Sometimes I feel like Iâm in a vat of molasses,
Stuck,
Unable to move,
But on the outside Iâm still moving,
Smiling,
Laughing,
Hiding,
Lying,
And sometimes I feel like Iâm stuck in the shadows,
Tied down,
Kept in an unending circle of thoughts,
Forced to relive my darkest moments,
Hearing the words said to me by others,
âFreak,â
âUgly,â
âIdiot, â
âStupid,â
âShut up!â
âNo one cares!â
âWhy should I listen to you?â
âWeirdo,â
âPsycho bitch,â
âYeah, so?â
âWas I talking to you?â
âGo away!â
âWe donât want you here!â
âGo somewhere else!â
And after a while new ones are added, ones said by my own brain to me,
Iâm a freak,
Iâm a good for nothing,
Iâm a loser,
Iâm never going to amount to anything,
Iâm Hideous,
If Iâm not carful theyâll know Iâm weird and tell me to leave,
Who cares what I have to say?
Iâm worthless,
My writingâs shit,
Iâm fat,
Iâm weak,
I should have run farther,
Look at me, canât even do a pull up,
And sometimes I feel so wrapped up in those thoughts that I canât even breathe,
Canât pull myself out,
Canât look up,
Canât get out of the shadows,
Canât see the light,
I feel so lonely,
Too caught up in the looks others give me to see the smiles of my friends,
Sometimes I feel like Iâm caught in the dark,
Sometimes I feel like the shadows will consume me,
Sometimes I need someone to pass me a torch to beat off the shadows and ward off the darkness,
Sometimes I need someone to pull me out of the vat of molasses,
Sometimes I need someone to see past the smiles,
Sometimes I need someone to see the girl tied down in the shadows,
Sometimes I need someone to untie me,
Sometimes I need someone to break the circle of thoughts,
Sometimes I need someone to wave away my darkest moments,
Sometimes I need someone to combat what others and myself say,
To say that Iâm worth it,
Iâll succeed,
Iâm beautiful,
That they will never leave,
I belong here,
Donât go,
Stay,
Weâll never make you leave,
What do you think?
Youâre worth something,
Your writingâs great,
Youâre strong,
Other times when Iâm in the light,
I see those who are in the shadows,
And then Iâm the one who beats off the shadows,
Iâm the one who passes the torch,
Iâm the one who wards off the darkness,
Iâm the one who pulls them out of the vat of molasses,
Iâm the one who sees past the smiles,
Iâm the one who unties them,
Iâm the one who breaks the circle of thoughts,
Iâm the one who combats the words,
Iâm the one who offers companionship,
Iâm the one who gives the encouraging words,
Iâm the one who helps,
Iâm the one who saves a life.