Do you want to go out or not??

[CellarDweller]

Move on to a guy who is actually willing to meet.

I've had this happen a few times.....guys will message and chat me up, and then when I suggest meeting, the topic changes. Once that happens, I stop returning their messages.

[freelandia]

However, it's a bit harder over here to find someone. So having backup plans is very hard, and if I find others, they're usually super creepy.

China is huge country! You must be very hard to please, or your obsession for this guy is too great to erase. Romantic love or attraction is blinding, we've all heard that too.

[NthePink]

Well, I mean, here's the deal:

It's hard to be out and socially accepted over here, so it's very hard to find guys that are like-minded and it usually gets handled on the down low. One guy met me 2 years ago, said nothing then texted me later that he was gay. Somehow picked up on my proclivities.

So yeah, not too easy to find. As for women? Less are interested in foreign men than media would lead on to. Or they're too embarrassed to approach or talk to a foreign man. Or there's language barriers, perceived or real. My Chinese isn't abysmal but not top notch either, so many won't approach just because their English sucks and think my chinese does too.

And I've talked to legit creeps. Like, creepy enough that I was scared to ever see them again.

[freelandia]

You're able to connect with us through the internet and homosexuality is legal in Qingdao. Perhaps you should pave the way to make things more socially accepted where you live? Our heroes are the ones who paved the way for us be more open in public: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGB...of_America

It's a constant struggle. My spouse and I are probably the only open gay people in our community. Many of our neighbors don't like us. So what! You have to start somewhere.

[NthePink]

Easier for a Chinese to do than a foreigner though.

I think China's stance is changing, but however, there's still a huge battle over societal norms (e.g. you make babies to pass down our lineage) to be fought. For foreigners to fight it is hard. Yeah, sure, it was foreigners who got the foot binding done away with, but nowadays Chinese look at foreigners who challenge what the norm is here with an attitude of, "If you don't like how we do things over here, then go back home."

[freelandia]

Are you in Qingdao now typing away, or are you in another country? Do Qingdao people have open access to this website, or is GaySpeak blocked? Chinese or not, you've started a Qingdao gay movement.

[NthePink]

Yeah I'm in Qingdao. No, big brother doesn't have this site blocked. Hopefully doesn't plan to.

[Mark]

Its easier to talk the talk than walk the walk. Maybe in his head it sounded like a good idea a good plan, but when it comes to the reality of meeting it scares the crap out of him and puts him off? It does sound like a bit of a waste of time and I agree you should carry on looking. Plenty more fish in the sea.

[NthePink]

That's what I'm thinking is the case here.

Anyway, with that behind me, met a couple here that said they may know someone looking to date. We'll see what happens.

[Mark]

That's what I'm thinking is the case here.

Anyway, with that behind me, met a couple here that said they may know someone looking to date. We'll see what happens.

Good luck with it and keep us posted!