Why would a hot guy want to do something with an ugly guy?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I might have low opinion about myself, but I know how I look like and when I thought aboutvsome possible boyfriend I might have, I was thinking about someone who's more like me. I never thought I could have someone like him, becaus that's just illogical.

He is really gorgeous, even our straight male workers have claimed he's very good looking.

I don't want to have my heart broken, because I don' believe he could possibily be interested in me. I think he's doing all this attention thing for some reason, but I donn't know what reason could it be. Maybe he just wants to laugh about me, although I.haven't done anything to make him mock me.

[Lycanthropist]

One possibility you may be overlooking is that it's logical that he just wants a friend. He may not even be in to you sexually, but maybe he needs someone to do things with. Reading your posts, I think you'll disregard this immediately, but since you seem to not even want to give this fellow the time of day outside of work, we may never know. Honestly, what do you have to lose? A few hours of your time? Perhaps miss your favourite television show? For once, why not put your self-esteem to the side and do something out of your comfort zone. Or are you afraid that you just might have a good time and make a connection with someone that you deem to be above your station in life. You do realize how hard it is for ANYONE to ask someone out? Not just the so called good looking people? They are often just as insecure as we not-so-beautiful people. If I were in your shoes, I'd jump at the chance even if it just developed in to a really good friendship. But again, we'll never know what happens. Such a wasted chance. My condolences.

[Kenny221]

Everyone's view on gorgeous is different, so why can't you just give him a shot? My taste with men differs greatly from my friends. My friends would call my the guys I like 'ugly' but who are they to judge what kind of guys I like?

Same goes for you, everyone's definition of beauty is different, and I think this guy might be interested in you, so I think you should give it a go... If you don't, you might regret this someday.

[jimcrackcorn]

Could it be, he just wants to be friends.

As an example: Many years ago while I was deployed overseas (Navy man), I invited this guy to spend the day with me when we were in a Spanish port. I wasn't attracted to him in any way, but he seemed like a nice guy and he was gay. I was already in a relationship with a man back home, and just wanted a gay friend to hang out with while we were in port.

I do recall that he did seem a little subdued while we were out together that day, almost as if he didn't trust me for some reason. I never realized that he may have been wondering why I was taking an interest in him. Looking back, it probably would have alleviated a lot of his concerns if I had explained up-front that I just wanted to be friends and hang-out together.

So,,,, ask him if he wants to be friends,,, cause he may be a little dense like me,, and not realize he should explain why he wants to take you out.

Good luck,
Jim

[Undreamt]

Yeah there is one big catch... You might have some fun.

Seriously, why are you over thinking it, just enjoy it for what it is, if he likes you then great.

[southbiochem]

What you are doing here, anonymous, is poisoning with your insecurities something you could have before it even starts.

The sad part about all this is that you are going to miss chances and diss out possibilities because you will see hidden agendas in anyone who seems to show interest in you.

And this will lead you to be alone. Which will lead you to gloat in the fact you were right or so it will seem to you.

But this won't be true. You won't be alone because you are "ugly" or whatever word you come up with to describe yourself. You will be alone because of your own doing. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

This will come to happen if you keep this attitude.

CHANGE IT.

Get counseling, therapy, work on yourself. Get to a place you see yourself worthy.

Someone out there has already seen you as worthy. From what you described he maybe very well be seeking a friendship. Maybe something more.

But your instant reaction is to diss him out. Has he ever shown any type of behavior consistent with your suspicions?

Follow logic here and go for it.

If you are right, the truth will come out eventually and things will be as they are now.

If you are incorrect, you can have something.

I don't see what you would be losing in trying.

[BorneoJake]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder my friend. We all have our different tastes in people. Go out and see what happens. Don't ruin this wonderful opportunity with a negative attitude

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Blah blah blah... what they all said.

I'm going to tentatively agree with the majority here, though I think that you know something is wrong with this situation. No doubt it has happened to you before thus your gut is screaming 'RUN AWAY!'....

And for good reason, that sort of game playing does happen - a lot.

I say take him up on the offer of a movie, and look to be friends only.... put it out there that you have a strict no sex policy for the first 30 days if he starts getting pushy about scoring with you. Own the situation, act like you have been around the block more than once and are just tired of guys wanting to have sex with you all the time.

Yes I know, its never happened - but if you act like that, if he is playing some sort of game he will drop it.

Don't say you have been hit upon by all things in pants - allude to it... things like 'Well you know how gays are all about one night stands - god that is so boring....'

[driftwood]

OK, go up to your friend tomorrow, and ask him "Do you think I'm good-looking?" He'll probably need a moment to refocus, then he'll get confused, and ask what you mean. You see, he's probably never given your looks a second thought.

The fact of the matter, and I hate to be blunt, but you're being very shallow. On the other hand, he is being genuine, and is looking to connect with the personality inside. To him, the exterior is just that, the exterior.

I'm like you. Looks are important to me. But I know I'm a dunce. Looks are the least important aspect of a person's personality. Get it through your skull - looks are not important to everybody. Focus on your strong suit, and forget the rest. Let the pretty boys get stuck with the spoiled prima donna pretty boys. Meanwhile, you'll be spending quality time with someone who has depth.

Yeah, to be surprised he wanted to spend time with you is okay, but to turn him down on those grounds is downright rude, and he was probably offended - I would have been.

Get over what you see in the mirror. It's not impossible that he likes you. Why would he date someone who's more like him. He's probably had his fill of those jerks, and wants to get next to someone real.

Listen to Lycanthropist and jump at the chance. You might wind up with a friendship. If you go into it with the assumption that what he wants is friendship, and that's what you want also, then nothing can go wrong.

[LONDONER]

What could you possibly lose by accepting his invitation to the cinema? At the very least you could clear up your doubts.