he's "out" to you but not his friends, family, etc...there can be A LOT of baggage he could be carrying (ie: guilt, religion, etc) - that WILL have an impact on performance.

2) Aside from actual SEX, does he show affection? (ie: kiss you, hug you, touch you affectionately)
3) What kind of porn is he watching and jacking off too? Have you checked his internet browser history to see for yourself?
4) You've only been seeing each other for 3-4 months, how did you meet? Are you living together?
5) Could there be physical issues at play? Is he attracted to you sexually? WHen i hear a guy say he can be in an LTR and not NEED sex, that means there is SOMETHING ELSE GOIGN ON!
6) What kind of sex did you both try? Oral? Anal? Did he top or bottom or what?
7) How hung are you both?
8) Can you describe you both: age, height, weight, etc

Can you give some more background infomation about you BOTH..not just him!

Well, we actually got that resolved. It's funny he decides to talk about it after I post this. Sorry for the rant guys! But I won't ignore your questions.
1. When I say "new", I mean I'm his first in everything pretty much. First kiss, boyfriend and all that. And he's only out to me (obviously), his mom just recently, and some online friends, but that's it.
2. Yeah. When we're together, he does.
3. I don't really know what he watches and I don't live with him to be able to check his history.
4. We don't live together and we met on an app called "Hornet".
5. He is attracted to me sexually very much.
6. We tried all of the basic stuff. Oral, anal, we both bottomed and topped. He didn't like oral that much.
7. I'm about 7" or more and he's 5.5" or 6".
8. Me: 19, 5"7, 180, slim with just a little fat packing on.
Him: 20, 5"4, 170ish, a bit chubby, but I have more fat than him.

Besides all that stuff, we started very slow in the beginning. We didn't kiss until like the 3rd week. Everything we took our time with, but then we rushed a bit as we got further into it. But like I said, our second time was very, very rushed. It was pretty much on a time limit of an hour or so cause' him mom was coming in an hour. We still live with our parents so it's not as easy to get privacy. But the rushing just made it a really bad experience overall so I think that could have messed with him for a while. But we already resolved from what it seems like of our last conversation.