I need advice badly. Boyfriend wants to break up because of his health problems.

[ChadCoxRox]

After all this time and dedication together he'd NOT keep me from being there! He'd need to literally become hostile and violent to stop me!!! I disagree with anything less than the respect the relationship demands in its time of greatest need.

Transition to using assistive technology is not horrible once it's done! Be long suffering, gentle and kind but do not take too much bull alone. Face him with his mother. Face him with his doctor. Face him with his friends. He'll discern more from your actions than your words. BEST WISHES!

[ChadCoxRox]

There are SO MANY who've made the same journey. Seek them out. Proof is undeniable after one becomes tired of denial.

[Kackerlacka]

Hey there, I understand that you said he was put on medication to make him happier? I believe u said that. was it antidepressants or anti anxiety meds? If so send me a PM I got news for you.

Do not leave his side. does not matter how much he says he wants you to leave. DO NOT.

[Anonymous]

Hey, thanks for your answers, guys!

To the person who mentioned recovery in movies - well, movies are movies and unfortunately don't quite work in real life. Of course, we're all hoping for the best, we have big hopes for the surgery that he'll have after some time, although we've already been warned that his spinal cord is damaged so badly that, according to his doctor "only a miracle could make him walk again".

Yes, he has a therapy, or I don't know is it a therapy, but a psychologist comes to him every day. But I've suspicion that my boyfriend doesn't want to cooperate with this kind of doctor, because as long as I know him, he has always looked down on psychologist's job and never considered psychologist to be a real doctor. I still remember him saying "every idiot can become a psychologist, you just have to talk as much nonsense as you can".

I would like so much to do nice things for him, but if he let me do it before, now he doesn't even want to see me anymore. I want to visit him very much, but I've suspicion he won't tolerate me next to him. He was so strict last time when he told me to find someone else. I know him well, if he has taken something into his head, there's no stopping him. What if he really means it, what if he really doesn't want me anymore? I'm not sure if I could live through this, he's my only love.

[SilverFrost]

He may be serious now, but his judgement is clouded by depression and his struggle to adjust to the situation. It is after all life changing to him but I think he doesn't realize that he is not only one affected by this. And even if he would agree at one point to see a therapist, he is not the only one needing help.

At one point I'd say it would be good if you both could have therapy, also as a couple. Sometimes these situations are just too much for us to handle them by ourselves. You need to be strong for him but you also need to take care of your own health, both mental and physical. If you break down it wont be good for either of you.

Be patient, stubborn and don't give up on him. It may take time.

[Evan88]

Sorry to hear...

I think with what happened to him, he is just feeling so small, unworthy, undeserving and more negative thoughts. I mean, it's normal to think that way when you are hospitalized and suffering paralysis because you would think you will not be good enough for someone..

For sure he loves you, and you love him as much... It's just that he is in a low point in his life right now that's why he told you all those things to you. What can you do though is stand by him, show through actions that your love didn't diminish just because of his condition.. You will get through it. Just support him and if he would recover from this, his emotions might be more stable