Are men only attracted to other men of similar body type?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well lets see... I'm an inch or so above 6', always tended to run on the lean to bone skinny side. My 'persona' has changed through the years, in my youth I wore a lot of suits, then had my Gothic Phase (no not gutter goth, I was classy goth). Now I'm a jean and t-shirt wearing sort with long hair... Hippy. Still on the narrow side (shut up South I have been eating)

#1,2,3 and 4 were all taller than me. #2 was native American, #3 was African American. #2 was a linebacker or quarterback build - you know, like a tank- heavy, strong but not necessarily a bodybuilder - muscles with a decent padding of fat. #3 was a body builder, even had won a few competitions locally and regionally. #4 was 20+ years my senior, and back in the day I was a suit wearing, short haired 'respectable' sort and he was all leather, jeans, chains and deliciously rough around the edges...

#5 was short, wiry and full of spunk... Um... vinegar spunk... um I mean plucky. Nelly as all hell too.

#6 was extroverted to the point where it hurt me to watch, I'm an introvert of the 'lets stay home for ever' variety. He was closer to my build, a few inches shorter, and somewhat skinny like me.

#1,2,3 and #5 we immediately stopped going to clubs and bars after meeting up and starting a 'relationship'.... Not that we were embarrassed at each other but because people have a way of getting all mean and nasty.

Especially with #3, black bodybuilder mixed with 'white twinkish - skinny white boy' was just not acceptable. The black bars hated the 'dusk queen' the white bars were all totally against a black man raping a white guy.... Yeah it get pretty ugly real fast with the comments people make and insinuating lots of ugly things... Such as I am a size queen (because as everyone knows all black men are hung like horses) and other stuff

With both #2 (Indian with feathers) and #3 there was a lot of the whispered question 'Wouldn't you be happier with, you know, your own kind?' Then hints that other not so nice stuff was going on...

With #4 and I people asked all sort of questions - like 'Is your dad a biker or what?'

Then my 'dad' would grab me and do decidedly incestuous things to me in front of the questioner making everyone except 'dad' blush....:eek:

The problem with dating outside of your expected circle is that everyone gets offensive and asks stupid questions and makes snide remarks and reveals that they hate anything different.

I think most couples who are 'odd' match just end up staying clear of the haters.

I hate to tell you this but the gay community is really intolerant, full of bigotry and nastiness that makes places like a KKK meeting seem all friendly and down home comfortable.

I don't know what the scene is like now, but back in my day it was all very plastic and clones - there would come this 'image' of what gay is now and the majority would jump on the band wagon and fit into that mold.

Not too long ago OK Cupid's data base was used to get a glimpse at interracial dating - apparently if someone from another race approaches a person they are all open to the idea of dating outside of their race. Problem is that few people approach another race because they feel they will get shot down or that society will just frown to hard.

I would assume its like that with all of the assorted differences that can exist... People are open to dating/getting into a relationship with someone very different, but no one is willing to take that first step to open the door...

[MisterTinkles]

I hate to tell you this but the gay community is really intolerant, full of bigotry and nastiness that makes places like a KKK meeting seem all friendly and down home comfortable.

I don't know what the scene is like now, but back in my day it was all very plastic and clones - there would come this 'image' of what gay is now and the majority would jump on the band wagon and fit into that mold.

Don't know about anywhere else, except places I have been, but it is still like this......if not worse. Dallas is EXTREMELY "plastic" this way.

When I was in California, bigotry of all kinds is just virally rampant, like it was in the 1950's and previous to that. OMG....the hate, the prejudice, the single minded fucked up mentalities there..... Makes the KKK and Neo Nazi's look like Mother Theresa groupies!!!

[swalter]

I think that has a lot to do with the particular region, or city. For example, here in Denver, there isn't the type of bigotry, racism, and segregation among different groups within the gay community that Bowyn Aerrow describes. Not to say there's no ignorance or bigotry, but it's certainly not to that significant extent. I imagine in Bible Belt, and more conservative States and cities, it's a lot worse.

[hank]

Well, my experience is that I prefer guys that are shorter, good thing because I am 6'9". Build I prefer an average guy, I love hairy legs...oh my... Yet my legs aren't very hairy. So no I don't necessarily go for a guy that looks like me.

[Kackerlacka]

Well, that's just attrcation. What's attractive. I don't think it had anything to do with ways the brain is. But my guess is that WE look at ourselves in the mirror, and WE think we look amazing therefore we look for someone amazing too our eyes, and what do we have to base that off of? Our imagine in the mirror because we think that looks good for us. This works in a sense because you are a male, you like how you look, and your attracted to other males. That means you would be attracted to your body type of a male since you are a male and you think you look good so you go for what's simular looking to you. NO IM NOT SAYING YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO YOURSELF. But just think about it, everyone thinks they look beautiful in the mirror. Therefore if your attracted to the same sex your gonna go more for what's looking like you since you think k you look beautiful.


And sorry guys in I explained a lot about the same thing over and over but it's part of my ocd. I need to keep explaining until it feels "just right". But im stopping myself this time because I am working on my ocd so im only allowed to explain so many times. Limiting myself. It's tough I wanna keep going but UGH.

ANYWAYS, yes....good day now.

[findingmyway]

Well, my experience is that I prefer guys that are shorter, good thing because I am 6'9". Build I prefer an average guy, I love hairy legs...oh my... Yet my legs aren't very hairy. So no I don't necessarily go for a guy that looks like me.

6'9? :eek:How do you go anywhere in a small space? Like a car?

[findingmyway]

I don't think I could ever date someone who looked like me. I get enough of myself when I pass by a mirror. It's not necessarily a "rule" that they look different from me, but it tends to work out that way regardless. I tend to be attracted to people with more muscle than me, but that's really not that hard to find.

[Joshular]

I guess this is kinda true with me.
I generally like skinny guys or slightly more muscular guys.
Even if they be a little bit fuzzy like me :3
I like the fuzz!
Fuzz!

[Kackerlacka]

I guess this is kinda true with me.
I generally like skinny guys or slightly more muscular guys.
Even if they be a little bit fuzzy like me :3
I like the fuzz!
Fuzz!

Your signature is awesome. Just saying.

[Ekwarph]

Err...it can be explained.
When you take care of yourself, you want to look handsome in your opinion, since you want to feel comfortable with yourself.
Therefore, your boyfriend, in many cases will look like the ideal you try to tend to.

That's not general, but finally, what you say is not surprizing.